Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

tiffandmatt Posted: Oct 20, 2005 12:07 AM

Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I work with a large group of people, we interact closely every day. I would like to invite some of my work friends. . . .however, my problem is that I can't possibly invite them all. How do I go about inviting some co-workers, without hurting others. Should I not invite any of them, so that no one feels left out? It's not even that I don't like the people, who I wouldn't invite, I'm just trying to narrow down my list. Any advice?

October Bliss Posted: Oct 20, 2005 12:46 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

What I have been doing is randomly having conversations whenever someone asks, about how expensive the wedding is and how the only real place to make cuts is with the guest list. I figure by the time the invites go out no one will be surprised if they don't get one, and those who do get one will know exactly how much I value the work relationship.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Oct 20, 2005 06:53 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

Honestly, I'm a true believer in all or nothing.

What we did personally: We didn't invite anyone from work no matter how close we are with the exception to our direct managers.

We work 8+ hours each day with these folks which leads us towards a tendency to feel 'close' to some, but we are on such a STRICT guestlist, we didn't want to have to go through the hassle of picking one over the other when it came to co-workers.

It's been a breeze, and no one questions it or gets offended, and folks really do not get 'hurt' if they're not invited.

I'm also a firm believer of not mixing business with pleasure as well.

GMD Posted: Oct 20, 2005 07:03 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I went by the 'all or nothing' thoery. I also read somewhere that you should only invite coworkers that you interact with socially outside of work. It's a tough situation...

Pmpkn087 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 07:20 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I had the same problem. I just invited the people that I am closest with, the ones that I would hang out with individually after work. If any of the others say something, just explain that you are on a very limited guest list and you would love to invite more people, but you just can't do it. You would be surprised at how understanding people are.

E-n-K Posted: Oct 20, 2005 07:41 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

We haven't sent wedding invites, but for our e-party FH sent an e-mail to all of the coworkers he wanted to invite and said they would be invited but he would appreciate it if they didn't tell the coworkers that weren't invited. He told these friends that the others weren't invited due to a #s issue.

conigs25 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 08:23 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I look at it this way 'Who would be able to identify my FI in a line-up?' Meaning, if they dont know him well enough too, they shouldnt be invited. I work alot of teachers in my dept. Im only inviting th eones i socialize w/ outside of school

jackiez Posted: Oct 20, 2005 08:26 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I'm in investment banking, so I definitely felt the pressure to invite the 'higher-ups'. I invited the four people in my group that are senior to me and then two more people who are my level or lower who I have actually socialized with outside of work. There were other people who I am 'friendly' with at work who were totally understanding that they weren't invited.

carlsbride Posted: Oct 20, 2005 08:50 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I think if you invite some and not others, there will be hurt feelings, there is no way around it.

I have gone back and forth on this issue and have finally decided that I will only invite my manager and his boss. It is hard because you work all day with these people. Good luck with your decision and try not to let it bother you to much!

FallBride05 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 08:57 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I invited a small handful of work people, but mostly people like my boss, his two direct reports that I work closely with and 4 ladies that I socialize with outside of work. It was a little different for my FH b/c he is in a very visible and executive position, so he had to be 'political' and invite alot of his work associates.

MrsH1156 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 09:08 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

Posted by conigs25

I look at it this way 'Who would be able to identify my FI in a line-up?' Meaning, if they dont know him well enough too, they shouldnt be invited. I work alot of teachers in my dept. Im only inviting th eones i socialize w/ outside of school

I'm pretty much doing the same thing. If they don't know my FH by sight, they aren't invited. I only talk about the wedding outside of the office and if questions about how my plans are coming comes up, I politely answer without giving too much detail. The people who will be invited have actually been to my house or met my FH outside of a work setting. I've also made it very clear we're having a small wedding so I don't think people will be surprised it they don't receive an invite.

leese Posted: Oct 20, 2005 09:22 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

i am in the same situation and have no idea what to do.

i have two bosses, but we (all of us) have three secretaries. i have one same-level colleague and another woman that i never talk to. but all together the executive team is 7 people. 14 is just too much for me to have!

i would love to invite just 2 of my secretaries and my 2 bosses. but it's a hard thing to do... then i'd be leaving out 3 people....

to confuse the issue even more, i'm leaving within a year. and i'll never see anyone ever again...... it's tough! i hope to figure it out soon!

psf80 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 09:24 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

FH only has 6 people in his department at work, so he's inviting them all. As for me, I work at a smaller law firm, in total there are 15 of us and I'm inviting everyone. I interact with everyone on a daily basis. If I couldn't invite everyone I would invite the partners and that's it. If you can't invite everyone, just do the bosses.

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 09:24 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

Although we're having a relatively small wedding (75 guests), I was in limbo about inviting certain people from work as well. But then I thought about how awkward it would feel to invite some and not others, soooo, FH and I decided not to invite any of our co-workers, thus giving our guest list a breather...

elmtobe Posted: Oct 20, 2005 09:29 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I'm only inviting one person from work, she's been here as long as I have, and we've always worked closely together...and like someone else said, I'm changing jobs so I won't have to see anyone....on the flip side, my FH is inviting almost all of the guys he works with...they are like family to him, they talk all the time outside of work..even his bosses...If you've never socialized outside of work, keep them off the list

Naunie Posted: Oct 20, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I am only inviting my supervisor and her boss (*also a close manager). I don't know, maybe I should invit the boss above her...
But thats it, no peers. I dont want my # of co workers there to exceed the # of friends...

hmpena Posted: Oct 20, 2005 10:24 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

Up until last week, FH and I worked together. So we have to invite everyone (I am there part time). We tried to get around it, but there was no way.

MayBride06 Posted: Oct 20, 2005 10:29 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

My job is so catty and people talk about you no matter what. depending on the day of the week, depends on who is nice to me or not Ridiculous I say! So the way I look at it is if they have invited me to a function for them say christening, BBQ or tupperware party before and I have done the same, then they get an invite, otherwise...screw them all! I will not shell out over $100pp b/c they will be offended! They get offended form the slightest thing!

103005FallBride Posted: Oct 20, 2005 10:30 AM

Re: Inviteing People From Work? Advice PLEASE!

I work in a large dept. The people in my dept that are on my 'team' are invited. Then, those who I socialize out of work were invited. The others completely and totally understand. If I invited my entire dept...I would be way over our max and just cannot afford it.