Brides Helping Brides ™ - Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

candybride123 Posted: May 27, 2009 10:26 AM

Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

My ringbearer (a close cousin) who is 2 y/o has always had adorable long curly locks but now his parents have let it go past cute and into just weird/ wayyy too long.

In recent pics it looks messy and in his eyes.

I know this sounds so bridezilla, right?

I mentioned something about how his hair got straighter- HOPING that someone would make the connection that the length is weighing down what used to be light/airy and ADORABLE curls- but no one knew what I was saying.

I feel like I can't say 'get him a haircut'!!

I mean, I wouldn't try and impose a certain style on a 2 year old kid if it wasn't for the fact that his hair looks ridiculous to me (as well as to a few other people I asked i.e our grandma and my FH)

MarjorieFrank Posted: May 27, 2009 10:29 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

I would have no problem demanding a haircut, but I am partial Bridezilla. I think that this request borders on bridezilla, but I don't think there is anything wrong with asking his parents to cut the hair! Explain that you don't want it to seem messy the day of and in pictures, and that you want to see his beautiful face. Also, if you're having a summer wedding blame the humidity. You should absolutely be able to request that your BP looks groomed if that is what you want.

Espo22 Posted: May 27, 2009 10:36 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

ahhh i wouldn't do that, you might upset the parents and would cause unnecessary drama. He'll be cute no matter what so i'd let this one go personally, of course your day so do what you want. But many parents are sensitive and would take it as an insult. ALSO, to tell you the truth, i would never cut my kids hair bc somebody told me to do it ya know.

alli3131 Posted: May 27, 2009 10:39 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

yes you would be a bridezilla!!!!!!

Relish21 Posted: May 27, 2009 10:45 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Yea.... I mean unless u have a really really close relationship with the parents.

candybride123 Posted: May 27, 2009 10:49 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Posted by MarjorieFrank

You should absolutely be able to request that your BP looks groomed

Yeah, see that's kinda my point/problem.

Ugh. I TOTALLY get the whole it will cause drama and you can't tell someone to cut their kids' hair but it doesn't look groomed AT ALL. It's less of a 'style preference' and more of a jeeze this is my formal wedding and ur kid looks like baby tarzan haha and I know that sounds mean but this is my cousin and I LOVE HIM like crazy but it's seriously the truth.

But I also agree w/ espo maybe I should just let this one go... His parents obviously think it looks good so it can ONLY be taken offensively I guess... Plus yeah he is ADORABLE and will be cute even through the hair...

I just wish it was even 2 inches shorter... It would still be long but less crazy...

consulgirl Posted: May 27, 2009 11:21 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Yes, I do think it is bridezilla. I think the parents could possibly take offense. I think all the eyes will be on you, the happy moments you are sharing with your FH, and no one is going to give a rat's a$$ about the child's hair length.

Nitania13 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:30 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

I'm sorry to say, but I definitely think it's inappropriate to request that they cut their child's hair. No one is making you put this child in your wedding, you chose to add them. But just b/c it's your day doesn't mean you have a right tell parents how to keep their children (especially when it's a decision that will affect how they look after your wedding has come & gone). I know it's not your style and may even look really ratty and unkempt and that's annoying, but two wrongs don't make a right. IMO if you're that bothered by it just don't have their kid in your wedding. Sorry!

geegee827 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:40 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Posted by consulgirl

Yes, I do think it is bridezilla. I think the parents could possibly take offense. I think all the eyes will be on you, the happy moments you are sharing with your FH, and no one is going to give a rat's a$$ about the child's hair length.

ITA

megan_gallagher Posted: May 27, 2009 11:41 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Simply talk to the parents.
Tell them that you've noticed his hair is getting long and straight and hides his face and ask if maybe they wouldn't mind taking an inch or two off. Explain that in 15 years when you and hubby are looking at your album you want to say 'oh look how cute johnny was' rather then 'who is that kid? I can't see his face'
(but say it in a nice way)
if they get mad... simply say 'I'm sorry, I don't want to step on your toes, you're his parents and you are being nice enough to allow him to be my ring bearer, I apologize'

for all you know they could already have an apt to get his hair cut.. you don't know unless you ask.

