Inviting the boss?

I think that you have ton consider what is best for you. I am inviting my manager and director but I talk to both of them. Don't hang out with either of them but there is also a generation gap.

Both have been very supportive of my relationship and fast forward wedding planning. I wouldn't dream of not inviting them!

A lot of you sound like you have great bosses! Are there any job openings?!? That's great.

About my other co-worker being invited... She asked her mom to invite me to her baby shower and I was the only work person invited. She wanted that to be between us, and we both kept it that way. She has been very supportive and helpful from the start with the wedding plans. I'm really glad I have someone at work who I can share that with.

FH and I work for the same company, and actually do the exact same job...He is inviting his boss (who we both get along with very well) and I'm not inviting my boss (because I friggin hate him). I realize it's probably rude, but I don't care....

I don't think bosses expect to be invited anymore, and I don't want people there that I don't like...

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Posted by siobhanB

I think if you're only planning on inviting one coworker, who you are good friends with, than you don't have to invite your boss. Just explain the situation to your friend, and ask them to not mention your wedding invite to anyone at work.

If you are having a small personal thing, not inviting 'everyone' than you shouldn't have to include your boss 'just because'. JMO

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I agree. If you were inviting a whole bunch of people from the office, then I think you'd have to invite the boss, but if you're only inviting a close friend or two, I see no reason why you should feel obligated to invite the boss.

I wish there were more people at work that could be considered friends that I would invite but alas! There isn't! *shrug*

As someone mentioned, it is actually a small affair. We looked at a lot of reception places but we couldn't guarantee 100 people. At this point, I have to guarantee 75 adults and I'm wondering if we will even have that many. My 7 nieces and nephews (my wedding party) will only be half price if I make the room minimum with adults.

So it really is a more intimate affair. So having one or two 'bad apples' would be noticeable!

I think you are okay since your coworker is willing to keep it to herself and asked you to do the same for her shower. You're lucky!!! I am inviting one coworker and don't feel I can ask her to keep it quiet... bc I know people expect she would be invited bc we're close and would ask her directly. I don't feel I can ask her to lie and she hasn't offered... so, I am stuck inviting my boss! Hard decision for me to make, but it's a small dept and we've all worked together for 7-8 yrs. I just don't think I can get away with inviting my colleague and not him. It would definitely cause an issue...

Good luck!!!!!!!!!

mka, you're not really asking her to lie. You would just be asking her to not go out of her way to talk about it. If someone asks, she could be honest but if not, she could just keep it to herself. You could explain that you don't want others to feel bad about not being invited. I hope it works out ok, and doesn't cause a rift with anyone else.

A girl who used to work here invited my old boss (who I would have never invitied; he was the biggest jerk!) but she did it out of respect.

He responded yes for two people and when the day of the wedding came, he never showed!

So she paid for 2 plates that didn't get eaten and received no gift, card, or check from him.

His excuse? He had no clean clothes to wear.

I kid you not. It was appalling.

I invited my boss because it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, Memorial Day Weekend is 'bad for her' and she will not be attending. She will 'try' to make it to the church to see me in my dress.

We are inviting people from his job because FH was advised that it would be in his best interest to do so. As a result we actually had to move a few couples to the B-list.

I inivted all bosses (never know when you may need someoen) and some people get very sensitive about this things (I know that my boss only goes if it can be beneficial to him, if he can get something out of it...disgusting!) and he's a non-gift giver (so, I've heard!)

Invite!

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Posted by greenfreak

mka, you're not really asking her to lie. You would just be asking her to not go out of her way to talk about it. If someone asks, she could be honest but if not, she could just keep it to herself. You could explain that you don't want others to feel bad about not being invited. I hope it works out ok, and doesn't cause a rift with anyone else.

A girl who used to work here invited my old boss (who I would have never invitied; he was the biggest jerk!) but she did it out of respect.

He responded yes for two people and when the day of the wedding came, he never showed!

So she paid for 2 plates that didn't get eaten and received no gift, card, or check from him.

His excuse? He had no clean clothes to wear.

I kid you not. It was appalling.

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You're right -- I'm not asking her to lie. I've already asked her not to say anything (and she's kept her word). But - several people have already asked her at this point if she is invited, so I know they will defintely ask her closer to and afterward! I feel like I am kind of stuck. My wedding is out of state from where I work, so I'm thinking the odds of a yes reply and then a no show with my boss are slim. Plus, he's not the type to do that. I think if he replies yes, he will be there. If no, that's 2 more open seats for us to invite someone else!

Thanks for your advice though! I appreciate it!!

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Posted by MayBride06

I invited my boss because it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, Memorial Day Weekend is 'bad for her' and she will not be attending. She will 'try' to make it to the church to see me in my dress.

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so nice of her to 'try'

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Posted by siobhanB

I think if you're only planning on inviting one coworker, who you are good friends with, than you don't have to invite your boss. Just explain the situation to your friend, and ask them to not mention your wedding invite to anyone at work.

If you are having a small personal thing, not inviting 'everyone' than you shouldn't have to include your boss 'just because'. JMO

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I am glad you said that. I am having a small wedding and not inviting my three bosses, even though I love them, or at least two of them. I do, however, have a dilemma. I have two coworkers that I think SHOULD be invited, one I have known for years from another job and the other I hung out with a couple of times outside of work. HELP!

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Posted by johnsae

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Posted by MayBride06

I invited my boss because it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, Memorial Day Weekend is 'bad for her' and she will not be attending. She will 'try' to make it to the church to see me in my dress.

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so nice of her to 'try'

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What's better...is that I have been working for the company for 8 years!! She didn't even give me a reason...just that it is Memorial Day weekend! Um hello???? I know that! Don't even bother making it to the church!

I think a lot of it depends on your relationship with your boss. My boss tries not to associate too much with his staff outside of work since it's pretty structured at my company. He's really nice, we joke around from time to time, but I may feel uncomfortable letting loose with him there. I wouldn't consider him a friend, but it's not that I wouldn't want him there, I just feel like it would be inappropriate even asking him because we're not 'that' close.

I guess a lot of it depends on where you work. I work for a big company that employs 50,000+, so there's a definitive line between 'who's who.' I guess at a smaller company there may be more pressure to invite your boss and coworkers. But still, do what you want. They'll get over it

i have two jobs. the first job is a teaching job and i just started it. i am not inviting anyone from there.

the other job is a restuarant job which i have worked at for about 7 years, with a few months missing here and there. i would like to invite a few people that i work with, but i cant pick and choose. as for my boss there, i just dont really like him, so why invite him? he has made a few snide remarks about my wedding anyway.

also my wedding is small- with family and close friends only.