Involving FMIL

KroertGS Posted: Sep 17, 2012 02:41 PM

Involving FMIL

My MIL and I have a good relationship...we talk, we're civil, respectful, etc...but we're not close and I don't agree with many things that she does. FH has expressed that she wants to be involved in the planning. I said we could take her for limos, invitations, that kind of thing. He said she would like to be a part of the 'girlier' stuff like my dress, shoes, hair, makeup ...the 'bride' details. I don't want to share this with her.

To what extent are you all involving you MILs, and what are some ways I can include her to make her feel involved without divulging too much?

Shanti12 Posted: Sep 17, 2012 03:34 PM

Re: Involving FMIL

Ahh I just posted the same kind of thing!
Yeah it's driving me nuts.
FMIL said she wants to 'be involved' to FH... but I had already gone dress shopping with my mom and I'm probably getting shoes and my headpiece online sooo... that's done with .
I'm trying to take into consideration that she wants to come to stuff but I've decided that scheduling everyone is too hard, so I'll make appts for me and FH and my mom works from home so she's usually free, and if FMIL can come then great. Otherwise I'm not stressing.
I wouldn't have minded her to come to get my dress but I would not have taken her opinion too seriously, my mom's opinion comes first since she knows my style the best.
If you aren't comfortable, the dress and shoes is a big personal thing so do what feels right! Take her to florists, etc!

mattandjess2013 Posted: Sep 17, 2012 04:41 PM

Involving FMIL

I invited my FMIL to go dress shopping with me but she ended up being sick. I'm including her just by keeping her informed. She lives in NJ & doesn't drive so a lot of stuff she can't meet for anyway.

angelicd77 Posted: Sep 17, 2012 05:58 PM

Involving FMIL

I have tried to include FMIL with as much as possible and shes made it damn near IMPOSSIBLE. I invited her and FSIL (BM) to come see my dress. Took over 2 months before it was convenient for the 2 of them. Then with the BM dresses. Same thing. They always say their gonna come and then bail morning of. FILS are paying for our limo so I wanted to make sure that I booked the apt time when she would be available. Well PS day of guess what she did... BACK OUT! Shocking I know... At this point I'm not saying boo to her or FSIL. FSIL will get a date and time as to when we are ordering the dresses and if she shows up great. If not.. too damn bad. Im done trying to involve them. They say they want to be involved and then bail every time so to me that says they dont really want to be and that they feel like they HAVE to be. I told FH to tell them to save themselves the stress. Im not telling them anything anymore.