is a child-free wedding rude?

I have a very large family, and I am thinking about having a 15 yr old cutoff age, that would leave 27 of my first cousins out, I feel bad some of the little girls are so excited about the wedding, I know there are going to be tears when they are not invited. I read the best way to go about it is to not make an exceptions, but I am close to these girls(age 10,9,7) My FI family is coming from Massachusettes, I don't know any of them, so I am not torn with there kids, but what if them come to the wedding and see my little cousins, I think they would be upset. I don't know what to do, I would invite them by adding 27 more people to the head count, even if it is discounted, is still a lot of money. Help

is a child-free wedding rude?

My husband has 17 neices and nephews, half of whom are under age 12. We made the cutoff 12 years old, no ifs, ands or buts. Most people understand and I don't think it is rude at all. But if you want to make an exception, I think its probably only fair to allow everyone to bring kids, not just your side of the family, especially if it might cause hard feelings. Usually kids under 12 are charged half price. Could be that the ones who are left out are so young that they will forget about not being invited pretty quickly. We did have all the kids at the church which was nice - you can include them at the ceremony if it is logistically possible.

is a child-free wedding rude?

Thanks Lee, the politics of the situation also bother me. My cousins who are of age will be there, most of them are rarely speak with. I would love to replace them with my little cousins. But i think I will have to come up with a no exception policy.

is a child-free wedding rude?

I dont think it's rude at all. People understand (or should) the expense factor. Besides I think a lot of Moms and Dads want a night out on their own. One of my cousins told me not to invite her kids because she didn't want to bring them.

is a child-free wedding rude?

I also want my wedding child-free, but it is hard and you have to make exceptions. For example, My three flower girs age 4&5 will be there, one of them includes my daughter. Also my sisters are coming from Florida and have noone to watch their kids, since the whole family will be at the wedding. So their kids will be there also. I put a note in every invitation NO CHildren Please. I am not sure how some people are going to take it when they see some children there. But my ceremony and reception are at the same place, what else can I do.

we are having no children too!

We are also having no children under the age of 15- except for the ring bearer and flower girl. On the invitations we are only going to write mr and mrs. x or mr. x and guest. I have had my parents try and spread the word to all of their family so there is no mis-understandings. Good luck!

is a child-free wedding rude?

No, it is not rude at all. Some parents actually appreciate it b/c it gives them an excuse for a grown-up night out. Be prepared, though, to have some people decline the invitation. Perhaps you can arrange to have a sitter watch the children while the parents are at the reception.

is a child-free wedding rude?

the most common age cutoff that I have heard is at 18 or 21. and yeah, some people might have issues with it, but it is your day, you make the decision that is best for you guys.

It`s not rude, it`s your wedding...

We`re having 19 kids (by choice) - 6 are in the wedding party. There are 2 infants 8 & 10 mos. who *may* not come, and the rest are 6 1/2 to 14. Our wedding is also a Sunday afternoon, and kids are 1/2 price, although, I couldn`t imagine not having them there even if it was a Saturday night and full price. Don`t feel guilty, just be consistent and no one will be offended. Good luck! :)

It`s not rude, it`s your wedding...

Just got a call from my FH and he says that one of his family members is upset because they got the invitation and the card I put in that said No Children Please. They can't understand why the kid can't sit on their lap. To me it is an adult affair, I don't want my wedding to be a day care center. I want to enjoy myself without having to see children run wild. I know they will decline, but that would just be spiteful. Anyway I am sticking to my guns. NO CHILDREN!

It`s not rude, it`s your wedding...

I don't think its rude - my FI wanted children there (his nieces and nephew + others) so I'm inviting my side as well (consistent)...when I was young 5 of us were not invited to a first cousins wedding (we were all under 12) we were very upset, but our parents put us all together got a babysitter and we had a better time than we would've at the wedding for sure...we still talk about it...so maybe arrange something like that for the parents...

is a child-free wedding rude?

Absolutely not..In fact, it is usually expected at a evening wedding. I am not really a 'child' person and there are only a few kids in the family & friend area. We actually printed the words 'Adult Reception' on our response cards to re-emphasize the point. We can't really make exceptions for anyone b/c then other individuals w/children who don't bring them will get angry. The last thing I want is a crying baby in the church and at my reception!

I hope it's not rude, because my cutoff was 18 yrs old! *NM*

Certainly it is a personal choice.

I have a large family with many nieces and nephews to whom I am very close. They are all invited and I will be thrilled to have them there. They range in age from 2-15. However that is my choice. Many people feel that children are disruptive during a wedding and that having them there will ruin their day. If you feel that way I see nothing wrong with specifying 'Adult Reception' on the invitation. Those with children who cannot find a sitter or are from out of town and don't have anyone they trust to watch their child,will decline, but that I think is understandable. You have to do what is best for you and what will make you happy.