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Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Spitzergirl Posted:

Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

I like to go out, and I have been a home body for quite some time, but I think, since it is a new year, I want to start enjoying myself. I would like to start going out at least 2x a month. Is that alot in your opinon as a married women?. I have decided to go out with the girlz.

I tried inviting DH to bar/club, but it is just not his thing. Then, he refuses to go. But, when I do go out, I fell so guilty living him home.

Help!!!!!
lrs2005 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

To me that is a lot, but it depends upon what you are used to in your relationship. Also, if that is what you need to keep your marriage in tact and your DH is ok with it (or goes with you) then it is fine. Perhaps I would do once a month and see how that goes. If that is ok, then perhaps twice a month is ok.

JimmysBride Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Going to bars/clubs twice a month sounds like a lot to pick up as a new habit for a married woman. If my DH said to me his New Year's Resolution was to convert from someone who is mostly a homebody to someone who goes to bars 2x per month with the boys I would tell them that then his new years resolution was also to cause problems in our marriage.

Again, it's the sudden change to this lifestyle that would be the problem, not the going out with the girls 2x per month. Like the above poster said, I would try 1 a month at first and see how that goes.

Also, maybe since he doesn't like clubbing (my DH doesn't either) you could try to find other activities to do together and enjoy that don't involve clubbing that way he'll be more into going out.
Preshy7 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

i think it all depends on who you are going out with..

if your friends are mostly married and just looking for girls night out - then its totally fine!

however if your friends are mostly single looking to hook up and you are playing wing woman, then to me its a different story. then you are the minority and you may be put in a position where each time you go out you are stuck talking to some guy while your friends are hooking up.

of your dh doesnt like to go out and you feel the need, maybe start going out with couples that like to go out as well. go out to dinner then head to a bar afterwards or just get drinks or even have a cocktail party at your home.
N.Y.bride Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Posted by Preshy7

i think it all depends on who you are going out with..

if your friends are mostly married and just looking for girls night out - then its totally fine!

however if your friends are mostly single looking to hook up and you are playing wing woman, then to me its a different story. then you are the minority and you may be put in a position where each time you go out you are stuck talking to some guy while your friends are hooking up.

of your dh doesnt like to go out and you feel the need, maybe start going out with couples that like to go out as well. go out to dinner then head to a bar afterwards or just get drinks or even have a cocktail party at your home.


ITA with this post. Is there anything DH would like to do? Would he like to go out as couples? Maybe to dinner, or a movie. Anthony & I rarely go out at all, but we have children, so we really cant as much. Enjoy your free time while you can.
BHW Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Kris77 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

I go out with my girlfriends twice a month, and DH is totally fine with it. We are BOTH homebodies, but I need my time and he needs his. He would rather stay home and sit in front on the computer than go out with his friends, and I like to go out and have a couple of drinks with my friends. It is NOT good for a relationship to constantly be together. You have to be your own person and have your own life.

Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Posted by JimmysBride

Going to bars/clubs twice a month sounds like a lot to pick up as a new habit for a married woman. If my DH said to me his New Year's Resolution was to convert from someone who is mostly a homebody to someone who goes to bars 2x per month with the boys I would tell them that then his new years resolution was also to cause problems in our marriage.

I agree
JanuaryBride06 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Posted by Preshy7

i think it all depends on who you are going out with..

if your friends are mostly married and just looking for girls night out - then its totally fine!

however if your friends are mostly single looking to hook up and you are playing wing woman, then to me its a different story. then you are the minority and you may be put in a position where each time you go out you are stuck talking to some guy while your friends are hooking up.

of your dh doesnt like to go out and you feel the need, maybe start going out with couples that like to go out as well. go out to dinner then head to a bar afterwards or just get drinks or even have a cocktail party at your home.


I totally agree.
ellengrisal Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Funny, I made this same declaration over the summer! I realized that I hardly ever saw my friends and wanted to change that before we all started having children because once the little ones come along, that after work drink will NEVER happen. I say go for it!

Oh, my plan really didn't work out. Everyone was always so busy! Oh AND, I told my FI my plans and he was fine with it, as long as it didn't cut into 'HIS' time. hahaha.

Balancing your interests and keeping yourself interested and happy will make your relationship even better. I love my FI, but I also have other interests!!
itslaurie. Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

I don't think 2 days a month for yourself is too much at all.

SomethingBlu Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Posted by itslaurie.

I don't think 2 days a month for yourself is too much at all.


I agree! Now, 2 weekends (Friday, Saturday or Sunday) might be a bit much, but a Tuesday or any other day out with the girls when there are 28-31 days in the month is NOT too much. We deserve that much.
tray831 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Posted by BHW

I don't think it's a lot, but it depends on the kind of relationship you have. I love spending time with DH and I miss him if he's not there, but we go out without each other sometimes. We don't have to socialize as couples all of the time. I like that we're not so completely dependent on each other that we can't go anywhere without the other. I don't want to give up my friends just b/c I'm married and sometimes it's nice to have a girls' night out. If you spend 28 out of 30 nights with DH, I don't see the big deal in spending 2 nights without him.



I agree 100%. Although, I dont go out as often as 2x a month---but I will admit--I do love my girlz nites!!!!

Besides, when me and my friends are out--we're there to have a good time; to laugh and drink with each other---and certainly not with anyone else!!

My DH is a very laidback person--and the trust is there 100%--but I think 1 nite a month is enough--I would at least start it out that way before doing 2 nites. Beleive it or not, Drinks can get real costly too---
ladybug78 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

To each his own...You know your relationship better than anyone else...It really is a personal thing that only you can decide...If your DH has no problem with it, try it out...You may decide that its really not your thing!!!
Spitzergirl Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

Thanks Ladies,

I love your comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I do admit, I am a home body seriously, Dh loves to stay at home, and does not like to go out much. He is a workaholic as well.

Now, since this year has started, I have started going to school Full Time along with my Full time job. I have a tremendous amount of strees with the school work and the job. I don't want to be sitting at home, when the girlz (whom, I knew for so many years want to hang out a bit, now). Luckily, my friends all have husbands and bf's. Thank goodness, there's no one single that I know.

I will also, incorporate couples night out, just to make our relationship stronger.
soontobemrsv Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

i think its very healthy to go out and have a girl night every so often, i am not married yet, but i make it a point to go out with my friends a few times a month and dont plan on changing that, fh has his poker nights every so often too, i think it makes for a healthy relationship!!!

lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

We can't even get 2 nights with each other a month - personally, I wouldn't want to waste those nights going out with someone else - especially to a skanky bar!!!!

I do go to a book club one night a month - but even that is hard with my schedule!!!

jeanla4c Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

I think it's fine....I go out a lot with my single girl friends while DH is playing band gigs (lots of private parties, etc)....just to be with them and it's fun...DH rather that than me be home alone!!!

Valentinegirl Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

I think it's ok to hang out w/ your girlfriends 2x a month but maybe go to dinner instead of a bar some of the time.

Blu-ize Posted:

Re: Is it 2, much to go out to bars once ever 2 week as a married women

We both do it about 2x month. He does it more than I do it.

You def need time w/o each other it's healthy. If you trust each other it doesn't matter where you go with the girls/boys.

I go out with people from work and so does DH. I may go out with some friends shopping and stuff like that too. We work a lot and as much as we would like to spend all of the time with each other you need to get out with the girls or your friends.

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