Inviting coworkers

How r u going about inviting ur or FH’s coworkers???
From fh’s side there’s no problem he’s working in a very small company but I have a big issue with this.
I’m only working part time because of school but I’ve been at this place for almost 3 years now. I’m leaving about 3 weeks before the wedding and won’t be going back.
There are about 12 people in my department they are all middle aged and we have a very warm but work restricted relationship. My supervisor is a sweetheart and I do want to invite him and another two people. But I don’t know how to go about inviting the rest I mean if I invite one does it mean I need to invite the rest??? And they all know I’m getting married so I can either be like clueless about it. Secretly give the invite to the three people and leave without looking back. Or I can be extra nice and just give out the invites to all of them cuz I do have extra space and extra invites and most of them won’t come anyway.
Pls some advice and ur personal experience with this

IMO being upfront and honest is always the best choice. I am somewhat in the same situation. I'm not sure if I can invite everyone from my department.. it's just too many people. For the ones I can't invite.. I plan on either speaking with them or emailing them (parts of my dept work in other locations)... I will tell them that although I would love to invite the entire dept I just can't due to restrictions on the number of guests. If you are honest and upfront about it they will be able to respect that a lot more than if it was a secret. Truth is they will find out about it eventually and they might be hurt or mad or annoied or not even care about it.. but just to avoid all that it would be nicer if they heard about it from you.

How do u tell them that though? Like stand up and be listen up due to seating limitations I am only inviting a few of u so the rest of u who won’t be getting an invitation pls don’t be offended

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Posted by Kunelsky

How do u tell them that though? Like stand up and be listen up due to seating limitations I am only inviting a few of u so the rest of u who won’t be getting an invitation pls don’t be offended

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If you mail them, how would anyone else ever know? Esp if you tell the ones you are inviting to keep their traps shut! I work in a large company and am only inviting a few. Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel bad

I invited only those co-workers with whom I socialize outside of work, since my wedding is a social non-work event. I don't think you need to explain anything to those you aren't inviting.

I mailed their invitations to their homes (as opposed to hand delivery). I told them that they were the only ones from the office invited and they understood not to blab about it.

Whenever someone else at work asked about my wedding, I usually gave a quick answer and changed the subject. I doubt anyone was offended since they threw me a shower at work, but who knows for sure. I tried to keep the wedding talk to an absolute minimum.

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Posted by Kunelsky

How do u tell them that though? Like stand up and be listen up due to seating limitations I am only inviting a few of u so the rest of u who won’t be getting an invitation pls don’t be offended

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Ha ha... YES! Exactly that... well maybe not exactly... I don't know about standing up to announce it. ha ha.
Do you take lunch with anyone? Do it little by little. just start getting the word out. Maybe even email them. It's nice if you at lease acknowledge that you couldn't invite them and tell them that with a reason why. It's a perfectly legitimate reason for not inviting people... and for the most part they will agree with you. It becomes much more cut throat when it's just everyone talking about who was or wasn't invited behind your back; and you give them the opportunity to do that by not addressing it from the get go. Remember... you aren't coming back to the job.. but you will still be there when the invites go out and for some time afterwards... and you don't ever want to burn your bridges or offend anyone unnecessarily.
I am going to do the same thing.. my office is 5 people but then my department branches out to about 13 people and we are hiring. With dates that's at least 26 people! And my coworkers bring dates too! I can't do that much work people! I would never cut a friend for a coworker to be able to come. So I'm waiting it out.. then when I can see who I can and can't invite.. I'll let them know. I don't want anyone to feel bad but I need to be upfront and honest.
You can call them, email them, speak to them in person. It's not like you aren't inviting them bc you don't like them.. all the blame is on the restriction for the number of people.
Use these words.. I am restricted as to the number of people I can invite, and unfortunately I can't invite all co-workers because there are just too many. I am very very sorry, I don't want you to feel offended or left out in any way. If I had an unlimited guest list then you would totally be invited. I did invite a very small group of people who I have worked with the longest or that I am closest to. (Remember they will know that some people went - so don't say you can't invite ANY co-workers.) But I just couldn't do everyone because there are X number of people in the office. I hope you can understand.

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Posted by Celeste617

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Posted by Kunelsky

How do u tell them that though? Like stand up and be listen up due to seating limitations I am only inviting a few of u so the rest of u who won’t be getting an invitation pls don’t be offended

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If you mail them, how would anyone else ever know? Esp if you tell the ones you are inviting to keep their traps shut! I work in a large company and am only inviting a few. Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel bad

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Yup that’s what I was intending on doing. Just to ask the ones I’m inviting to keep it to themselves because we're having a small wedding with limited seating and I wouldn't want to offend anyone

I think the bigger the company the more likely they will assume they are not invited. The smaller your office or company the more likely they assume they are invited.

Even though invites go to the house.. people at work talk. I find out all sorts of strange things that I probably shouldn't know about. It's a part of office politics. Also, telling those who are invited that you aren't inviting everyone should help.. this way they don't go blabbing it to everyone or talking so openly about it. Keeping the wedding talk to a minimum should help too. I find it hard to do that sometimes though.. they ask me about it! And one co-worker's sister is getting married and she's the MOH... so it comes up in my office.

When one co-worker got married she invited ALMOST everyone.. and people were talking about it. Another one invited 1 person without a guest (bc he didn't have a steady gf) and everyone else had a guest.. he went around talking about it and he was offended too.

If I worked in a huge office with tons of people.. I wouldn't bother telling anyone they aren't invited or why.. but for smaller offices or departments I totally would. Like I said my dept is 13 people.. I know about their lives (married, kids, where they live, etc) because we are such a small department.

i have a lot of people at work that i am NOT inviting. and i've dropped it a few times that we are doing something really small. we are inviting only immediate family and CLOSE friends. no one else. anyone that i don't talk to anymore or don't know we aren't inviting.

so work is only 4 people and if they ask i will be honest about having a small wedding. good luck!!!

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Posted by KerriJohnS

I think the bigger the company the more likely they will assume they are not invited. The smaller your office or company the more likely they assume they are invited.

Even though invites go to the house.. people at work talk. I find out all sorts of strange things that I probably shouldn't know about. It's a part of office politics. Also, telling those who are invited that you aren't inviting everyone should help.. this way they don't go blabbing it to everyone or talking so openly about it. Keeping the wedding talk to a minimum should help too. I find it hard to do that sometimes though.. they ask me about it! And one co-worker's sister is getting married and she's the MOH... so it comes up in my office.

When one co-worker got married she invited ALMOST everyone.. and people were talking about it. Another one invited 1 person without a guest (bc he didn't have a steady gf) and everyone else had a guest.. he went around talking about it and he was offended too.

If I worked in a huge office with tons of people.. I wouldn't bother telling anyone they aren't invited or why.. but for smaller offices or departments I totally would. Like I said my dept is 13 people.. I know about their lives (married, kids, where they live, etc) because we are such a small department.

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Such great advice Kerri. I think that if the subject will come up I will explain about the limited seating thing but I don't see how I can volunteer this information before anyone asks. Also I don't have my supervisor's home address so I think I'll just hand deliver it to his office. So far the wedding planning is not coming up almost at all maybe closer to so when it does I will say something about it being a VERY small wedding