I hope this doesn't sound weird, but FH and I were thinking about going to Town Hall in the next month or so and getting married there, before our 'wedding.' We had planned on getting married early in 09, but plans changed and we're waiting until October. One of the reasons we're considering this is for the simple fact of health insurance (of course it's also because we're in love and want to be married!). I have terrible insurance right now, and when I am eligible for insurance through my job in September, I'm still going to be paying at least $200 a month for it. FH has a Union job, and his insurance covers EVERYTHING. By everything, I mean that he had surgery last year so he would stop snoring, and it was ALL PAID FOR! Another reason is that we want to buy a house together, and in the long run, it's cheaper and we'd save a lot of money by being married first.
We'd kind of keep it a secret because part of me would feel weird about doing it. I think it sounds tacky that we're marrying to save money on taxes and insurance, but in this world, it's kind of crazy not to do it!
What do you all think about this?? Am I crazy??
CMBove
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I am not sure of the logistics or if it would work- but could you do a domestic partnership? that wat its kinda of a compromise btw getting married and getting insurance. I could be way off base, but it may be an option if you want to wait.
HotAir
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I'm not doing this but I've heard of a lot of people that do it mostly for insurance reasons.
Aristotelina
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
For the girls who are worried about the church not recognizing your union, don't you HAVE TO get married before your church ceremony anyway?
Anyway, if my church poo-poos on it, BIG WHOOP. I WILL find a way to get married!!
alli3131
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I would look into seeing if you can get he insurance as a domestic partnership. I am on FH 's insurance and have been for almost a year now. The only requirement for his company is that we live together. I have friends who do not live together and they were still able to get it through his company. I'd look into it before running down to town hall. People on here have done it before. There were a few girls on the 08 board that did it. They might be able to help with any questions.
beram63
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
we have toyed around with the idea here and there for insurance reasons (i.e. my job will pay me to NOT use mine, and his is FREE). i always come back to the emotional piece tho. to me, the wedding day will lose a lot of it's anticipation and excitement if we're already hitched.
it's a personal decision.
ddnsp618
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
i actually just went to a wedding where they were already married (it was for military purposes though, i think) and they were actually married at their engagement party...ill admit we felt a little bit skeptical about why they would have a big wedding, but i can understand that everyone wants their day. as long as you dont tell too many people (they told everyone, maybe that was the problem) then its ok
MEMEJOR
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I say if thats what u want go for it... i feel like i am married to the fh already
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I don't have insurance and it sukks!! FH and I have definitely thought about this!!
littlepixie12
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I know people that have done this. If its something that makes sense to both of you then do it.
Kris2782
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
We have thought about it... FH has no insurance. I would do it in a heart beat but right now I dunno if I have a full time job
Future Mrs Roo
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Im not now but was going to. FH wasnt working and he has to carry the health insurance for his daughter so we were going to do the same thing ( I have a union job also which cover EVERYTHING ) But he wound up finding another job very quickly so we didnt have to do it. I really dont see a problem with it
BeLissa
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
nothing wrong with it at all!! insurance is insane - fh and i talked about getting married before the wedding over me possibly needing a little root canal!!! thankfully i didnt need one, but honestly its a legit reason. keep it to yourselves - there is absolutely no reason why you should have to share it with anyone else unless you wanted to.
lanamanitta
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Posted by Aristotelina
For the girls who are worried about the church not recognizing your union, don't you HAVE TO get married before your church ceremony anyway?
Anyway, if my church poo-poos on it, BIG WHOOP. I WILL find a way to get married!!
No, you get married at the ceremony. The only concern is that you have to bring a marriage license to your priest, and it is signed by witnesses at your ceremony. If you are already married, you can't get another license, so it's better to just let the priest know. I tend to think if he understands that we agree it doesn't count until the church ceremony is over, he won't have a problem with it. The church encourages those who have civil ceremonies to make it 'official' within their religion by having a religious ceremony.
crazeee18
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
i know someone that recently did that too...just keep in mind if ur having a mass/ceremony that ppl might catch on that ur renewing ur vows instead of getting married
shell1879
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Posted by MEMEJOR
I say if thats what u want go for it... i feel like i am married to the fh already
same here we are basically like a old married couple it's just not 'leagal'
mks213
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
My fiance and I have been domestic partners for three years. We did it at the Bronx County courthouse so he could get on my insurance through the teacher's union in the city.
Sweets14
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Isn't it sad that you have to get married to get health insurance. Geeze what happened to this country sad....
