Is anyone else pretty Zen about the guets list?

It seems like everyone is really meticulous about their guest list, and worrying about who brings what guests and children, etc.

I am so zen about it compared to that. I'm a little annoyed when people say i have to invite people I don't even know, have never emt etc, but as far as everything else, I don't mind inviting a few extra people to keep the peace. We're inviting all of our friends with guest, we're inviting most of the children in the family, we're inviting people and their siblings so no one feels slighted. I am just not obsessive about this, but it seems like a lot of brides are so meticulous. Am I really in the minority, or are there other brides who don't care about 5 or 10 extra invites?

we are paying for the wedding ourselves, so every guest counts for us.... we're not inviting any children and not everyone is being invited w/ a guest.

i guess i'm not a zen bride!

This is why we decided to invite all of our friends with dates. in the grand scheme of it all, many of them won't bring one. As long as people do not bring their kids, i am fine. We planned for inviting everyone with guests when developing our budget. So to answer your question, i don't stress about it much, only when the invites are at the calligrapher and FH wants to add one more! That pisses me off!!

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Posted by marymoon

It seems like everyone is really meticulous about their guest list, and worrying about who brings what guests and children, etc.

I am so zen about it compared to that. I'm a little annoyed when people say i have to invite people I don't even know, have never emt etc, but as far as everything else, I don't mind inviting a few extra people to keep the peace. We're inviting all of our friends with guest, we're inviting most of the children in the family, we're inviting people and their siblings so no one feels slighted. I am just not obsessive about this, but it seems like a lot of brides are so meticulous. Am I really in the minority, or are there other brides who don't care about 5 or 10 extra invites?

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We def do not have the money to just add people in to keep the peace.. thats why I think a lot of brides freak out about it. An extra 5 people plus guests is an entire table.. and over 1k for us.

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Posted by evnme

we are paying for the wedding ourselves, so every guest counts for us.... we're not inviting any children and not everyone is being invited w/ a guest.

i guess i'm not a zen bride!

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We're paying for it ourselves too. I guess I just figure we're paying so much already, another couple hundred bucks isn't going to make a difference, plus I'm sure we'll have a lot of no's.

Also, I don't know how many of my friends are dating someone and how many aren't. I'm inviting alot of guests who are flying in from other counrties, across the country,m etc. If they want to bring a companion, it's only fair. I can't im agine inviting an adult without a guest. I guess that's just me.

Well, if you have an unlimited amount of space then that is fine. Most people have limited space etc, as a lot of them are paying for their own weddings.

We personally, only wanted to have the closest family and friends at our wedding and so we set a number of guests that we can afford and will invite accordingly.

i'm sorry but I am not a ZEN bride!!!

FH & I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves & we did scrutnize our guest list very closely!

The only child at our wedding is my FG & the only people that got invited with a guest was people over 21 with exception to FH's cousin who is 16 & dating the same guy for the past 4 years!!! We also did the cut-off at 18!!!

In the grand scheme of things, an extra 5 people with guests is $1000 & another table! Don't need that!!!

In today's costs, it is just not affordable to have everyone at the wedding reception

Our room only holds so many people, and we are dangerously close to the maximum. The guest list has been my biggest source of stress for the wedding,

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Well, if you have an unlimited amount of space then that is fine. Most people have limited space etc, as a lot of them are paying for their own weddings.

We personally, only wanted to have the closest family and friends at our wedding and so we set a number of guests that we can afford and will invite accordingly.

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I wanted that too originally. I wanted no more than 130 people at the wedding, a small intimate affair, but adding it all up we ended up with a big wedding, we're really mostly inviting close family...we have huge families...the extra people I'm talking about here are 'And guests' and maybe a few cousins I could have gone either way on, but we just went with yes. I didn't even invite nearly all of my first cousins, actually. (not including spouses, I have over 2 dozen first cousins)

When you're spending $50K or whatever, an extra $500 isn't even going to factor.....

