Invite wording problem? Long HELP!!!

Ok so I emailed my mother (in Florida) a picture of the invite to get her opinion.
She liked it but wanted to know if this was the wording we choose.

I told her no. But.....I know what she was getting at.

Only our names were on the sample. We R paying 4 the wedding w/ the exception of... about $2k-$3k from mom and $6k-$8k from FIL's.

That said i think my mom wants her name on the invite which means I have to put his parents names on it which means I have to put my dad on there. I cant just leave him out even thou he hasn’t contributed anything.

What should I do. Stand strong and only put our names, suck it up and put everyone’s? I think my mom will get pissed if my dad's is on there too when he hasn’t given anything. (Divorced if you didn’t already catch that.)

And not to ramble but my mother & I don't have the best of relationships. She kicked my out at 16 and I've been on my own since. My dad moved to SC when I was 18 and my sister in FL when I was 15 and my mom moved to FL in Sept.
I've done everything on my own and I'm not getting much help now either.

I think I answered my own question.

This is what we did:

Together with their parents
Bride
and
Groom
Request the honor of your presence at their wedding
on
date
etc.

Your names are on it and parents are acknowledged also.

Good luck,
Donna

no real advice... just wanted to share my situation i'm in basically the same boat... we are getting about 5K from my parents and 3K from his... but we didn't put any of their names on the invite. no real reason other than i just wanted to keep it simple and not have 6 names on the invite. his parents haven't seen it, and so far my parents weren't offended at all... my dad just said ' its you and luke's thing, our names don't need to be on there'... i think you need to explain to your mom that you realy weren't trying to offend her or anyone... but its just how you want things.

thanks ladies and thanks mrsmck for the option.

i was thinking about this yesterday. we are paying for the majority of the wedding and were going to do our names and then together with our parents, but i think my mom and dad (we're Italian) will be very offended by that .

we decided on:
Tara and Bill
together with our parents
my family
his family
request the honor of your presence.

in your situation it might not be that easy. i think the together with our parents should help though.

---

Posted by mrsmck

This is what we did:

Together with their parents
Bride
and
Groom
Request the honor of your presence at their wedding
on
date
etc.

Your names are on it and parents are acknowledged also.

Good luck,
Donna

---

This is what we decided on too.
I'm in the same situation and like you, don't want to offend anyone.

We did Together with their Parents also.

Both of our parents are divorced and both my parents are remarried.

To many names when it is YOUR wedding day.

My parents are probably not going to contribute anything to the wedding - my mother has no money and my dad lives in South Africa and I haven't even told him I got engaged - but that is not the reason why we are not putting either of our parents' names on the invites.
There is another thread on feeling responsible for making other people happy, and I feel that you should not worry about it. First of all, go with your initial gut wishes - they're always right. Make your mom a big part of your day, but do not put her or anyone else's name on the invitiations if you do not want to. Unless they are throwing the whole party, then it's your event and therefore your name.
I also don't like the way it's worded when it says:
The parents of (or Mr. and Mrs.) BRIDE
blablabla their daughter
FIRST MIDDLE
to
(groom's) FIRST MIDDLE LAST
I just think it looks weird if the bride gets only two names and the groom gets all three

I had the same problem. My mother was 'devestated' that her name wasn't going to be on there and unfortunately 'Together with our parents' just wasn't good enough.

So we did

Lisa XXXX
daughter of Mr. & Mrs. XXXXXXXXXXX

and Gregg YYYYYYYYYY
Son of Mrs. YYYYYYYY

request the honour of your yada yada yada

i was also thinking of making it sound like you are just saying 'who are the parents'...the only problem is that you break up the names of you and your FH...

The honor of your precense is requested at the wedding of

BRIDE,
daughter of XXX and XXX

to

GROOM,
son of XXX and XXX

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Posted by mrsmck

This is what we did:

Together with their parents
Bride
and
Groom
Request the honor of your presence at their wedding
on
date
etc.

Your names are on it and parents are acknowledged also.

Good luck,
Donna

---

If I were you I would do this one. It shows that both parents have contributed in some way and that you and your FH have been responsible for the wedding. I think this is the safest way to go without insulting anyone. Afterall, your FH parents are contributing a lot they should definetly be acknowledged. If your mother still isn't satisfied, just explain to her the only other way to word it will seem like she is paying for the wedding and she isn't.

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Posted by Empire State

i was thinking about this yesterday. we are paying for the majority of the wedding and were going to do our names and then together with our parents, but i think my mom and dad (we're Italian) will be very offended by that .

we decided on:
Tara and Bill
together with our parents
my family
his family
request the honor of your presence.

in your situation it might not be that easy. i think the together with our parents should help though.

---

Did you run this past your printer yet? We were going to do this, and she said it would have looked so wrong - since usually the b&g names are bigger, the invite would look lopsided and top-heavy. Just FYI.

Thanks again for all the help! What would I do w/o u guys?

I'm gonna pick one with just our names and one with the 'together with their parents'.
I will see how she feels and go from there.
If I were to put everyone's names on it it would be like...

Miss. Donna XXX and Mr. John XXX (divorced)
request the honor of your presents at the marriage of there daughter
Devin J XXX
to
Rich XXX
Son of Mr. & Mrs XXX

on .........

It's just too much! Everyone will just have to get over it. It is after all about us on our wedding day!!!
I'm sick of all this edict crap!