Inviting People that I dont really know (kinda long)

anyone in the same boat?

my parents are paying for the RH - our min is 150 - originally we were going to invite like 180/190 right....
now all of a sudden there's 260 ppl on the list...
my dad has his own business for the past 18 yrs - (construction) and wants to invite some of the people he does business with. People that FH and I dont really know.... (i work for my dad so i know who they are but thats it) so i just feel stupid that there will be people at my wedding that i really dont know.... Is this ok????

PLUS

another similar thing for my shower ----
me & FH met last year March 07 - he lived in CT and moved really quickly here to NY,,, so i dont really know all his friends... I just know the closests oness. I've met the others at parties but thats it. Now for the shower he insisted on inviting the wives & gf's --- but i havent even seen some of these ladies yet - and i feel kinda stupid taht i'll be seeing them for the first time at my shower. and my FH said well you cant just invite two (because i know two well) and not invite the rest b/c then there's going to be gossip and why this and why that & plus if they dont want to come then they dont have to but its a nice gesture....


grrrrr


BTW: the invites for the shower already went out
so its tooo late for anything

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

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i agree that teh shower shoudl be more ppl you kno but if you kinda 'have to' i see that as well...
FFIL has his own company and we have to invite his partners... FMIL doesnt even know these ppl!!!

ehhhh same with my parents and their coworkers that i have never heard about.... i guess its just part of the 'proper thing to do' (my parents are also paying for the RH so i too know how i just gotta let them imvite ppl i dont kno bc they ahve to invite their higherups)

my mother is paying for our reception and FMIL has invited people I have never met. My mom is cool with it. She says it's an opportunity to be showered with more gifts!

my mom is so cool!

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

Yeah i know thats how i felt. (about the shower)
now i feel even stupider (uhh not even a word)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

but then again if the ladies feel like,,,, 'why am i being invited, I dont even know this girl'then they can just RSVP NO right?

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

yea i agree- the wedding invite everyone but the shower I would definatly stick to people you have met before- unless of course you are doing a jack & jill shower & your fh will be there to introduce the people you dont know- otherwise it will be just as awkward for them as it is for you hth

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

i agree that teh shower shoudl be more ppl you kno but if you kinda 'have to' i see that as well...
FFIL has his own company and we have to invite his partners... FMIL doesnt even know these ppl!!!

ehhhh same with my parents and their coworkers that i have never heard about.... i guess its just part of the 'proper thing to do' (my parents are also paying for the RH so i too know how i just gotta let them imvite ppl i dont kno bc they ahve to invite their higherups)

---

I knwo and my parents are like - these are the people that are going to give 'nice'gifts
thank goodness for that
(jk)

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Posted by gabbie83

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

Yeah i know thats how i felt. (about the shower)
now i feel even stupider (uhh not even a word)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

but then again if the ladies feel like,,,, 'why am i being invited, I dont even know this girl'then they can just RSVP NO right?

---

yeah def.. bc if they go they kno they will feel REALLY out of place bc if they dont kno you then they dont kno the others there as well and will be asked ALLL day.. who are you ? how do u kno so and so...

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Posted by gabbie83

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

Yeah i know thats how i felt. (about the shower)
now i feel even stupider (uhh not even a word)
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

but then again if the ladies feel like,,,, 'why am i being invited, I dont even know this girl'then they can just RSVP NO right?

---

Definitely they can say no. I would feel like you too. Also, I would feel like, I don't even know these girls so I feel like I'm soliciting shower gifts. Maybe try that point with your FH and see what he says. Then maybe he'll see your point and say you don't have to invite them?

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Posted by gabbie83

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

i agree that teh shower shoudl be more ppl you kno but if you kinda 'have to' i see that as well...
FFIL has his own company and we have to invite his partners... FMIL doesnt even know these ppl!!!

ehhhh same with my parents and their coworkers that i have never heard about.... i guess its just part of the 'proper thing to do' (my parents are also paying for the RH so i too know how i just gotta let them imvite ppl i dont kno bc they ahve to invite their higherups)

---

I knwo and my parents are like - these are the people that are going to give 'nice'gifts
thank goodness for that
(jk)

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OMG how many times have i HEARD THAT! they are my partners/ boss/ head honcho... they will be generous... and im thinking yeah WONDERFUL... but i dotn even kno what they LOOK like!

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by missliss

As far as the wedding, if your parents are paying for it all, and they want these people there, then I think you have to be ok with it. We're paying for it all ourselves so we had a little stronger hand in who made the cut and who didn't (since it was our money paying for them to be there)....but even still there were people that our parents said 'had' to be invited even though we didn't know them very well.

I think the shower should just be people that are close to you.....but every situation is different.

Sorry, I'm not much help huh?

---

yea i agree- the wedding invite everyone but the shower I would definatly stick to people you have met before- unless of course you are doing a jack & jill shower & your fh will be there to introduce the people you dont know- otherwise it will be just as awkward for them as it is for you hth

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this is when i wish the earth opens up and swallows me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its tooo late now!!!
this is why i love my FH - he puts me in these great scnearios!!!!!!!

