If the bride or groom does not have a personal outside-work relationship with their boss, and has even had attitude issues with them from time to time, are they still expected to invite them to the wedding?
Also, if they don't invite the boss but they invite another co-worker that is a friend, would that look bad?
So far, we did not invite anyone that we felt 'required' to invite. Everyone on the list is someone we're looking forward to seeing. My fiance worries about appearances and I don't that much.
Anyway, thanks in advance for your opinion!
cindyandkevin
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Re: Inviting the boss?
We invited our bosses, out of respect and also bc we want them to be there. We met at work so it's kind of like a TY for us getting together, you know.
I would invite them if you're inviting anyone else from work. Most likely they'll respond no if you don't have a good relationship with them. But to snub them could be worse in the long run.
M&LSept1606
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I'm inviting co-workers and not one of my bosses(I have three). I don't think he would want to come, and I only invited people I would hang out with outside of work.
dianadrw
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I can only tell you my own experience. One of my employees, whom I was very friendly with, got married last year and invited a few people from the office. I was not one of them. I felt slightly offended considering that I am his boss. And I have to be honest, I haven't really looked at him the same since. What can I say? I hold a grudge.
With that being said, you should really do whatever you feel is right. If I really disliked my boss, I wouldn't want mine there either.
MrsC2b
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Re: Inviting the boss?
Well my fiance is not inviting his boss b/c he works for a school district ... i am inviting my bosses .... i couldnt see myself not inviting my bosses i have worked for them for 8 years...
ali120206
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Re: Inviting the boss?
If you are inviting someone from work, you should at least extend the invitation to your boss.
At this point, I don't think I'm going to invite anyone from work. I've been with the same company for 7 1/2 years and have worked with a lot of the same people and have jumped in between 5 different bosses (4 of which are still with the company).
MrsWmson2be
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I invited both of my bosses and both said no. I felt it was better to at least extend the invitation than to have them know I'm getting married and didn't invite them. Though I have to admit, I know they'd say no anyway. Like you said, it's about appearances. FH invited his boss and his boss hasn't even responded!
SeptBride70
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Re: Inviting the boss?
i'm inviting my boss b/c i love him so much but there are other people in the office that i'm not close with and i'm not inviting... then there are a few that i am b/c i am closer with them than just work... it all depends on who you feel are your friends b/c that's who you are going to want at your wedding...
my co-worker teresa just got married in january and she invited some but not others, she's like if i dont know them besides work and we never talk and they are not my 'friends'' then why should i? so do what you and fh feel is right... HTH
MissingTheBGene
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I think that you should should invite whomever you want to be there. I did invite my bosses because I have been with the company for a long time but I really feel that if you do not want them there, then you do not have to invite them.
CLMon7906
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Re: Inviting the boss?
Posted by cindyandkevin
We invited our bosses, out of respect and also bc we want them to be there. We met at work so it's kind of like a TY for us getting together, you know.
I would invite them if you're inviting anyone else from work. Most likely they'll respond no if you don't have a good relationship with them. But to snub them could be worse in the long run.
i kind of agree. (we didn't meet at work though. )
You can invite bosses and not co-workers or some co-workers and not others, but when you snub the boss, it's kind of rude.
R&J0806
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Re: Inviting the boss?
we invited our bosses.
greenfreak
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I want to thank everyone for your information and advice! I wanted to explain the situation a little better, I didn't do that good of a job before!
My FH has worked for his boss for less than 4 months and mine was a coworker for 5 years and now boss for 5 months. Both know of the impending wedding and have extended no kind words or questions of a personal nature. I doubt they even know the impending spouse's name. I'm lucky if I get a 'good morning' because most of the time I don't even get that.
I feel our wedding is about one thing and one thing only: celebrating our love for each other with a lifetime commitment and sharing that celebration with the loved ones in our lives.
I vowed I would not lose sight of that in all our preparations, bowing to pressure about how anyone else thinks things 'should' be done. And so far, it has been a wonderful experience with less than 2 months to go!
I just dislike the idea of turning this event into something it's not; full of requirements and expectations for everyone except the two people who really matter. Especially considering the lack of relationship with the bosses.
Anyway, I just wanted to explain a little bit more, and say thanks again for the feedback. This place is great with the instant gratification for all your questions!! :D
MrsWmson2be
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Re: Inviting the boss?
Given your position, I wouldn't invite them if I were you. I work in a small office and mine were always asking questions about my wedding and my FH etc. so I kind of felt compelled even though I've been here less than a year myself. I think you're better off going with your gut. Bosses, IMO, should be invited on a case-by-case basis and shouldn't be subject to a general etiquette rule.
CLMon7906
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I see your point, but that gruff, rare hello could get worse........you did clarify things a bit better......just be careful inviting anyone from work when you don't invite the boss...cause it could/will get back to them and just not be pretty for you....not trying to scare you or tell you what to do.....you'll find the right answer. good for you for not caving to pressure!!
hsacks23r
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Re: Inviting the boss?
we invited my supervisor and 3 other girls from my office My supervisor declined
siobhanB
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I think if you're only planning on inviting one coworker, who you are good friends with, than you don't have to invite your boss. Just explain the situation to your friend, and ask them to not mention your wedding invite to anyone at work.
If you are having a small personal thing, not inviting 'everyone' than you shouldn't have to include your boss 'just because'. JMO
AlliNMatt06
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Re: Inviting the boss?
No, I don't think you are required to invite your boss. I am not inviting mine, and it doesn't bother me. I hardly see them at work, ( I work over nights). Plus I only have a work relationship with them. I am thinking about inviting my Night supervisor, since I am friends with her. You only invite people who mean something to you.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Inviting the boss?
DH and I both invited our bosses, out of courtsey. his boss came, mine didn't - and didn't even give us so much as a card
suven
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Re: Inviting the boss?
I invited my boss and I wish I didn't...she didn't even mail in the RSVP, nor did she even give me a card.
All it did was build ill will from me
sr081906
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Re: Inviting the boss?
You don't need to invite your boss. Your personal life has nothing to do with your professional life.
I only invited mine because we are on 'friendly' terms.
