please help me out!! my guest list is already about 30 people over what id like it to be...my FH is a high school wrestling coach and really LOVES his kids..theyre about 15-17 years old...we went to a wedding last year for the other coach of the team, and he had the boys come to the ceremony and cocktail hour, but they didnt come to the dinner...im confused..i think its tacky personally...to not send someone an invitation, to only tell them, oh yea by the way come to the cocktail hour, but you cant stay to eat...but my FH feels like this is ok and understandable considering their relationship...what do ya think?? HELP my invites go out next week!!
mrsh2b
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
No, no, major social faux pas. If they were really little kids maybe but I think with teenagers it's inappropriate to invite them to just the CH. That's JMHO
lipglossjunky73
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Wow - 2 questions like this at the same time!
In my wildest dreams - I NEVER would ever think of telling people to come to my CH and just leave when its over!!
that is just the worst thing to do someone - it almost is like - show up long enough to leave me a gift since we ARE feeding you something....
cjb88
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
i think this kind of makes sense if the ceremony and reception are in the same place only... you invite students to the ceremony... and if they stay for the cocktail hour a bit... fine...
i wouldnt however formally invite them to the ceremony and cocktail hour...especially if they are students... what if they get served a drink... that is your responsibllity and now you are serving drinks to minors...
Bklyngrl
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
yep, personally I would not invite someone to only the ceremony/cocktail hour. I would be too worried they'd think I want a gift etc. but this is just my opinion. However, if they asked me to be invited or if they could attend i would try to be accommodating.
jes81276
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I would invite them to the church only....or not at all.
N.Y.bride
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I dont know how the hall would charge you for that.
My guests walked straight across the hall from CH to the reception so I think it would be odd to say you can come over with everyone else.
I can see inviting to just the ceremony.
citycrab705
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
As a teacher, i know many others who invited students and even some fellow teachers to the church but not the reception, i don't think it's appropriate to invite the kids to the reception, and you definately can't invite them to cocktail hour and not the dinner, as a few others have stated IMO that would be rude, the ceremony is really the important part so if they want to be a part of your day i hope they would understand
October Bliss
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
You're right - it's unacceptable. It is OK to invite them to the ceremony and nothing else - or they get invited to everything.
Calimali
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I think his students would love to come!!! I invited my kindergarten class. I gave them each an invitation to the church only. Maybe thats different bc they are so young. However, if your ceremony is at the RH... I see how that could be a problem. Dont think they should be at the cocktail hour though. Its either Ceremony only, or nothing.
Boston&NY2006
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I would either invite them to the whole thing or not at all. I don't think it's at all appropriate to invite someone to just the ceremony or just the cocktail hour. It's like saying, 'You're not good enough to make the real guest list, but we'll let you come to this.' Tacky, tacky, tacky IMO...
(Although I do think it's nice when teachers invite their students to the church...Obviously, that's a totally different situation though).
MyDay627
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Never heard of that and what happens if the boys dont understand this and wonder into the main room for dinner? Do you go up to them and ask them to leave? I wouldnt do it. Just invite them to the church if money is an issue.JMO
lanabean
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
Um, all or nothing. IMO, that's kind of tacky.
edsprincess
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
JMO- but I don't think they need to be invited. Thats alot of people. Just because the other coach did doesn't mean you guys have to.
Princess92406
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
LOL i started something HUGE here...just wanna clear something up... I DO think its tacky, my fiance has no clue (which most of them dont) that this is not a nice thing to do, and thinks that since they did it at the other coaches wedding, they would assume again to come hang out for the CH, and then leave after..WE DONT want or WOULD EVER accept a gift from any of them..it isnt about that..my FH happens to be a huge mentor for these children, and just thought it would be nice to have them there...i think maybe i should just give in and invite them to the wedding maybe w/o dates or something..i dunno what to do... anyway i just wanted to clear up the fact that this isnt what my opinion was, so im not the tacky one ;) lol...thanks for the replies
sarahradio5
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
we had a girl do this in college and thought it was THE tackiest thing in the world.
And Marsha - that biotch from Bridezillas did a 'peanuts and punch' cocktail hour and a VIP reception for the important people... I would feel like crap if I wasn't 'good enough' to go to the 'VIP reception'.
I would try to avoid doing this if I were you. I think it would hurt a lot of people's feelings who weren't invited to the reception. It's been 10 years since that girl's wedding from college, and we STILL talk about her wedding and how tacky that was of her! You don't want people to remember your wedding like that! I think it's better to just cut down your guest list overall than to put people on a 'VIP' list.
Good luck!
lauren721
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Re: invite to CH but not to RECEPT?
I am a teacher and I invited many of my high school age students to my ceremony, but not to any part of the reception. If you invite them to the cocktail hour, how do you then usher them out and ask them to leave? Also, who will be watching to make sure that they don't drink? Your FH is responsible for them as they are attending an event that he invited them to. If God forbid something happens, your FH could lose his job. I don't think it is worth it.