IM SO STUPID
I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS POST 2 WEEKS AGO


BEFORE THE INVITES WENT OUT

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ITS TOOOOOOOOOOO LATE NOW!!!!

WELL THEY ALL KNOW EACH OTHER SO IF THEY COME THEN ATLEAST THEY'LL SIT TOGETHER YOU KNOW?



BUT THERE ARE ABOUT 5 THAT I HAVENT SEEN IN MY LIFE - AND I KNOW 2 ARE DEF NOT COMING....

THE REST IVE MET AND SPOKEN WITH (SO I GUESS ITS NOT THAT BAD)
RIGHT?

SOMEONE PLEASE LIE TO ME AND TELL ME YEA

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Posted by gabbie83

IM SO STUPID
I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS POST 2 WEEKS AGO


BEFORE THE INVITES WENT OUT

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ITS TOOOOOOOOOOO LATE NOW!!!!

WELL THEY ALL KNOW EACH OTHER SO IF THEY COME THEN ATLEAST THEY'LL SIT TOGETHER YOU KNOW?



BUT THERE ARE ABOUT 5 THAT I HAVENT SEEN IN MY LIFE - AND I KNOW 1 IS DEF NOT COMING....

THE REST IVE MET AND SPOKEN WITH (SO I GUESS ITS NOT THAT BAD)
RIGHT?

SOMEONE PLEASE LIE TO ME AND TELL ME YEA

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yea... !

listen they are invited ok ok fine.. no biggie! hey you may end up loving them! they will either feel lonely or know ppl... no worries... everythign will be fine.

well its no biggie now since the invites went out. but since fh and i are paying for our own wedding we had a strong hand on who was invited and not. of course we asked both our parent who they wanted to be there and who had to be there and what work friends. my mom works in a very small doctors office and invited all the co-workers which came out to 10 people. I was ok with this i guess because I have met them all before but FMIL invited about the same amount and i only met one couple (because she decided to invite them to our e-party last summer which we paid for sd well without telling us nice i know) but since your parents are paying no sweat you dont have to shell out the money and you will be getting some back anyway haha a few nice extra presents!

as for the shower- i think it is usually close family. like my fmil's work friends are NOT invited because they ditched my FBILs wedding last year even though they came to the shower and rsvped to his wedding as YES. so i am only telling my mom to invite people on my list haha

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by gabbie83

IM SO STUPID
I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS POST 2 WEEKS AGO


BEFORE THE INVITES WENT OUT

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
ITS TOOOOOOOOOOO LATE NOW!!!!

WELL THEY ALL KNOW EACH OTHER SO IF THEY COME THEN ATLEAST THEY'LL SIT TOGETHER YOU KNOW?



BUT THERE ARE ABOUT 5 THAT I HAVENT SEEN IN MY LIFE - AND I KNOW 1 IS DEF NOT COMING....

THE REST IVE MET AND SPOKEN WITH (SO I GUESS ITS NOT THAT BAD)
RIGHT?

SOMEONE PLEASE LIE TO ME AND TELL ME YEA

---

yea... !

listen they are invited ok ok fine.. no biggie! hey you may end up loving them! they will either feel lonely or know ppl... no worries... everythign will be fine.

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tHANKS!!! my friend at work just told me 'LISTEN ITS BETTER TO MEET THEM BEFORE THE WEDDING ANYWAY'
uhhhh.... yeah i know ---
but atleast they all know each other soooo it wont be that bad (if they decide to show up)

Dont worry!!!!!!! its a nice gesture to invite them to the shower, and its their choice to come!!!!!!!

I am of the belief that no one person will know everyone at the wedding!!!!! once you add in you fathers cousins kids wives..... so thats normal. and hey if your not paying for it, tell them to bring a friend (as long as they all bring a gift

I think it would be good to meet the girls at the shower. And they wont be alone b/c the other girls you do know will be there. IMO its better than meeting them at the wedding.

As for the wedding ppl you dont know..I have the same issue...my parents are inviting work friends who i never met and FILs are inviting ppl even fh hasnt seen since he's like 13.

But it wont matter.. your dad will probably intro you for a minute and thats it.

With 150 ppl there you wont notice 20 ppl that you dont know.

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

I think it would be good to meet the girls at the shower. And they wont be alone b/c the other girls you do know will be there. IMO its better than meeting them at the wedding.

As for the wedding ppl you dont know..I have the same issue...my parents are inviting work friends who i never met and FILs are inviting ppl even fh hasnt seen since he's like 13.

But it wont matter.. your dad will probably intro you for a minute and thats it.

With 150 ppl there you wont notice 20 ppl that you dont know.

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thanks

If your Father has friends and work associates he wants to invite, i think that is great, especially if he is covering the cost of the RH...i mean that still means, you have to spend more money on invites, centerpieces, favors, etc.

But think how happy your dad will be knowing that he got to invite his friends.

One thing when i started wedding planning, was i told
my parents and FH's parents to invite whoever they wanted...It doesnt bother me at all, that i may not know some people there. I feel that if they come they are coming to support my parents/FH's parents...and in return, will be invited to their kids weddings as well.

I really wouldnt sweat it.