Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Reverend for her wedding ceremony??
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Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Why is this bothering you? I think I would be excited to see my cantor and minister perform another wedding!
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I am going to have to say YES. I think it would be a compliment.
Sorry I can't spell.
Sorry I can't spell.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I don't see what the problem would be... it wouldn't bother me... why don't you want her to use the same reverend?
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Yes and No, it depends on your SIL.
I would love any member of our family or even bridal party to get married at St. Kilian's and use our priest again.
I consider him a family priest, but I also know he spent time to really know us. He picked our gospel and did an amazing homily. I know the parts that could be different for other family members would be if they picked him to do their ceremony mass. Now if my SIL was going to do all the same readings and songs it may be somewhat freaky, but I know that our priest would still make it different..
I would love any member of our family or even bridal party to get married at St. Kilian's and use our priest again.
I consider him a family priest, but I also know he spent time to really know us. He picked our gospel and did an amazing homily. I know the parts that could be different for other family members would be if they picked him to do their ceremony mass. Now if my SIL was going to do all the same readings and songs it may be somewhat freaky, but I know that our priest would still make it different..
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I am not comfortable with eharing the same ceremony at mine, we got maried at the hall, and we felt our reverend was very unique.
Since it was the most importatnt part of our day, and the rest would not have happened if we were not united in amrriage, I feel that it should be okay for me to say no.
I put alot of time and effort into making my wedding unique, and I don't want to hear the same ceremony. We had to pick different sections, but I am sure she will want to pick exactly what i did, and I am not comfortable with it.
I know it should be a complement, but it happens all the time, she copies everything we do, and it is getting annoying, it has gone way beyond flattery.
Since it was the most importatnt part of our day, and the rest would not have happened if we were not united in amrriage, I feel that it should be okay for me to say no.
I put alot of time and effort into making my wedding unique, and I don't want to hear the same ceremony. We had to pick different sections, but I am sure she will want to pick exactly what i did, and I am not comfortable with it.
I know it should be a complement, but it happens all the time, she copies everything we do, and it is getting annoying, it has gone way beyond flattery.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
This is the SIL who's been copying everything right?
Go ahead and be mad, tell her to get some creativity.
Wow, I'm blunt this morning, aren't I?
Go ahead and be mad, tell her to get some creativity.
Wow, I'm blunt this morning, aren't I?
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I told my DH to tell her nicely that we would both prefer she use someone else.
He thinkks she will be mad. We have to tip toe around her because you never know when she will flip. And i don't think it is fair, eeryone lets her get her way to keep the peace, meanwhile I am upset. SO his mom is thinking of a better way to do it. it is BS, just tell her nicely. We tried not calling her back about it, but this is the second call.
He thinkks she will be mad. We have to tip toe around her because you never know when she will flip. And i don't think it is fair, eeryone lets her get her way to keep the peace, meanwhile I am upset. SO his mom is thinking of a better way to do it. it is BS, just tell her nicely. We tried not calling her back about it, but this is the second call.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I say no, you're not wrong because this is the SIL that copies... She probably wants to use the person so she doesn't have to go find her own.
I've read some of your posts about her and I think you're totally justified.
Just to prove yourself that you're right ask her these questions -
1. What's the name of the person? If they made such an impression on her she would remember
2. Why do you want to use this person? See if she mentions anything specific.
Good luck!
I've read some of your posts about her and I think you're totally justified.
Just to prove yourself that you're right ask her these questions -
1. What's the name of the person? If they made such an impression on her she would remember
2. Why do you want to use this person? See if she mentions anything specific.
Good luck!
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Donna - she doesn't know the person's name, and the thing is, it is written in the program that i made.
SHe totally wsnts to take the easy way out, by sing what everyone loved about my ceremony.
She wanted to use my DJ until I told her the price, and everyone complemnted me on my choice of BMdresses, since they were white and blue, so so was using two toned. I know that people that matter will see right thru it, but I don't have to like it.
SHe totally wsnts to take the easy way out, by sing what everyone loved about my ceremony.
She wanted to use my DJ until I told her the price, and everyone complemnted me on my choice of BMdresses, since they were white and blue, so so was using two toned. I know that people that matter will see right thru it, but I don't have to like it.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
We used the same officiants as a lot of our friends and they took it as a compliment.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
The fact that she doesn't know the name shows that she really just wants to use the person to get under your skin - IMO
In most cases it is a compliment to use the same vendors/reverends, etc but not in this one. You've had problems with her before and I think she's just being lazy and doesn't want to do any legwork of her own.
Stick to your guns!! If she can't even name your reverend then she shouldn't use him/her
In most cases it is a compliment to use the same vendors/reverends, etc but not in this one. You've had problems with her before and I think she's just being lazy and doesn't want to do any legwork of her own.
Stick to your guns!! If she can't even name your reverend then she shouldn't use him/her
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Yeah but if you all belonged to the same church would you say, 'you can't get married at the church 'cause I did?'
I understand your frustration re: dresses & DJ but there are only a handful of really good Reverands on LI.
I understand your frustration re: dresses & DJ but there are only a handful of really good Reverands on LI.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
A church wedding was so different then what my ceremony was, IMO there was no comparison, and that is was one of the reasons I didn't get married at a church.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
no problem there...
i think the only problem would be the reception hall
i think the only problem would be the reception hall
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Too me, this is like if she picked the same dress.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
ok, I get ya now.
at first I didn't thinkit mattered, b/c most ceremonies are similar, but if you worked hard to make this differnet, then its annoying.
Especially since its one of several thing she is doing.
Will this revereand jsut let her say, ' thisis what my sil did, I want the same, or the reverand ask questions, to make it more them?
at first I didn't thinkit mattered, b/c most ceremonies are similar, but if you worked hard to make this differnet, then its annoying.
Especially since its one of several thing she is doing.
Will this revereand jsut let her say, ' thisis what my sil did, I want the same, or the reverand ask questions, to make it more them?
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I had to pick different parts, and i changed a few things around, but I am positive that my SIL will ask me what did you use, etc.
IMO, if she picked the same dress everyone would agree withme that it would be wrong, but the ceremoney is more important then everything else. It is more important then a DJ, then a dress, then colors, then songs, it is the entire reason for a celebration.
I do not want her duplicate ceremony to take away from my DH and I's vows, those are the most important things to me, and i do not want them overshadowed.
IMO, if she picked the same dress everyone would agree withme that it would be wrong, but the ceremoney is more important then everything else. It is more important then a DJ, then a dress, then colors, then songs, it is the entire reason for a celebration.
I do not want her duplicate ceremony to take away from my DH and I's vows, those are the most important things to me, and i do not want them overshadowed.
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
I think in most relationships this would not be a debate...
but like Donna has pointed out...Michelle's SIL is infamous for doing things like this...
and her SIL has made comments how she wouldn't do things like Michelle did (just to get her goat IMO)...but now wants to do it the same way
but like Donna has pointed out...Michelle's SIL is infamous for doing things like this...
and her SIL has made comments how she wouldn't do things like Michelle did (just to get her goat IMO)...but now wants to do it the same way
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Re: Is it wrong if I don't ant my SIL to use the same
Posted by shelzyp
I had to pick different parts, and i changed a few things around, but I am positive that my SIL will ask me what did you use, etc.
.
Lie.
If that does't work, yours was first, so it will always be an orginal.
Iwould probabaly aske her blunt things in a super sweet way like, 'how come you using my minsiter- oh, i'm
you have other priorities & don't have the time to personalize your wedding?- I understand, you must be crazy busy'
maybe that will tick her of enough not to use your minister.
