This is a tough situation for me regarding guest list. I initially was having no children (meaning anyone in HS or younger). However, I realize that someone in my family has 3 kids, the two older girls are gracious young women (in HS) but their younger son (elementary age) is generally ill behaved and the parents don't care (they'll let him run around like a tyrant). I'm torn because I'd like the two older girls to come, but how could i just invite them? Then that opens a can of worms in that I'll have to invite other middle of the road aged children.....
Is it safer to do just all adults or do any of you have other alternatives. I can't even say the age limit is 16, since one of the two girls just turned 16 (I think the other one is 14 or 15). Thanks for you thoughts!
anjerandunder
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
if you can't have all the kids i wouldn't invite any at all. jmo
divabride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
Im in the same situation as you. My cousin has a 13 year old son whom I adore and a 7 year old spawn of the devil. At first I let word get around that no kids were being invited. One day we were talking about the wedding and she confided in me that she was so happy she found a babysitter for the boys. This was my chance, I thought to myself. I said, 'Boys? Your not bringing Jr?' She said no that she had heard there werent going to be any children invited. I said that was true, but at 13, I dont consider Jr a child, he's a young man. Is there any way you can approach the subject with the parents?
oneday
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
We basically had a 12 and up limit. I knew my one cousin's daughter (who was 12) really was excited about the wedding and wanted to come, so we invited her and another cousin's 16 year old son. I really didn't want little kids running around who were going to be bored and I think the parents of the younger kids were glad they could just enjoy themselves and not have to worry about their children.
David'sbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
My advice to you is ABSOLUTELY don't do it. You are opening yourself to a lot of headache. We have a guest list of 90 but we did the math. At 34 I am the LAST of my friends and family to get married. One of my cousins has 8 kids and he is one of 12 first cousins. Well, we figured it out... of the 90 adults we are inviting they have 51 children under the age of 12 alone.
It's a wedding, not a birthday party. We cut it off at FH's 4 nieces and one nephew (I don't have any). No other children. My MOH is from OOT and she has to leave her 1 year old with her cousins.
Oh, I also decided against children in the bridal party. I'm only having a MOH and BM. No way was I having 5 kids in a bridal party (can't limit it, he's Jewish no godchildren... yes, I thoughtt of that) that only has 4 adults total. FH's sisters live OOS and I'd have to pick up the costs of all of the outfits etc. We were looking at an extra $1000. I'm going to have enough to worry about than if little Shane walks or runs down the aisle.
wc0143
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
We had a similar issue and ended up only kids were our nieces & nephews (ages ranging 5-19) ...
cmastro25
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
I have to invite children because my sister has 3 kids and my FI's brother has one. I absolutey want them there. However, I'm going to keep it to just kids of the immediate family. Not sure if that is uncustomary, but I don't want 1,500 kids running on the dancefloor unsupervised. :)
Bunnymonkey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
I am hiring a babysitter myself, setting them up at the hotel and saying 'I have a service all set up for john and jonny!' to the two sets of parents who have older kids I love, and young toddlers who would ruin the party with their terrorizing....
halloweenbride04
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
I have 12 first cousins who range in age from 5 months to 24 years. FH also has a number of cousins of varying ages. We made a general rule that no kids under the age of 16 were to be invited. I explained our rationale to our families and they understood, even the aunt and uncle that have 3 kids but one is under 16.
eogara
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
My family rule used to be 14 (i.e. in HS) or older. We've had to advance that to 18 (i.e. out of high school) because the family got too big.
If you can set a definitive rule like that, go for it. If not, then no, I wouldn't do it.
ChristineC68
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
Posted by cmastro25
I have to invite children because my sister has 3 kids and my FI's brother has one. I absolutey want them there. However, I'm going to keep it to just kids of the immediate family. Not sure if that is uncustomary, but I don't want 1,500 kids running on the dancefloor unsupervised. :)
This is what we did - DH's nieces and nephew (ages 5-9) were the only children invited. They were actually very well behaved and spent most of the night dancing.
nicpizzo
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
We decided on no children with the exception of the 3 kids in the wedding party. That way it doesn't open a whole can of worms b/c the kids are part of the wedding party. Also, when we started to add up the kids in the family, it was past 20. Our invite list is long enough. So, we didn't want to insult anyone or play favorites. That's how we avoided the issue and so far family members have been cool with it.
MrsJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
I am in the same situation. I had 'adult reception' on the invite. One family has a 16 year old, 14 year old and 5 year old. The 5 yrs old wasnt invited - and no one was offended. Its adult only, 5 years old is too young.
Nicki_Rini
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is it possible to do this?
it might be a mistake but im allowing all kids at the reception but really not at the church... i think the reception should be elegant and fun, so if they run around well all be drinking and having fun anyway...