JAAMS Posted: May 27, 2009 11:43 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Posted by Nitania13

I'm sorry to say, but I definitely think it's inappropriate to request that they cut their child's hair. No one is making you put this child in your wedding, you chose to add them. But just b/c it's your day doesn't mean you have a right tell parents how to keep their children (especially when it's a decision that will affect how they look after your wedding has come & gone). I know it's not your style and may even look really ratty and unkempt and that's annoying, but two wrongs don't make a right. IMO if you're that bothered by it just don't have their kid in your wedding. Sorry!

ITA with this. I think that the parents could quite possibly take it as offensive; they might love their child's hair and be so happy with it. People are not going to be criticizing a child at your wedding for his haircut.

MikesBride2B Posted: May 27, 2009 11:43 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

I'd be upset/offended if someone told me how to groom my child. That's just me though.

Espo22 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:49 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

when are you getting married? they might cut his hair before your wedding anyways

GT143EA Posted: May 27, 2009 11:50 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Alot of people are going to say this is a huge bridezilla move! But theres no harm in asking the parents. The worst they can say is no. I already told my future step son that I will be cutting his hair(I was a hairstylist for 10 years) and I will be cutting it the way I like it right before the wedding. I told him he can have his head back after the wedding

Juhgail Posted: May 27, 2009 11:55 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

I think that if it REALLY bothers you, you could TRY something.

But you must weigh the option. You can ask your mom (who I assume is the grandmother) and have her say something like 'wow, the 2 year olds hair is long, are you cutting it before the wedding? When it was shorter it was so cute with all those curls'. But on,y if the person can be tactful!

If and ONLY if you can have someone make an inquiry without it getting back that YOU made the request, then try it.

But to talk to the mom directly would be a big mistake.

MJDoc12 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:55 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Yes--without a doubt it would come off as BZ if you mentioned it.

I'm sure they realize he will need a hair cut before your weding - have faith the parents will figure that out...I wouldn't say anything and just leave it be.

debzy Posted: May 27, 2009 11:57 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Um, I wouldn't ask for the haircut. I think that's the parents' perogative. And you don't know if they have reasons to get/not to get the boy's hair cut. I know in the Jewish religion, technically, boys shouldn't have a hair cut until their 3rd bday. I know this is prob not the reason, but I'm just throwing the idea out there...they might have reasons that you just aren't aware of.

TommysWife08 Posted: May 27, 2009 11:57 AM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

no one is going to give a flying cupcake what the child's hair looks like. as long as he doesnt look like he just crawled out of a gutter (which im sure he wont) you have nothing to worry about - no one will even be looking at him

candybride123 Posted: May 27, 2009 12:01 PM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

I know you guys all have very valid points... It is just so hard b/c his new hair is really extreme (wish I could post a pic and show you haha but obviously that's wrong!)

Anyway, I would have my cousin in my wedding no matter what and he is not in my wedding for his hair of course- but it's just annoying to me that they aren't even considering the fact that he looks like he was just rescued off giligan's island!

But I am SO GLAD I posted this Q. to you girls b/c the responses made me realize that if I say something I might REALLY piss them off.

I think I am going to suggest something for his curls - like a little mousse or something- since they are so cute- and that will naturally lift his hair a bit away from/off his face.

candybride123 Posted: May 27, 2009 12:02 PM

Re: Is it bridezilla to request a haircut? (for someone ELSE)

Posted by TommysWife08

no one is going to give a flying cupcake what the child's hair looks like. as long as he doesnt look like he just crawled out of a gutter (which im sure he wont) you have nothing to worry about - no one will even be looking at him