is anyone marrying an only child???

i myself am an only..and my fh is an only as well.

are there any traits that your fh has that bugs you??? ie.. as an only we like things our way or the highway sometimes... lol but the closer the wedding gets i think the more he is feeling like..omg nothing is just mine anymore... its ours...and i think he is fearing a lack of independance..i mean from silly things like dont touch my towels or dont take my lighter or why is there nail polish bottles near the computer.....

i dont know what to do about this..he feels its a sign of disrespect...and i think its just two people living together... but maybe i am being an only child brat myself..

any thoughts? ty!!

DH wasnt an only child but because his brothers are so much older than him he was raised like one. When he was 8yrs.old both of his older brothers went into the service so it was just him. I dont know about you but I find it very hard because his mom always did everything for him and never held him accountable for anything really so for along time I had to do everything myself, communication wise it's still working itself out. He will only do things if he's told to do it. It's like he cant think for himself, definetly not your way or the highway though.

oooh kinda the opposite thing !!!

for example today... fh was expecting a golf club from ups...and i was home this afternoon and he was at work. well by 6 pm ups didnt come..and after only sleeping 3 hours last night( long story lol) i HAD to nappie.

well apparently ups came while i was sleeping and fh lost it!!

he feels there was no reason if someone was home that ups should havent been able to leave the package. he acts like the end of the world is coming if something isnt done in his time schedule or his way.

so we are arguing bc he feels i was disrepectful by taking a nap while he was expecting a package (arghssss!!)and i feel he is nuts.

but its the only child thing i think..or maybe its a man thing. not sure.

now what you were saying...my cousin is an only and he was like your guy... until he got alot older. his wife tells stories of how he would follow her around the house and need everything done for him. well years of marriage cured that lol!!!

I'm marrying an only child... i think I can see some things which may cause conflict here and there, but I try to call him out on in right away... i think the biggest thing is he thinks of everything as 'mine' and 'yours' while i'm thinking of it as 'ours' But again, i always bring it to his attention, to try to get him out of that thinking before we're married (he is getting better)

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Posted by MyDay627

DH wasnt an only child but because his brothers are so much older than him he was raised like one. When he was 8yrs.old both of his older brothers went into the service so it was just him. I dont know about you but I find it very hard because his mom always did everything for him and never held him accountable for anything really so for along time I had to do everything myself, communication wise it's still working itself out. He will only do things if he's told to do it. It's like he cant think for himself, definetly not your way or the highway though.

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Same thing with FH. He is one of four, but he is 10 years younger than his next oldest sibling. his brother was married when he was 13!..so his mom does EVERYTHING for him - thats definitely gonna change!

I wish!! I'm not that lucky, though. Can you tell I have issues with his siblings?

I am the only-child in this relationship and fh (middle child) is slowly but surely breaking me in. Things mentioned before (ex: my towels) are definitely issues I have. When we first started living together I was all about sharing his stuff but when it came to my things, (cd's, dvd's, books, towels, peanut butter) I was like that kid in pre-school who hasn't learned about sharing yet. Four years later I am definitely a lot better, not perfect but better. The best advice I can give is BE PATIENT and DON'T GIVE UP on us only-child kids! We just have to learn now what all of you learned 20+ years ago and WE WILL LEARN!!!

I am the only child in our relationship and DH is the oldest of three...one brother is my age-25 and the other is 9-almost 10. I see slight differences with us mostly regarding our parents...but I got used to all the sharing stuff early on when we lived together...maybe a little with my roommates in college (although I had much more difficulty with this kind of sharing.)

yes yes yes!!!!!!!

he is sooooo mine and yours....... not as much ours!!!!!( its about little possesions...not major issues...like crayolas kwim?)

again i am an only too..and i get it..... but good heavens.... if i take a 90 cent lighter.... he freaks bc i am not respecting his stuff.... when i think of it as ours!!!!!!!!!


for the most part its totally a good thing us both being onlies bc we understand our need for space etc.... but once in a while his ' mine' stuff really triggers some tiffs!!!

My FH isn't an only child but he's the youngest and his sisters are a LOT older so its almost like he's an only child...and sometimes he can be a spoiled brat...and yeah he gets upset when i do things that he's not used to..

maybe you can sit down with your FH and air your concerns over the way he's been acting...remind him that it's going to be this way for the rest of your lives and he needs to start getting used to it..i mean what's going to happen when you have kids? then he really won't be able to say something about people touching his towels

My FH is marrying an only child (me) and he has 1 brother who is 8 years younger.
We are just starting to live together and it is an adjustment.

I married an only child. DH is more independent than I am and likes doing things his way.

He's really close to his mom, so I think that is so sweet. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mom!

I am the only child in our relationship - FH has 3 brothers...

I haven't had too much trouble adjusting to sharing...I guess that's because I have 6 first cousin's on my Dad's side and we used to vacation together in the summers - so I learned about sharing there...plus living with roommates at college...

I do have trouble with wanting things done a certain way (okay, done MY way), but I am trying to keep that in check and FH is great about adjusting too....