Is anyone else pretty Zen about the guets list?

no, not zen.... and even tho i AM having a 50,000 wedding....yes, 500 STILL does matter.

wait until you get a month out and people invite random people to your wedding.....or you FH forgot to invite someone and now says that he'll regret it forever....

i've learned it's easy to be zen when the shite isn't hitting the fan yet!!!

Girl, I am zen about it ALL



it's one day out of my life, no stressing allowed for me

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Posted by marymoon

It's a lot at my hall too, but there's so muhc conflict already, I guess I'd rather have peace than money

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If you have it, then go for it and invite the extra people without worry.

We're paying for everything completely on our own, but I invited all the adults 'with guest' because I know I HATED getting invited without one, but I think the YOUNGEST person at my wedding will be 25, so I guess I'm half a zen bride

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Posted by evnme

we are paying for the wedding ourselves, so every guest counts for us.... we're not inviting any children and not everyone is being invited w/ a guest.

i guess i'm not a zen bride!

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i definately was not a ZEN bride with the guest list. FH was was a ZEN groom. For us, it wasn;t a matter of a few people. If we let every single person bring a date that would add another 80+ guests... random people? We already have 215 at the wedding. I've been to some out of control weddings and i don't want random strangers at the wedding.

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Posted by leese

no, not zen.... and even tho i AM having a 50,000 wedding....yes, 500 STILL does matter.

wait until you get a month out and people invite random people to your wedding.....or you FH forgot to invite someone and now says that he'll regret it forever....

i've learned it's easy to be zen when the shite isn't hitting the fan yet!!!

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I'm so in agreement with you. One of our invited guests wrote me an email saying they won't know if they can come or not until March. I was like you've got to be kidding me.

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Posted by spring06bride

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Posted by leese

no, not zen.... and even tho i AM having a 50,000 wedding....yes, 500 STILL does matter.

wait until you get a month out and people invite random people to your wedding.....or you FH forgot to invite someone and now says that he'll regret it forever....

i've learned it's easy to be zen when the shite isn't hitting the fan yet!!!

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I'm so in agreement with you. One of our invited guests wrote me an email saying they won't know if they can come or not until March. I was like you've got to be kidding me.

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I was 'so-called' Zen about a lot of things in the Summer. But it's much different being one month away from your wedding than 9 months... I guess you and me date twin know what's going on now!!!!

this is just my Honest Opinion, so don't take it to heart!

I don't believe a wedding is a time or place to invite every Tom, D*ck & Harry just to invite them! The wedding should be with the closest people in your lives & in some cases that is 300+ people! But in my eyes, with the wedding costs today, people are just ballsy to think that they can call you up & say 'Oh, I know my invitation just came addressed to me, but can I bring my 16 yrd old daughter' GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! Sometimes I feel like reaching through the phone & strangling people! Maybe I am being 'cheap' but $$ is pretty darn important when it comes to wedding planning..

.FH & I have purchased our first home & I don't think blowing an extra $1000-2000 is necessary for 6 hours!!!! In the grand scheme of things, we 'cheaped' out on things because our lives after the wedding are more important then the actual wedding celebration!!! I believe in our society, weddings have been so cultured that it is only natural to spend $30K-$65K on a wedding & people loose sight of what is important, The actual wedding ceremony binding the two as one!!!

well said kissy.....

300 people....you talkin bout me willis?

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Posted by leese

well said kissy.....

300 people....you talkin bout me willis?

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I was zen up until people started making substitutions because they couldn't give me info to begin with!!

Case in point: My friend since grammar school who I invited '& guest' because she never got around to giving me her live in BF's name every time I asked for it for the invites. Now she wants to bring someone I don't really like at all (and she knows this) because she was invited '& guest' and her BF doesn't 'do weddings'.

But thankfully, that has been my only problem invite wise thus far. Not to say there won't be more down the road, but my approach will basically be if the invite said it was okay, then I'll just grin and bear it.

