to fill in the # of guests on the repsonse card prior to sending it?- for example- Im inviting my cousin and her husband but not her tribe of rug rats and i have an uncle that has had no one steady for quite a few years and unless he finds someone before i get married that hes steady with I would put just one down- Im trying to stay witin my budget and add on people that i realy want to be there by eliminating people i dont know- I mean my close- close people that may be single would be able to bring a guest- is that too cheesy???
LnP2003
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Re: Is it rude???
u'r guests might see that as rude....
radiostar
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Re: Is it rude???
I have a feeling I already know what people are going to say. I'm sticking around to find out how to handle thie situation because I got a bad feeling that people are going to bring WAAAAY more uninvited guests to my wedding.
Before you answer . . . please tell us how to POLITELY handle a situation like this. Can't we just include a cute little note along with the invite, or something??
**patiently waiting for responses**!
smooch
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Re: Is it rude???
You can accomplish what you are trying to do without having to put the number of guests on the response card.
Let's take your cousin and her husband who have the little kiddies. Address the inner envelope to Bea and Bart. They should know that you only to mean to invite them.
For your uncle, on the inner envelope, write only Uncle Fritz.
For friends who are single, simply write Devon.
For friend who you want to be able to bring a guest but you do not know the guest's name, write Herb and Guest.
And if you know the guest's name, write Vivian and Jacob.
If they have any questions, they will let you know.
EDITED TO SAY: if Uncle Fritz responds with #guests as 2, you can call and say, Uncle Fritz, I hope you understand that we need to limit the number of guests to only those invited because weddings are very expensive affairs. While we'd love for June to accompany you, we have to apologize for not being able to do so.
Bacardi527
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Re: Is it rude???
Okay so what if say my cousin responds for her and her SIX kids??? what do I do
LnP2003
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Re: Is it rude???
what about putting somewhere - ADULTS ONLY....
LnP2003
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or when you are addressing the invite as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
LnP2003
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Re: Is it rude???
for the members of my family where I am inviting the children, I'm putting mr & mrs & family
Bacardi527
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Re: Is it rude???
Yeah that sounds better- except some people dont GET it!!! I just have to pray that nobody takes advantage and considers that I am paying by the head. and all will be well- my cousin got married in 2000 and someone came uninvited and they were asked to leave by the coordinator and he got upset but there were no seats for him- he sat in someone elses seat and had to get up-
LnP2003
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Re: Is it rude???
serves him right!
LnP2003
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Re: Is it rude???
if it comes down ot that - don't forget you may need the extra heads to cover your minimum.... you call them and say - i'm sorry, but the invitation was only for you and spouse.... there's no room for extras (just pulling that off my head - not too polite but i'm sure you'll figure out something!!)
MelTodd604
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Re: Is it rude???
If u dont want them to bring there children just adress the invite to the parents only EX: Mr & Mrs John Smith....Thats it! Then that will tell them only they are invited no one else! Good Luck
Bacardi527
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Re: Is it rude???
Yeah- I think Ill address the envelope specifically and if someone is bold enough to GO THERE Ill sick my coordinator/cousin on them- she likes stuff like that
bride2be2004
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Re: Is it rude???
hey barcardi, i say write the number. that's what i am going to do. i will also place on the reception cards Adult Reception. some might get offended but oh well. if ppl did the right thing you wouldn't have to go so far. and it always seems to be family, they think because they are family the rules don't apply to them. i'm like 'no it's not okay to bring ur 5 kids and whomever they are dating because we're cousins!'
Bacardi527
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Re: Is it rude???
Hey- I had asked my cousin was it improper and she said the same thing people dont get it and so you have to be up front- If I have to go there I know the people that i have to do it with- and family are the main ones- my FH has a cousin that hasnt spoken to him for over 3 years and because he isnt speaking to FH hes not speaking to me(childish) and i have a feeling hes going to try and pull something like that try to show up- I just dont want any drama because there will be if people show up on our special day try to get over
cutsabutton
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Re: Is it rude???
I have the same problems since I came from a big family. Aside from playing around with the name game on hte invites, I'm also having my mother call relatives and casaully mention that the only people invited are hte ones on hte invites...because some people just don't get it! I went to a high school friend's wedding in Toronto and she only invited me...I don't think she knew I was going out with someone at that time. So I asked her if it was alright to bring my fiance with me ( I wasn't going to Toronto all by myself!) and that if she was working on a budget and can't accomodate him that I'd totally understand...I didn't want her to go crazy and feel obligated. It worked out fine. I'm just hoping people will be as considerate when they respond to my wedding invitations. I think some of the prbelm lies in the fact that some people just have no clue how much it cost to put together a wedding. I was one of those people...until I started looking at reception halls!
cw0904
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Re: Is it rude???
This is what we placed on our eparty invites and people STILL got nervy on us!! Please respond no later than xx, xx, 2003
Number of guests invited (line) with a number I wrote in
underneath accepts (a line for them to write whateve rin) across regrets ( a line for them to write whatever in)
Of course my mom still gets phone calls: can we invite so and so? People may see it as rude but whatever with me. I don't want my mom's friend coming with her husband and their entire clan of kids! On the inner envelope I specifically wrote all the childrens names, so they knew who was invited or not. Of course this wasn't clear enough either!
radiostar
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Re: Is it rude???
I'm going with CW. I'm sorry . . . call me rude or call me a witch with a capital B. I've got to make my life easy as I possibly can.
Bacardi527
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Re: Is it rude???
You really dont realize how much a wedding costs until your the bride- or the person paying I think that is appropriate to ask if someone can come-I am afraid a lot of people will assume that my father is paying for eveything and assume that they ca bring whoever they want-I have to do what i have to do because once i give the head count to the reception hall thats it- so if some get offended too bad- I just know that i will make phone calls and let people know I need a head count and if they mention any more then i written down then ill let them know- and if they get mad less people i have to pay for- or one more space that i can replace them with-
cw0904
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Re: Is it rude???
Bacardi I agree with you 100%. I don't think people realize how much goes into wedding planning until their child is getting married. The attitude is completely different when they are placed in those shoes. Fortunately my mom is a tough cookie so she set a lot of these nit wits straight for me before I got to them!
