Has anyone invited a lot of people, thinking that they wouldn't come and they surprise you and say yes? FH started off his guest list with very few people he thought would actually attend. He and his parents moved here from Poland in 1990 and most of his relatives, with the exception of five or six of his dad's cousins who live on Long Island, are all in Poland or spread through Europe.
Well, this weekend, I got the list from his parents with all of the people they are inviting and the ones who will receive the church card only (to serve as an announcement). The list has 44 addresses, 30 of them are actual invites. Most of them are couples, a few are families of four. FH says that of the 65 or 70 people being invited, we would be lucky if 25-30 attend because of VISAS and the expense of getting here (airfare is expensive in June)
I am worried, though. What happens if people decide they can swing it and we end up with too many people in small room. When I told FH's parents that my parents figured we could all invite 50 people (50 for his parents, 50 for my parents, and 50 for FH and me), his mother told me that they needed to invite all of these people even though they wouldn't be attending.
I also don't understand why we are sending all of the reception info to the people who FH has already said will say no. Isn't this just leaving the door open for them to say yes???
Help!!!
xjulietx
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
Posted by september2004
Posted by xjulietx
Vent all you want. This thread was started with my frustrations but I love hearing that others are in the same boat.
Oh yeah, I am also worried that FH's Polish relatives are not going to know what to do with the response card. I think he should type a note explaining what it is and what to do with it. I WANT MY RESPONSE CARDS BACK!!!!!
LOL
I guess it won't help if I told you that the people from Italy did not RSVP for my FSIL and so I expect them to do the same for us
Did they call or e-mail? Or no response at all?
FH will have to write a note explaining the RSVP card and the importance of having it back.
xjulietx
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
Posted by eroxgirl
Oh goodness notes too?!? Thank God my overseas relatives speak English!! (they're in Australia)
I went through this too...and still am! My mother CONTINUES to add my ancient relatives to the list with the promise that they won't come but I know these people - one plans to come to NY and then they all follow!
and somehow I'm back up to 173 on my list - even though it was there at first, then I cut it down to 150 and now its back up again! I think I'm going to be sending my extra guests to babybride's wedding...
Unfortunately, they won't have a place to stay, if they all come. My wedding is the weekend of the U.S. Open out in Shinnecock and we had trouble blocking 10 rooms. If these people come, they will be sleeping in a tent in FH's backyard.
september2004
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
Posted by xjulietx
Did they call or e-mail? Or no response at all?
FH will have to write a note explaining the RSVP card and the importance of having it back.
from what i remember it was up until the very last minute that some 'couldn't decide' and i believe at some point a 'no' was given but the response cards never came back. it may have also been a miscommunication between FMIL and her relatives and my FSIL. i will have no problem calling those who have yet to respond on my side, but i don't envision many (if any) will do this. i think my FMIL felt that asking was a little rude, i don't know though...
my FH wanted his cousin (from Italy) to be a GM and i gave him a cutoff date by 1/1/04. he couldn't give us an answer so we are not making plans for him as a GM. if he shows up (and if anyone will show it will be him) we will include him in some way, but i had to put the breaks on or it would be such a pain to deal...
amyt324
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
I have the same exact issue with Fiance's family from Paraguay. I invited all 40 of them hoping only 10 will come - I've got my fingers crossed too!!
xjulietx
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
I understand why they feel it is necessary to invite these people, but it just makes things feel so up in the air.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
i did the same thing with relatives in poland only then came yikes!! lol
xjulietx
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
I think I need to send them ASAP and I also need to light a fire under FH to make sure he stays in touch with all of these people and his parents call them to remind them to respond.
cluelessbride
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
I think the best you can do is go with the information you have from your FMIL. She's probably right about it. Try not to worry!!
xjulietx
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I feel like I have been worrying way too much. I guess FF&MIL know their family and who can afford this type of trip in June
Marisa&Brian
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
DO NOT bet on people NOT attending- 2 or 3 couples is one thing.- 40 people is another !!!
xjulietx
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
I have tried explaining this to FH and his parents and they all say that these people don't have the money to come here, but they deserve an invitation. I tried to get my mother to side with me, and she agrees with FH's mother: airfare is expensive in June, the family in Poland is not that well off (with the exception of a few) and even if they could afford the trip, they couldn't afford accomodations (and FH's parents can't have them all stay there)
MrHostility
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
We're going to invite people we know won't come. But I'd bet my arm on them saying no, if they say yes I'll worry.
xjulietx
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Re: Inviting guests who you THINK will not come...
I just hate leaving the door open for people to decide 'yes'. It is not that I don't want them to come, but since FH lives in the U.S. and has met my relatives and close family friends, he has a huge advantage. If some of the people who are invited, attend, I will be surrounded by a whole bunch of people who I have never met, who don't speak English and who will want to kiss me three times every time they see me.