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Posted by BKtoLI

I was zen up until people started making substitutions because they couldn't give me info to begin with!!

Case in point: My friend since grammar school who I invited '& guest' because she never got around to giving me her live in BF's name every time I asked for it for the invites. Now she wants to bring someone I don't really like at all (and she knows this) because she was invited '& guest' and her BF doesn't 'do weddings'.

But thankfully, that has been my only problem invite wise thus far. Not to say there won't be more down the road, but my approach will basically be if the invite said it was okay, then I'll just grin and bear it.

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What???? What the heck is wrong with people???? Her BF doesn't do weddings? i seriously don't understand how people make choices in their lives. I'm sorry. I just don't get it!
That's BS BTW. one of my friends who recently broke up with her BF had the audacity to call me and tell me that she's going to put plus one 'just in case' for the wedding. I was like no way-- i only invited you!

Yah, I was pretty Zen about the guest list. You are not alone.

When I was single I was always annoyed not to be invited with a guest. I can't pretend I wasn't. So, I thought I would be a total hypocrite if I went and invited people without guests. I always said that married people get to bring their spouses, even if the spouses are total jerks. So, a single person should get to bring someone, even if the bride and groom think that the person is a total jerk.

Also, I really wanted my parents to put aside certain family feuds and invite certain relatives. That added a few more people but I am so glad we did that!!!

I was until I realized we had way more people than I had wanted. Regardless, they are still being invited. All singles are invited with a guest.
I am just hoping we get a lot of no's!!

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Posted by kissy27

this is just my Honest Opinion, so don't take it to heart!

I don't believe a wedding is a time or place to invite every Tom, D*ck & Harry just to invite them! The wedding should be with the closest people in your lives & in some cases that is 300+ people! But in my eyes, with the wedding costs today, people are just ballsy to think that they can call you up & say 'Oh, I know my invitation just came addressed to me, but can I bring my 16 yrd old daughter' GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! Sometimes I feel like reaching through the phone & strangling people! Maybe I am being 'cheap' but $$ is pretty darn important when it comes to wedding planning..

.FH & I have purchased our first home & I don't think blowing an extra $1000-2000 is necessary for 6 hours!!!! In the grand scheme of things, we 'cheaped' out on things because our lives after the wedding are more important then the actual wedding celebration!!! I believe in our society, weddings have been so cultured that it is only natural to spend $30K-$65K on a wedding & people loose sight of what is important, The actual wedding ceremony binding the two as one!!!

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My thoughts exactly!

I'm sure when people start getting strupid and asking to bring their dogs I am going to get pissed, but as far as making the list I'm ok. Part of it copuld be that we're not iovnitng my dad's family, which is at least like 70 people we would have had, so we're ahead of the game..but I figure it out yesterday

You know when your family is yelling and you're thinking 'I will give you $1000 to shut up right now'...it's kind of like that

No, but seriously I just accept the fact that there are people I have to ivnite, FMIL is going to come up with some random list of people at the last minute, and I'm going to probably have to invitge some of them, etc. I guess I've just accepted this. I know I just have to suck it up and invite people I wouldn't want to invite.

Also, you're right, it's easy to say this 9mos away, when I've actually laid out very little for the wedding so far. I'm sure I'll feel differently when balances are coming due!!!!

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Posted by cindyandkevin

I think I'm pretty zen about the guest list, my only concern is about having ENOUGH people to meet our minimum!! We're having a fairly small wedding by NY standards, 100-150 ppl. We don't have $$ either but I'd rather pay for extra people than pay for empty seats. But I TOTALLY understand most brides have the money and space issues that they have to deal with and I certainly don't envy them.

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That;s another issue for us, we have a high minimum and a lt of our invitees are OOT, so I'm afraid of too many 'no's'

i wanted a small wedding. my fam is small, and fmil gave me a very reasonable amount. fh didnt want to invite any friends, and as much as i wanted to make the list shorter, i felt he needed to invite certain people. i guess i am a half zen bride