Is It Too Over The Top...

leeserd Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:22 AM

Is It Too Over The Top...

Is it too over the top to ask all of my bridesmaids to wear their hair up? Is that a brideszilla request? I don't want to go too far because these girls have been so nice and so accomodating already. As far as the bridesmaid's dress, they showed me what they liked but told me that they would wear whatever I want because it is my day. I told them that they can wear whatever shoes they want as long as they are dyed the appropriate color because I want them to be comfortable. They have all agreed to get their hair and make up done professionally, which I think is very generous. So is this request going too far?

sophisticat13 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:26 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

If they are paying for their own hair I would ask them how they feel about it first and then let them make the final decision themselves. I don't think it's too over the top but I personally felt uncomfortable asking my BMs to wear their hair in a certain way (I thought of asking them to do the same thing). Maybe it's a little different if you are paying for their hair??

Cpt2007 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:28 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

IMHO, I wouldn't do it. Everyone feels differently about their hair, and some girls feel more comfortable with it being down. If they ask for your opinion, I think you can say you do like up-dos, but I would not mandate/dictate how they are having it done. And yes, I think that is very generous of them to agree to have both hair and makeup done.

Again, all of this is just my opinion...my goal for my wedding was to have as little inconvenience on my BM as possible, so I gave them the choice of everything but the dress. I may just be coming at this with a very different perspective.

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:29 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

Truthfully, not everyone looks good with their hair all up and they might not be comfortable. I had a bridesmaid ask me if she could wear it half up (i dont care personally) because she hates the way all up looks on her and would be so uncomfortable. I want everyone to feel beautiful so I am letting them decide. Also, they are paying for it, so I want them to like the style! I dont think it is a bridezilla request, I know plenty of people do it,but personally im not going to.

Maria31 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:29 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Truthfully, not everyone looks good with their hair all up and they might not be comfortable. I had a bridesmaid ask me if she could wear it half up (i dont care personally) because she hates the way all up looks on her and would be so uncomfortable. I want everyone to feel beautiful so I am letting them decide. Also, they are paying for it, so I want them to like the style! I dont think it is a bridezilla request, I know plenty of people do it,but personally im not going to.

ITA. I couldn't have said it any better myself.

KSquared Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:41 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I honestly don't think it's that crazy of a request.
I asked my girls to wear their hair off their face because it was going to be 95degrees + the day of the wedding. I wore my hair half up and my hair girl suggested to the girls to put their hair up because it creates a nice contrast in pictures.

They all decided to put their hair up but they all looking completely different.

angels914 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:41 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I know it is our day ...but some girls dont feel comfortable with their hair up ..... see how it all works out .. Good Luck

wifetobe Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:42 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I def wouldn't ask them to do that. it won't make any difference in pictures if some girls have their hair up or down or half up half down. No one will notice at all!!! I hate my hair all up and I would be insulted if a bride told me how to wear my hair for the wedding. You want them to feel good about themselves and beautiful. Not looking like mannequins.
JMO

jennarose023 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:51 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

IMHO, i would say let them do their hair how they feel comfortable...especially if they are paying for it.

Bride908 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 09:56 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I have heard of lots of brides doing this before. I personally wouldnt care if someone requested it of me, but I wouldnt ask my girls to do it. I dont think hair is that big of a deal and I feel like enough they are having it done professionally

ant090608 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 10:01 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

It depends on how close you are...my bm are my sisters and my FSIL. They asked me how I want their hair done. I really don't mind how they do so I told them anyway you want. I don't want to tell them how to do their hair- sometimes it looks better if they have all different hair do's.

teamC Posted: Aug 25, 2008 10:09 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

IMHO I don't think its too over the top....the last wedding I was a bm in, the bride asked us all to wear our hair up. We paid for it ourselves - mind you I had to get pieces put in my hair to complete the style the way she wanted it...BUT IT WAS HER DAY! I considered it my role as her bm.

I don't plan on doing the same for my bm's...but I'm a different bride than my friend was...lol!

MJDoc12 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 11:08 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

a little over the top IMO. let them wear their hair as comfortable as they want. i know it seems you are giving them a 'lot' -- but asking them to get shoes dyed is a little more than i would have asked as well.

let them be comfortable and look their best, however that might mean for their hair.

JamieAnt06202009 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 11:12 AM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I wouldn't do it because everyone looks good with a different style. I have seen this happen before and the girls get really upset.

DWKSwed Posted: Aug 25, 2008 12:41 PM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I agree, I wouldn't ask them to wear it all the same way, girls can be very self-conscious and I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable.

vika111 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 12:53 PM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

You can definitely suggest it, and perhaps even point out a few styles that you like. However, ultimately, it's their decision.

KimberlyScott Posted: Aug 25, 2008 12:55 PM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I didnt ask this of them. I thinks it's a slight bit bridezilla!

jgourdain Posted: Aug 25, 2008 12:56 PM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

I don't think so. I am doing it. I do think it depends on the type of girls you have. If it is going to cause trouble don't. I let them pick out their own style dress it as long as it was long, same designer and same color. So I didn't think it was to much to ask for their hair to be up and similar.

lyss0908 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 12:58 PM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

Posted by Maria31

Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Truthfully, not everyone looks good with their hair all up and they might not be comfortable. I had a bridesmaid ask me if she could wear it half up (i dont care personally) because she hates the way all up looks on her and would be so uncomfortable. I want everyone to feel beautiful so I am letting them decide. Also, they are paying for it, so I want them to like the style! I dont think it is a bridezilla request, I know plenty of people do it,but personally im not going to.

ITA. I couldn't have said it any better myself.

Me neither! Some of my girls are getting their hair done, and some are doing just makeup. I did not personally make any requests of them other than silver shoes.

Espo22 Posted: Aug 25, 2008 12:59 PM

Re: Is It Too Over The Top...

Personally i didnt do it bc i know how i am and there are styles i am not comfortable with. I never wear my hair all up and i hate it. Of course if a bride requested this and really wanted it then i'd do it but doesn't mean i would like it. Probably would be more annoyed if i had to pay to get my hair done and had to pay for something i really don't like. Everyone is different and everybody has different face shapes, different hair and might not go. I have VERY VERY thin hair and all up is pointless on me, whatever the style is on top of the hair whether its curls or some sort of style, it looks like i have nothing just a few strands of hair on top. If its a bun type style not an actual bun but something bunched up, other girls will have enough hair to do so and it will look good and mine would look stupid in comparison. So in order for me to do an all updo i would need extensions, so then i would have to pay to get some extra hair pieces.

Im a bm in a wedding in 2 weeks and im glad she said to do whatever we want bc i chopped off my hair so its pretty short now and even if she wanted all up i obviously wouldnt be able to