Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Original post by pbscutie

Dec 13, 2004 06:05 PM

So I went shopping this weekend and fell in love with a great BM dress. It was $236. I was like - ok don't worry RK, bridesave, netbride or somewhere will have it cheaper.

After searching for hours on the internet, I could not find Alvina Valenta dresses anywhere cheaper! I feel bad having to ask my girls to pay close to $300 (tax & altering) for the dress.

Should I keep looking? Should I offer to pay for the altering? It is driving me crazy b/c I know that if I had to spend that much I probably wouldn't be happy. Any advice would help!

Here's a pic of the dress

LIBrideinBWI Posted: Dec 14, 2004 05:54 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Posted by jgasparian

mine were 200! but what can you do, if the dress is beatiful and they can wear it again, why not? being a bridesmaid is not a cheap responsiblity.

But agreeing to be a bridesmaid shouldn't break the bank either....

I have to be honest - yes, BM dresses are very important, and we want everything to be perfect, but it's OUR wedding, not there's.
Personally, I would be pissed at having to spend that much on a dress that I'll probably never wear again. Yes, those dresses are VERY pretty, but no, I'd never wear it again - just like I will never wear the closet-full of bridesmaids dresses that I was TOLD '....and you can actually wear it again!'

If you love the dresses that much, and are dead set against finding a 'cheaper' version, then I would offer to split the cost with them.

JMHO(all this coming from the girl that just dropped a few grand on a gown she'll wear for one day)

Amy

galbano Posted: Dec 14, 2004 07:41 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

fairy Posted: Dec 15, 2004 12:39 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Rk Bridal doesn't carry Alvina Valenta dresses. I am thinking of a dress by AV too. There is a store in Northern NJ called Nonchalance that carries them. They discount all their dresses and will also give you a group discount. I know it's pretty far but if you really want the dress, go check them out.

Good luck!

bluesashbride Posted: Dec 15, 2004 01:07 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

i'd ask your BMs! they know what they can do. i'd also adjust other things you ask of them, like paying for hair, shoes, etc, based on if they are all traveling for your wedding and the cost of the dress. you may have to sacrifice stuff like matching shoes in order to have a more expensive dress...JMO

nylibride Posted: Dec 15, 2004 01:50 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

I'd agree with a lot of the other girls--have an honest discussion with your girls, but it does kind of seem like a lot ot spend on a dress that you likely won't get to wear again. Good luck.

CubanBride Posted: Dec 15, 2004 01:56 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Mine wouldn't be afford it either. Theirs were about $150.

eogara Posted: Dec 15, 2004 01:59 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

I don't know if mine could have afforded it but I never would have asked them to. Theirs were $162 and I felt bad about that!

CubanBride Posted: Dec 15, 2004 02:04 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Posted by eogara

I don't know if mine could have afforded it but I never would have asked them to. Theirs were $162 and I felt bad about that!

Tell me about it. I felt so bad I paid for the FG dress, cause she is the daughter of my MOH, who also has another daughter in the wedding. Sheesh.

Marisa M Posted: Dec 15, 2004 02:33 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

No it's not too much .
Especially because it's something they can wear again. - I've paid a LOT more for ridiculous looking gowns that I would never and could never wear again. - They got donated for proms.........
And honestly, that really isn't that much money - How much would you spend if you had to buy a dress for someone's wedding ? Unless you found some major sale, you're be paying at least $200 !

leighdvm Posted: Dec 15, 2004 02:42 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

To be honest, I think it's alot. I wouldn't want to have to pay that much if it was me. I found a dress I loved by Jordan and can get it for $97 on netbride.com. My girls are so appreciative that I took their finances into account.

nylibride Posted: Dec 15, 2004 02:55 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Posted by Marisa M

And honestly, that really isn't that much money - How much would you spend if you had to buy a dress for someone's wedding ? Unless you found some major sale, you're be paying at least $200 !

I have to disagree, I think $236 is 'that much money' to a lot of people. As for paying at least $200 dollars for a dress for a wedding if you're not in the wedding party, again, I just don't agree. My favorite red, silk, strapless dress that I bought for my sister's 2nd wedding from Ann Taylor was even less than that.

May05Bride Posted: Dec 15, 2004 02:57 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

for my Bridemaids, yes...
If I were a bridemaid, than also yes..

But if yu have a bunch of rich bridemaids, than no

Marisa M Posted: Dec 15, 2004 03:59 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

Talk to your BMs about it. -
Mine were fine w/ a $300 gown. - But I wasn't comfortable asking them to pay that - My BMs gowns are by Lazaro, $210 from Bridal Reflections.....
They were also fine w/ the price b/c they knew I wasn't going to pick a 'typical' BM gown. - It's black, strapless and pretty plain. - They can wear it for the next 20 years........

But honestly, when you agree to be a BM, you know there is a huge financial obligation. Maybe I sound like a snob, but I have laid out more money than I can think of - Even if it wasn't the best time, or I didn't 'have it' I slapped down the Visa b/c it was a close friend or family member and it was worth it to me to spend the money for them.....

cocoa Posted: Dec 15, 2004 04:46 PM

Re: Is $236 too much for a BM dress?

i let my girls pick out their dresses for this reason. not saying that was the best thing to do, but one of my bm could afford to spend $$$ on her dress but she wound up wearing the same dress from her sister's wedding which turned out to be the dress i looooooooved. the others were broke and 2 got dresses for $30 and $50. that was what they could afford and they were able to find dresses taht were awesome but affordable. i did this b/c i was in a wedding and dress/shoes/ alterations were almost $400...that was way tooooooo much for me!