please help me out!! my guest list is already about 30 people over what id like it to be...my FH is a high school wrestling coach and really LOVES his kids..theyre about 15-17 years old...we went to a wedding last year for the other coach of the team, and he had the boys come to the ceremony and cocktail hour, but they didnt come to the dinner...im confused..i think its tacky personally...to not send someone an invitation, to only tell them, oh yea by the way come to the cocktail hour, but you cant stay to eat...but my FH feels like this is ok and understandable considering their relationship...what do ya think?? HELP my invites go out next week!!
kathrynlinton
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I've never heard that.
But, many of my friends and family are teachers and generally what they do is invite the kids to the ceremony and not to the reception and that is usually good.
CLMon7906
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
yeah, that's like you can come to my birthday and bring me a gift, but you can't have ice cream and cake.
VERY tacky.
jessandjimiswedding
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
personally i think, invite them fully or don't invite them at all.
trish71407
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
i agree, i think its tacky! I would invite them to the ceremony only!
ETA: Or like the post before invite them fully or not at all!
Princess92406
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
i totally agree...do u think i should wait alil and see if i get some no's for RSVPS, and then send an actual invite? although im really not thrilled about having a table full of teenagers there, but my FH really loves these kids, and they really look up to him
Honestly, just bc someone else did it dosen't mean you have to. I wouldn't invite those kids at all. Nothing personal against the kids but this is a wedding you are paying for. Hope it all works out for you.
ali120206
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I think it's a little tacky but, since they are 15-17 year old boys who went through this last year, they probably wouldn't think that.
Do you think they might be upset if your FH didn't follow suit of what the other wrestling coach did?
sr081906
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I was once invited to a co-workers wedding. Church and reception.
After the ceremony, they had a catering room in the back of the church (it was in the South!) with a table for gifts.
I thought that was the reception with appetizers and a 'wedding cake'.
Well, it wasn't and was asked if I was going to the reception. Uhhh? I thought that was the reception.
Of course, someone would talk. Other guests did not know only a selected few would be invited to the REAL reception.
So, did I feel offended? YES. I almost took my present back on the way out the door. I felt insulted. I guess I was just invited for my gift.
In your event, how are you going to tell people to leave when everybody else is not?
jessandjimiswedding
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Posted by Princess92406
i totally agree...do u think i should wait alil and see if i get some no's for RSVPS, and then send an actual invite? although im really not thrilled about having a table full of teenagers there, but my FH really loves these kids, and they really look up to him
i don't think either of us has been in your FH's posistion. so he has to really think it over and see if he REALLY wants to invite them.
CLMon7906
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
IF you are marrying at the RH, there's no polite way around having someone not come to the CH or the reception.
Princess92406
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Posted by ali120206
I think it's a little tacky but, since they are 15-17 year old boys who went through this last year, they probably wouldn't think that.
Do you think they might be upset if your FH didn't follow suit of what the other wrestling coach did?
This is exactly true from what my FH says, they did it last year, no one was mad, we would OF COURSE in advance make sure they did not bring gifts...and yes i think he feels like these kids didnt even really like the other coach and they all went to show respect, if my FH didnt invite them at all id feel bad...maybe we should just suck it up?...eh i dunno
Princess92406
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
we are marrying at a church, then going to the RH..
I personally think it's tacky and had never heard of it being done until a few minutes ago. I guess it would really depend on the relationship you had with the person.
In your case with him being their coach I personally think it's inappropriate, but that's just my opinion... I think it's a very personal decision you and your FH should make together.
Jweb17
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Posted by jessandjimiswedding
personally i think, invite them fully or don't invite them at all.
I second that!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
You should invite them to the ceremony only. Since you are getting married in a church, this is easy. I think its bad taste to only invite them to the CH. And like you said- do you really want a table full of teenage boys at your wedding?
SeptBride70
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Posted by kathrynlinton
I've never heard that.
But, many of my friends and family are teachers and generally what they do is invite the kids to the ceremony and not to the reception and that is usually good.
i totally agree
my sister and her FH are both teachers and a few of their favorite kids that really like them are coming to the church (ceremony only)... so that's how they did it.
i would do the same if i were you. good luck
bellaro782
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Posted by CLMon7906
yeah, that's like you can come to my birthday and bring me a gift, but you can't have ice cream and cake.
VERY tacky.
Yes I agree thats like you can come to my b-day party but ones it really starts & the food comes out you have to leave
roroleelee
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Oh I agree with the other girls here. It's mean and rude to invite someone to the cocktail hour and then make them leave at the reception. All or nothing.
