I hope this doesn't sound weird, but FH and I were thinking about going to Town Hall in the next month or so and getting married there, before our 'wedding.' We had planned on getting married early in 09, but plans changed and we're waiting until October. One of the reasons we're considering this is for the simple fact of health insurance (of course it's also because we're in love and want to be married!). I have terrible insurance right now, and when I am eligible for insurance through my job in September, I'm still going to be paying at least $200 a month for it. FH has a Union job, and his insurance covers EVERYTHING. By everything, I mean that he had surgery last year so he would stop snoring, and it was ALL PAID FOR! Another reason is that we want to buy a house together, and in the long run, it's cheaper and we'd save a lot of money by being married first.
We'd kind of keep it a secret because part of me would feel weird about doing it. I think it sounds tacky that we're marrying to save money on taxes and insurance, but in this world, it's kind of crazy not to do it!
What do you all think about this?? Am I crazy??
Kricket212
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I know someone else that did that...but they kept it a complete secret from family. They believe that the wedding was the first time.
PROBM
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
i know tons of people that have done that no biggie just go get hitched and get some good isurance
shell1879
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
we are thinking about doing a cival ceremony simply to get the army paperwork and addoption stuff going. a few people would know about it but not everyone. we are still planning the big wedding for 7/11/09 as long as he doesn't get deployment orderes for next year that are being talked about
lilpiggy742
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
i've known people to do that too...if my fh had insurance id do it too-except he's going to be going on mine through my job....
little34
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
We have considered this but we decided to wait...but i see nothing wrong with going to town hall and getting married before the wedding day... health insurance is crazy and if you can save money or worry by doing this go for it!!!
FutureTrophyWife
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
We did it and all I can say is DON'T KEEP IT as a secret. Just explain the reasons and everything will be great. We got married in April and are having 'wedding' in 2009.
KimiDanny1010
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
just keep it a secret... no one ever has to know...
branflake1229
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Thanks for the support ladies! I was worried that people would think it's a ridiculous reason to get married, but I knew you would all understand!!
As for keeping a secret, I think we'd really only tell maybe our best friends, if that. I don't want to feel like I have to explain myself and our decisions to people. It's our choice, whether we do it or not, and I don't want to defend myself to anybody.
And if we do choose to go this route, I will certainly share it on LIW!
Christaly
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
It's a really good idea, and your reasons are very valid... especially in times like these you know?
We personally can't because of the church - unless we wanted to do the religious ceremony too... but that would be hard to keep a secret ;) lol
GL to you.
Sweets14
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Oh god, that question has been running through my head!! I do not have health ins. anymore. I dropped it a few months ago because i was paying more for health ins. than i used. and just couldn't afford it anymore. It's about 500 through my job. Fh says he is more than willing to get married beforehand to put me on his plan. I just can't do it. Deep in my heart i just wouldn't feel right the day of our wedding. I feel like it wouldn't have as much meaning and decietful to all our friends and family!! Call me crazy for thinking with my heart and not my head!! I'll just pray i stay healthy for one more year!!
meli722
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
nope, ive known people that have done this, for the same reason, insurance they needed.....just keep it a secret if you dont want people to know
frescelena
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
We actually considered this for a time----and still are----I'm looking to leave my job (or go part time there, in which case they wouldn't cover ins.) and he has awesome insurance. And even full time, they're taking money out every two weeks---I would try to keep it secret----I do understand your hesitation, but you're in love and planning to be married anyway, it will just relieve A TON of stress! Go for it!
kayla09
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
I completely understand. You have to do what is best for you and your FH. This is actually more common than you would think. I know 3 couples that did the same thing. And I don't think you need to keep it a secret. It's not a horrible thing, your actually being very responsible. Your planning for your future. Go for it.
dazies1011
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
FH and I have considered this for the same reasons.
Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Go for it.
lanamanitta
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
We are considering it, but want to discuss it with our priest. We realize and believe that until the church marries us, we are not married. However, a city hall marriage is recognized by the IRS and the health insurance companies. I haven't gotten the nerve up yet to call the priest to ask him, but we talked about going the minute he says it's o.k. I don't think I have to keep it a secret, because I have one in my bridal party who had two weddings, and my parents are pretty practical folks, though they too would believe it wasn't 'official' until the actual church wedding.
We are still mulling this over, but I think there is no reason not to do it.
I posted on here the other day some good advice from a much older colleague. He said:
'Do it now. Get married tomorrow because you want to get married. Don't let the stress of a 'wedding' get mixed into stress over 'marriage.'
It's true, none of us are stressing about marriage, just the wedding 'coming off right.' So, get the important thing under your belt, keep it a nice little secret between you, FH, and those you care about most, and make the wedding planning more like party planning . . . .
frescelena
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
That's the EXACT reason we haven't done it yet! We thought it might be looked down on by the church! Since I haven't yet had the balls to call the church either, and don't want to have to lie to the priest, please keep us posted on what your church says if you do get up the cahones to call Thanks--good luck!
Jayla127
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Re: Is anyone getting married before your wedding?
Plenty of people do it for various reasons. I don't see anything wrong with it.
jgourdain
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We are getting married legally around October November for 2 reasons. 1. Our officiant is my FH uncle and he can only marry in the state of NJ. 2. Insurance reasons. FH needs some. I don’t think it is crazy. I still want my ceremony and reception this is just for legal reasons. I know a couple who is getting married in cancun and married 1 year before the actually cancun ceremony. So do what makes you happy.
