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Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

ThreeTwenty Posted:

Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

x!!

june262004 Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

SO RIGHT!!!! Fighting right now over the sae thing!!!!!!! Fh sister said when she got married FIL forbid her to put her FH dads name on the invite cause he wasnt for paying anything! Fmil said 'I dont want my family to think he did paid for somthing and he didnt' FMIL says (about giving money for our wedding) and I qoute'I already paid for my daughters wedding i'm done' I think it should be who ever is paying for it.

ThreeTwenty Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

Exactly! FMIL is lucky her son's name is gonna be on it!
june262004 Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

LOL

maybride Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

Right on ThreeTwenty. Love that answer!

If you really want to be nice, and still make it clear who is paying, you can say

Mr/Mrs jones
invite you to marriage of daughter
Maria
to
Harold,
SON OF MRS. B***h

Her name can be there!

Good luck.
Julybaby Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

Unless FMIL is chipping in, etiquette-ly speaking the invitations should say 'Mr. and Mrs. 3/20 request the honor...'

VickiC Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

I'm going to jump in here and say that even though etiquettly speaking you are correct, for the sake of family harmony, you might want to include them.

I have an aunt who had this done to her, and she was so upset about it - I seriously think it hurt her relationship with her DIL.

You don't have to put 'Together with their parents' but maybe son of Mr. & Mrs. X would be nice. And you would be the better person for it.

Just remember that you also have to spend the rest of their lives with them, and anyone would rather not start off a marriage (or the last few months of planning) with an argument or hurt feelings.

Just my $.02 cents
JuneBride44 Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

I agree with VickiC - you might want to do it just to keep the peace.
Everyone probably already knows that your parents are paying for the wedding anyway.
Plus, putting their names after your FI's names and saying 'son of Mr. and Mrs.' isn't so bad.
I wouldn't give in to the 'together with their families bit' though.
My FI and I are actually paying for most of our own wedding (my parents are picking up the dress and flowers and tons of registry gifts!) but his parents aren't giving us anything, but I am still going to put their names on the invite. Who wants to hear about it 10 years from now during the holidays anyway??
sept20yay! Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

I sort of agree with the last two..... My parents are paying for 90% of the wedding, and they wanted their names up top. Well, they are pretty good parents and have been really nice to me and I am sure that they are giving what they could afford. They have done so many other nice things for fi and I and they wil be family. In the end, because of that reason, I put both parent sets up top as having done the inviting and I don't think anyone really cares. The main thing is the seating---- people will know when your parents friends are sitting right near you guys and fi's parents' friends are in the less great locations of the room. They are completely kept in the dark so the wedding choices are up to you and your parents.

ThreeTwenty Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

Ok my parents are not divorced but his are, so if I put 'son of ......' what should it say?

groovypeg Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

does your MIL have the same last name as FH? Is MIL remarried? IS FIL remarried?

ThreeTwenty Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

neither are remarried and FMIL has a different last name than FH.

would it say
'son of
Ms. Annoying and Mr. Shady' ?
groovypeg Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

here is a link from the weddingchannel.com

invitation etiquette

maybe this will help?
firegal Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

I agree with Vicky about the keeping harmony thing, however, you're parents might get offended since they ARE paying. I would have it say Mr. and Mrs. blank (your parents) request the honor... to the marriage of their daughter blank to blank, the son of Mr and Mrs blank.

My parents are contributing the most but FHs parents are contributing some money and we are paying for the rest, therefore, ours will say Together with their parents.

JMO, of course.
Rob-luvs-me Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

I'm in the same position - but they don't have any say in the invitations. My parents are paying 100% of the wedding and my parents have taken it rather personally that his family won't even help us (they tell my parents about the new house they are building, the vacations they are taking and the new furniture they are buying since they have given all their furniture to FSMIL's family) with the rehearsal dinner (which means FH and I will be paying for that FFIL won't even attend b/c FMIL will be there) my parents will NOT allow his family to be on the invites and FH agrees with them on this - they don't want his father to say he helped pay for a wedding he has done nothing but complain and insult us for.

Fh is planing on telling them that they have not helped pay and it is traditional for the host to have their name on the invitations - My feeling is that if they are not contributing and FH is comfortable for his parents names to NOT be on there then I wouldn't worry about it - tell her - that your parents are in charge of the invites and all the say you get is to pick them out - that is what I plan on doing - that way you are not personally insulting them - you are telling them it is NOT your place to make the decision.
Rob-luvs-me Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

Oh as far as family harmony - my feeling is that putting together with their parents might cause bitter feelings for your father if he is paying - JMO and my FH feels the same way

Nora101004 Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

My divorsed parents help pay for my sis wed. Her IL's gave $0000.00. Her invite said MOB & FOB blah blah blah. For my wed my parents are helping too, my MIL said, and I believe her, she will give us a deal on her house which we intend on buying. My FIL passed away. My mom wants names on the invite, FH isn't comfy about wording for dad, so we are putting the parents of...

Bottom Line: No money, no recognition on the invite.
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

Well.. money or not.. I think it should be the Brides family's names.

I can see the whole son of issue... as well if money were concerned and people were going to get their panties in a twist.

Personally.. I like..
Miss bride and Mr. Groom along with their families..
THen again in my case NEITHER is contributing.

I love my dad to death tho, so I'm going with the whole Mr & Mrs X thing.. Problem for me is I hate my stepmother and am pushing for the Mr. & Mrs. Dad X not Dad & Stepmonster X.

(BLah we need to use names.. this whole code stuff is confusing!!)

I think it's rude your IL should pop this on you...

kathy2176 Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

I am not putting any parents on our invites. We are paying for 100% of the wedding. Ok, except for RD but, that is our gift from FIL's. I feel the same way, whoever is paying for the wedding does the inviting. My father payed for our e-party so, his name was on the invites. My FMIL probably won't be happy about no names but, she understands.
If I were you, I would keep the peace and just put 'son of'. I think that is the best way to go. It's a big deal now but, in 10 years you want it to be long forgotten.
What-Now Posted:

Re: Invite wording!! Am I wrong?

we did mr & mrs Bride's parent

blah blah blah to
to
mr. groom

Son of Mr and Mrs.
groom's parents

just wanted to honor his parents. Also, they did contibut a little bit!

Just my 2 cents!

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