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Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

LizandG Posted:

Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

We are trying to figure out our invitations & save the dates....problem is me & my FH both work together at a small office of about 20 people. He has worked there for 15 yrs & I for 2 yrs. He says its easier if we invite the whole office - but there is at least 1 person who I strongly dislike / don't get along with. Problem is this person is close to my boss & other co-workers. Should I invite the whole office & just not her?? There are maybe 4 people who we go out with after work, but a few people have helped me by giving me hints on where to get a dress, photographer, etc. but I don't necessarily hang out with them & 1 or 2 that invited us to their wedding. FH is worried that if I don't invite everyone or especially this person*&! that they will treat me badly after the wedding & make my life miserable (even though they already try too anyway - invited everyone else to a lunch but me last week :( ) I really do not want this person at my wedding, but find it hard to seperate people at work into groups & too exclude people. Can anyone help?? please!!

Summertimegal424 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

its your wedding i would NEVER invite someone to my wedding i dont like...tough Shlt for them!
futuremrsreilly Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I am in the same boat....I really dislike my boss (president of the comp) and he is inappropriate (especially towards young gals)...I really do not want him at my wedding but all the other girls have invited him in the past. They say he never comes but I am afraid he will come to mine...I really do not want to see his face there! As of right now i only have 3 people from work who i work with directly and I really like. I figure screw it its my wedding and I only want people I love there. Plus FH would HATE it if this man came to the wedding given his past.

However, your situation will be a little differently if you invite everyone except one person...that might be hard because everyone will be talking about it.

Invitation lists are so hard!

ellie424 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

This is a tough situation -- you shouldn't have to invite anyone to your wedding who you strongly dislike....but it can put you in a really weird situation if they are the ONLY person from work that you are not inviting. If there were a few work people that you weren't inviting then it wouldn't be such a big deal because you could say you only invited those who you were closest with. Not inviting only one person from your office could lead to a lot of gossip. If I was in your situation I would probably invite the one person that you don't like just to keep the peace in the office. But it's your wedding so if you really don't want that person there then you are really under no obligation of inviting them.

LizandG Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I know!!! I am just worried that the people I dont invite will resent me for it or expect 2 be invited. I was thinking of maybe leaving out the receptionists since I work in the back office; in addition 2 the coworker who hates me??

ellie424 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!


Posted by LizandG

I know!!! I am just worried that the people I dont invite will resent me for it or expect 2 be invited. I was thinking of maybe leaving out the receptionists since I work in the back office; in addition 2 the coworker who hates me??



I don't think they will resent you for not inviting them...unless you are close with them and end up inviting others and not them. In my office when people get married they only invite the co-workers that they are closest with and also their boss and maybe the director of the department. I think if you didn't invite at least a few people from the office it would be okay because if anyone questioned you then you could say that you only invited the co-workers who you are closest with. But you know your office best...so you will know if everyone expects to be invited. It's so annoying because people don't realize how expensive weddings are and that you can't just invite everyone under the sun!!! People are so misunderstanding sometimes!
cberry109 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I had the same problem...there are 10 women in my department and i cant stand about 6 of them..including supervisor. I HAD to be the better person and invite her...but other than that, I just invited the one's that I'm close to outside of work...otherwise it would have been too crazy to deal with...do you invite them by themselves or with spouses/dates? Thank goodness my supervisor responded NO :)

Good luck. I say just invite who you're close to!
JessNicole7EM Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

Honestly I don't think you can exclude just one person from the guest list.

It's your wedding and you get to choose and you shouldn't have someone you don't like, and all that - but the wedding is for one day ..you are stuck working with these people for way longer than that. Plus people at work talk, as soon as the invites go out this person is going to know you didn't invite them. Frankly I think it would cause more problems then what it's worth.

I am thinking though - if you don't like this person that much, they probably don't like you either. Maybe you'll be really lucky and they just won't come!! (we can hope!)
halfbaked Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I know you've both worked there for awhile but 20 people is a lot of people on the guest list, especially if you start inviting them with guests! I'd just invite the few people you hang out with and maybe the boss. Explain to everyone that as much as you'd love to be able to invite everyone you have to opt for a smaller, intimate event. THen you don't have to invite the person you don't like and they can't complain of hurt feelings.

Tetelove Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I would send invites for the entire office but hopefully that 1 person you dislikes KNOWS that you can't stand her and HOPEFULLY she doesn't even bother to come.
scatteredx12 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

i am inviting my manager, who i really don't like a lot at all. we are nice to each other but i know she doesn't like me and i'm pretty sure she knows i don't like her. we're civil though and i'm inviting her to the wedding with hopes that she won't show... the only reason i'm inviting her is because its gonna look like a huge slap in the face if i don't, because i'm inviting everyone else who works closely with us. she just rsvp'd to my sister today that she can't come to my bridal shower, so i'm hoping the same happens for the wedding. i feel that no one should have to invite someone they don't get along with, but at the same time, sometimes its better to just give in and invite them so you don't cause more trouble... it s*cks and its a really sticky situation... ultimately, i say just do whatever feels right to you.

jcreilly Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I had the same issue I have an office of 10 people I either invite everyone or none decide I would just invite everyone including the person who I can not stand hopping she would not coming well I am lucky because she quit last week thank god because she mad my life living hell at work! Anyway with such a small office it would be easier just to invite the coworker because they may cause drama at work and if that person is close with your boss, maybe they will not show up! Most like they know you are inviting them just be nice

Future Mrs H Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I work with directly with 8 people. One of them I do not talk to unless its work related. I dont say good morning or good nite. I have had alot of problems with her and have just decided not to talk to her at all. I will be inviting everyone else but I am not inviting her to my wedding. I dont think you should invite someone you dont like just because you are inviting other people. Its your wedding. You can do and invite whomever you please

coldasice217 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I was in the same boat...I work in a small office, there are only 7 who work in the office, including the boss's wife. There's 3 outside sales reps, 1 LI based and 2 in PA. I finally invited my coworkers, but only the ones on LI. I don't particularly care for one of the PA reps, and I've only met the other one once, so didn't feel it was appropriate to invite them, and I have enough OOT guests saying no to me, I didn't need to add 2 (4) more! If they ever say anything to me about it I'm going to say just that...nothing personal, just limited myself to LI guests.

AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

Don't feel obligated to invite everyone from your office. I've been at my current job for 2 years and I'm not inviting any of them. I don't see anyone outside of work and if I invite one I'm gonna have to invite all 7 in my dept.

Invite the people who you see outside of work (and your boss lol).
Imo that's all you need to invite.
Tracey1979 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

I would think long and hard before inviting all 20 - if they all bring someone, that's 40 people!

JenBill61210 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

i will be inviting the people i directly work with (which is about 5 people)... you shouldn't be inviting people if you don't like them... if they get offended just tell them you have a guest list to adhere to due to space constraints and budget.

MrsLarrea2B Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

Invite that person. Chances are that person wont come anyway.

twein28 Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

i technically have three people above me...we are not social and we work together and that's it. I have other people I am friendlier with, so I am just not inviting anyone at all from my office. Chances are that if I left here, I wouldnt be friends with them down the road and I want my wedding to be on the smaller side, so I only want people there that I really want.

Iluvpoodles Posted:

Re: Inviting Coworkers you Dislike !! HELP!!

You don't have to invite anyone. I'm not inviting anyone from my office. FH is inviting around 12 or so people. He is close with his coworkers. Mine we only talk if they need something done lol.

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