Inviting Cousins

Future Mulligan Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:28 AM

Inviting Cousins

most of our cousins DO NOT have a SO (that we know of anyway) is it okay to invite them without a guest? *if* they want to bring one, its fine by us, but i dont want to invite ALL of them with a guest if we don't have too KWIM? im just wondering if they are going to ask if they can bring one

bluegreen08 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:32 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

how old are they?

MSeed Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:33 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

If you don't know of a SO, you don't have to invite them with one. All of my cousins weddings, before I was with FH I was invited solo

Future Mulligan Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:34 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Posted by bluegreen08

how old are they?

23 to 27

but its weird b/c one them NEVER has dated that we know of - and another hasnt really dated much either - like had 1 boyfriend a few years ago....but then there is one who kind of 'dates' and if we invite him with a guest how can we not invite the others with one too?

Celest Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:34 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Just send the invite with their names. If they contatc you saying they have a significant other to bring you can go from there.
If you put on the invitation '+ guest' on it they will start searching for a date so they do not go alone. & then your guest list grows & grows

bluegreen08 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:37 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Posted by Celest

Just send the invite with their names. If they contatc you saying they have a significant other to bring you can go from there.
If you put on the invitation '+ guest' on it they will start searching for a date so they do not go alone. & then your guest list grows & grows

I agree completely.

FWIW, we invited all of our cousins single. mine were 7, 15, 17, 18, 18, 20... and his were 17, 18, 21. None had a SO, and while my side knew eachother and his side knew eachother they all mingled and hung out together. His 21 cousin hooked up with one of my friends

edit: my one cousin who dates regularly has a new bf every 2 weeks and was the only one in my bridal party. she's 17 and i didnt invite her with a date (she had about 3 new bfs since invites went out, and was single on my wedding day, and she never asked to bring someone).

Future Mulligan Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:37 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Posted by Celest

Just send the invite with their names. If they contatc you saying they have a significant other to bring you can go from there.
If you put on the invitation '+ guest' on it they will start searching for a date so they do not go alone. & then your guest list grows & grows

thats what im saying - i dont want people to start looking for dates or a friend to bring....but i dont want to insult anyone either.....

kmcs317 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:41 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

This has become a huge issue in my family b/c the cousins over the age of 21 were getting insulted that they weren't invited to other family weddings with a guest. I invited everyone in college and above with a guest, even if I KNOW they won't bring someone, I know they've been insulted in the past.

bluegreen08 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:42 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Posted by Future Mulligan

thats what im saying - i dont want people to start looking for dates or a friend to bring....but i dont want to insult anyone either.....

To be honest, that's what I did with my friends. I invited people in a relationship with their SO by name, and everyone else was invited single. We're young and most of our friends are single (totally not seeing anyone) and we didnt want them to start looking for someone random to bring. it would also balloon our guest list out like crazy. there were maybe 20 single guys, 15 single girls and 15 people in relationships there so the singles were the majority. I was also afraid that one friend might bring a girl I really dislike as her date, and once you invite 'and guest' you don't really have a say in who that guest is. I heard through the grapevine that one friend I invited as a single did in fact have a bf that i didn't know of, so I contacted her and let her bring him. everyone had a great time, my friends mingled with DH's friends and our OOT friends (they had never met before) and it was not a problem. seriously

Espo22 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:42 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Posted by Future Mulligan

Posted by Celest

Just send the invite with their names. If they contatc you saying they have a significant other to bring you can go from there.
If you put on the invitation '+ guest' on it they will start searching for a date so they do not go alone. & then your guest list grows & grows

thats what im saying - i dont want people to start looking for dates or a friend to bring....but i dont want to insult anyone either.....

i agree with celest

and not all single ppl will do that. I sent all our single friends and family an invite with 'and guest' MOST of them came alone even though we gave them the option of bringing a guest.

Celest Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:53 AM

Re: Inviting Cousins

Posted by Future Mulligan

Posted by Celest

Just send the invite with their names. If they contatc you saying they have a significant other to bring you can go from there.
If you put on the invitation '+ guest' on it they will start searching for a date so they do not go alone. & then your guest list grows & grows

thats what im saying - i dont want people to start looking for dates or a friend to bring....but i dont want to insult anyone either.....

Can I be completely frank. One thing I learned from my wedding.........
....

....

Don't try to please everyone!!! You are too sweet & while that is a good thing, you will get hurt during this planning stage if you over extend yourself. Do not! Please your immediate family, your FH & yourself. Forget the cousins & extended family. If they are not considerate enough to understand that adding to the headcount add to the cost, that is their problem.

I had a cousin of DH that came up to me and complained about things too, DH wanted to be sure to invite her with her kids. After the wedding her lovely check for the wedding bounced like a rubber ball, & she promised to replace it & never did. She didn't even cover the bounced check fee. So we bent over backwards to oblige her & she now has cost us even more money from our bank account after the fact!

Other cousins, brought their family, & gave tiny gift amount (& while it is not about the gift & I appreciate even getting one, they made a big stink about bringing someone too (didn't even wonder how I was going to pay for it) & made a show to others that they were going to give a gift anyway that would cover everything (I guess putting up a show to other family because I sure didn't ask them for that amount).

All in all don't kill yourself. It is your money. spend it wisely. While I loved my day, it was just one day in our happy life, & you do not want to be bitter after the fact knowing you inviting every jack & jill & then some of them stiff you.

Hope that made sense. I am running on no sleep..lol