My fiance and I are having a major dilemma! My family is very big and all of my cousins have children, ages ranging from a few months to 17 years old. Some are on my mom's side and some on my dad's. My fiance has one cousin who has 3 kids. That's it. I'm extremely close with my MOH's daughter, 9 years old, who is going to be my JBM. She is the only child I want to invite. My mom's side doesn't want their kids invited because they want a night out, plus their kids aren't the most well-behaved children so I'm totally fine with that. My dad's side is smaller and I'd love to invite those kids but that wouldn't be right so I am not. The problem is my fiance and his mom really wants to invite his cousins kids. They live a few hours away and he says they won't come if kids aren't invited. I don't feel that is our problem. It's putting me in a really awkward spot because I have out of town cousins too and am not inviting their kids. Even though most of my cousins don't want their kids invited, I think they will be a little offended if they see other kids there. I have 20 kids on my side, he has 3. I really don't want to offend either of our cousins. Shouldn't it be all or none? What do we do?? These are not nieces and nephews, their our COUSINS kids!! Help!!
pinkbunny
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Inviting Kids??
Well, if you are only inviting the JBM then I think that is a way around it. How old are these kids? Do these cousins have other relatives that can watch their kids? She is IN your wedding, which is a good reason for why she would be there if others ask.
I was told by an Aunt that my dad's brother won't come to the wedding if we don't invite his three kids (my cousins, all under 5). I am not giving in and explained to her that it is an adult only reception. My family would rather have a night out. We are not inviting anyone under the age of 13 to our wedding. We have his two cousins and then my cousins are 16+ years old. I also have 9 cousins under the age of 8 and I am not inviting them. It is not in my vision of my wedding to have all these little kids running around (which they will because they can't sit still).
db276952
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We have the same issue - I personally do not think most weddings are events for children.
I did not want any kids at my wedding but my FH insisted on inviting his cousins kids so I had to invite my cousins kids. The difference is, my cousins actaully want to enjoy my wedding and not chase after their 4 year olds all night so they will be leaving them with in-laws / babysitters.
My FH grandfather was adamant about us inviting his neice's (MY FH second cousins) with their kids. Appearently, they wouldnt come if their children were not invited. I told him absolutely not and we understood if they could not make it. But seriously, our STD's went out 8 months before our date, find a babysitter or don't come.
natalierose1085
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We are having 5 kids in our wedding party and they are invited to the reception, but no other children are going to be invited. It is very common to have an adult only reception so I think people understand. If they don't it's really not your problem, you shouldn't change everything for just one person, it's your wedding! I think you should really do whatever it is you want, and it sounds like you are being fair so in the end I'm sure no one will end up being mad at you.
emee711
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Inviting Kids??
I totally agree with the fact that it's our wedding and people should respect that! The problem is...my FH and I are not on the same page :( Just not sure how far to push this...
e72071
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I have the same problem on my side of the family. If I were to even invite my 2nd cousins who are older and / or the younger cousins, I'd have too many people and too many kids. So I opted to not include kids. I did however make 1 exception for my BM. She has 2 children (7 and 1) who are VERY well behaved plus there are extenuating circumstances there so that is the ONLY exception. Honestly I'm at the point of it's my decision and I don't need to justify it to anyone. So if anyone has a problem with it too bad. You can't make everyone happy. So do what YOU feel is right for you.
We are only having our FG and RB at the reception (our niece and nephew). That's it. The wedding is 21 and up otherwise, no exceptions. We are doing it this way because FH has many cousins and frankly, it just gets to be too many people on his side because my family is microscopic. You can always say that the only exceptions are the bridal party. You are under no obligation to invite peoples' kids!
Noelle2013
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Only kids that will be at our wedding are my nephews and his nephew..they are all in the wedding.
Diorprincess
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Inviting Kids??
my cousin had no children at his wedding and all his siblings have children and came from out of state. if they can find babysitters come on. anyone who says no to a wedding because they can't bring children need to learn what a babysitter is lol. it's your day and they should want to be there for the wedding no matter what.
and weddings are no place for children! you should say the only exception is bridal party and that's it.
2013Bride
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Honestly you have to draw the line somewhere.... there was no way I was inviting all of my second cousins.... I have 36 between both sides of my family, so there was no way that was happening haha. I personally felt that just my first cousins who I've known forever should be invited... that's it.
LisaReyes
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Re: Inviting Kids??
You're in a tricky situation. If you invite one side, you have to invite the other. I think you should invite all of them. The parents who don't want their kids there will find a babysitter and the ones who want their kids there will have to take care of them all night.
scottsbride
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We are inviting children who are family. We are parents and have no problems with kids being there plus my family is super close and all the kids are close so them not being there seems like part of the family is missing.
Kristin31613
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Re: Inviting Kids??
Posted by emee711
I totally agree with the fact that it's our wedding and people should respect that! The problem is...my FH and I are not on the same page :( Just not sure how far to push this...
Have you made your guest list yet? If not, make it and show him how many more heads you have with these kids and how much more $$$ it will be. Personally I do not think that you can invite one side without the other so add them ALL up and then calculate the cost. I am curious if his tune would change, as well as his moms. It's expensive, even if it's 1/2 price, it adds up quickkk!!!
jassy119
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Re: Inviting Kids??
Posted by LisaReyes
You're in a tricky situation. If you invite one side, you have to invite the other. I think you should invite all of them. The parents who don't want their kids there will find a babysitter and the ones who want their kids there will have to take care of them all night.
This could be a easy solution BUT most ppl after they get a few drinks in them are not going to be on top of their kids watching every move. Kids will be kids and they are going to run around, fight, cry, etc.
If FH really wants them to be there and if you are OK with it otherwise, can you find jobs for them in the wedding party. That way you can say ONLY kids in the wedding party are invited??
For me, we are only having 2 children at the wedding and they are our FG and RG. FG is FH daughter. If it wasn't that he had a daughter there would be NO kids in or at the wedding.
qtgirl109
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For our wedding we just said only kids in the bridal party can attend the reception. This way it covered the kids we would have originally invited. Otherwise it would have been too much and kids would have been running around everywhere!
LilinBobby
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Inviting Kids??
how do you word this in an invite?
2013Bride
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Posted by LilinBobby
how do you word this in an invite?
You just don't include '& Family' on the invites... just 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith'... people SHOULD get the point then.
youmewe
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You have to do what you want...I'm inviting my out of town family with kids because they would not be able to attend otherwise and we really want these family members present. We are not inviting any other kids...I don't really care what anyone thinks and anyone offended on how I choose to do my wedding invite list doesn't have to come....you are not going to please everyone and really have to decide with your FH what you two are comfortable doing...good luck
jassy119
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Posted by 2013Bride
Posted by LilinBobby
how do you word this in an invite?
You just don't include '& Family' on the invites... just 'Mr. & Mrs. Smith'... people SHOULD get the point then.
Unfortunately some ppl won't get this lol
I would also suggest putting 'blank' seats have been reserved for you and fill in the # yourself.
emee711
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Re: Inviting Kids??
That's a really good idea Kristin! I would hope he'd get the point then as it is 20 kids!