I guess that's a NO

5-10 extra invites is ALOT of money at my hall, so yes I cared about it.

We've been getting some no's we didn't think we'd get, so I'm calmer now about it.

FH and myself are only having a small wedding (30). The only 2 kids are the FG and ring pillow Boy.

No cousins that I did see in 15 years. No friends of friends of the neighboors of my/his parents, etc. You got the pictures.

Only people we really care about between family and friends. And it came down to 30. We don't care about 'offending' people that we have not talked to since HS. Either family or former friends.

Also, we are paying for this ourself so that was a huge factor.

I know some people invite people because it looks 'funny' to have a small wedding in NY and also because they have been told they will get their money back through the presents.

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Posted by sarahbelle

Our room only holds so many people, and we are dangerously close to the maximum. The guest list has been my biggest source of stress for the wedding,

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this is my issue as well.

I guess I have learned that I don't need to invite everyone or impress everyone...I want people there that genuinely care about me and fh...not people there just b/c they may or may not share a last name..

so, I put my foot down and said no. there is no conflict with me...if people want to b1tch about my decision behind my back- so be it...it's probably why they weren't invited in the first place. Anyone that takes offense doesn't really care about us anyway...if they did, they would completely understand.

Def. not a Zen bride.

I just sent out my invites and still have a few more to send out. To us every penny counts because we're paying for EVERYTHING ourselves. Our room can be enlarged but our pockets can't. We've already extended the list another 15 people which comes to alot because now it's an extra table, another centerpiece, more place cards, more programs, etc. So in the scheme of things it's not just the per person cost of the reception. But overall we're having all the people that mean the most to us there to celebrate in our happy day.

An extra 5-10 invites is just something we simply can't afford. Whether it is $500 or $1000, and how that compares in the grand scheme of things isn't the point - we simply do NOT have the extra $$$. Every last penny is accounted for. (including the paychecks we will get while on the honeymoon - thank goodness for ATM machines).

Not to mention those 5-10 extras would wind up being people FH & I have never met (the 'and guests'). I don't want to watch my wedding video at my 10 year anniversary and say 'who the heck is that???'

I hear what you are saying, my FH and I have been debating on a few people, we figure on our guest list, we're going to have a decent percentage of no's (OOTers, people not bringing a 'guest') and we have a high guarantee number, so we could easily justify a few more couples. The only problem is if we invite these people, it would lead to basically inviting a whole extra table worth of people. FH put his foot down and said no.

I too wanted a smaller wedding to begin with, as did my mother. Then she handed me her desired guest list (before we got engaged). My reply is so, to get your desired number, I can invite 5 friends and my FH can invite absolutely nobody???

Fortunately, since our parents have tripled our guest list with their must haves, they have also contributed towards the wedding (that's the only way their guests are still on the list).

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Well, if you have an unlimited amount of space then that is fine. Most people have limited space etc, as a lot of them are paying for their own weddings.

We personally, only wanted to have the closest family and friends at our wedding and so we set a number of guests that we can afford and will invite accordingly.

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I wanted that too originally. I wanted no more than 130 people at the wedding, a small intimate affair, but adding it all up we ended up with a big wedding, we're really mostly inviting close family...we have huge families...the extra people I'm talking about here are 'And guests' and maybe a few cousins I could have gone either way on, but we just went with yes. I didn't even invite nearly all of my first cousins, actually. (not including spouses, I have over 2 dozen first cousins)

When you're spending $50K or whatever, an extra $500 isn't even going to factor.....

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If you're not on budget then no its not going to be a factor but if you are then $500 really makes a difference...you can use that money for tips or favors or whatever...it really depends how big your pocket is...I understand your point that you'd rather spend a few extra $$$ and keep the peace, rather than deal with the drama. But as for me, I would not let any drama get to me...FH and I are paying for the wedding and we'll do as we please.