ok so when FH and I were making the guest list we got into an argument...his parents are divorced and he has a lottttt of ppl that have to be invited.
i told him that when i talked to him mom she had a list of 60 people.... just from her side of the family!!!!!!!!! thats not including his stepdads family his dads family or his step moms family
his moms family is very close but those 60 ppl is including his grandmas sisters and brother and all of there kids and there kids kids and so on...she wants to invite ppl that i have never even met...that my fiance wouldnt remember if he ever saw them....he didnt even remember who half of them where!!
do you think its wrong of me to get mad that she wants to invite all those ppl.....i have 60 ppl from both sides of my family (mom and dad) bc im not inviting my grandparents siblings and all there kids
he thinks im crazy bc i dnt want to invite all of them and thinks im completely wrong bc its his family and they should all be invited
BTW...my family is paying not his....his dad might give us some but im pretty sure his mom isnt giving anything
Reymiliz
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
i think that 60 ppl is alot ... u should invite ppl u know ... not ppl u have to meet at ur wedding
FutureMrs.M
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
ukk sticky situation...i think it depends who is paying. if you are paying/your parents are giving you x amount of $ you def can say sorry this is all we can afford and give a number and anything over that amount you give they have to pay...if his mom is giving money it is much more complicated
snowa5
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
Posted by angel1219eyez
ok so when FH and I were making the guest list we got into an argument...his parents are divorced and he has a lottttt of ppl that have to be invited.
i told him that when i talked to him mom she had a list of 60 people.... just from her side of the family!!!!!!!!! thats not including his stepdads family his dads family or his step moms family
his moms family is very close but those 60 ppl is including his grandmas sisters and brother and all of there kids and there kids kids and so on...she wants to invite ppl that i have never even met...that my fiance wouldnt remember if he ever saw them....he didnt even remember who half of them where!!
do you think its wrong of me to get mad that she wants to invite all those ppl.....i have 60 ppl from both sides of my family (mom and dad) bc im not inviting my grandparents siblings and all there kids
he thinks im crazy bc i dnt want to invite all of them and thinks im completely wrong bc its his family and they should all be invited
We gave both are parents a limit they can invite. if they go over the number they pay for the extra people. We are paying for our wedding.
MrsC2010
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
are they giving you money? I think you should decide how many people you want to invite. anyone over that number that your FH's family wants...they should have to give you money for.
CloudNine
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
maybe mention it to her to see if she can cut people. if she is close with them and they cant be cut then you may have to deal with it. when you say kids are you talking children? maybe make a rule for no kids?
FallBride2010
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
Are his parents paying for the wedding? Here is how i am handling it. My parents are paying or the RH...so I am letting them invite whoever they want. I'll admit, I am a bit annoyed about some of the choices, b/c they are people I dont know. I dont think I should be meeting people for the 1st time at my wedding. But they are paying...so I am sucking it up. But FH's parents arent paying or contributing...so they dont have a say in the guest list. We are inviting immediate family on FH's side...all aunts and uncles and 1st cousins that arent little kids. But I am not allowing FH's parents to invite friends or extended family. Their immediate family is big enough.
stinenandy2010
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
ugg..just got deleted
basically, had the same situation with my fmil, i told her no, my parents are paying and have control over the guest list.
i would just talk to her and tell her you can't accomodate that many people unless she wants to pay for them. thats what i told my fmil and her tune changed real quick.
RitasEngaged
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
Posted by snowa5
Posted by angel1219eyez
ok so when FH and I were making the guest list we got into an argument...his parents are divorced and he has a lottttt of ppl that have to be invited.
i told him that when i talked to him mom she had a list of 60 people.... just from her side of the family!!!!!!!!! thats not including his stepdads family his dads family or his step moms family
his moms family is very close but those 60 ppl is including his grandmas sisters and brother and all of there kids and there kids kids and so on...she wants to invite ppl that i have never even met...that my fiance wouldnt remember if he ever saw them....he didnt even remember who half of them where!!
do you think its wrong of me to get mad that she wants to invite all those ppl.....i have 60 ppl from both sides of my family (mom and dad) bc im not inviting my grandparents siblings and all there kids
he thinks im crazy bc i dnt want to invite all of them and thinks im completely wrong bc its his family and they should all be invited
We gave both are parents a limit they can invite. if they go over the number they pay for the extra people. We are paying for our wedding.
Us as well they want extra people they pay
christine2010
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
this is what FH & I did: we sat down separately and each made 3 lists. (his family, my family & friends) then we compared lists and compiled a master list of who we wanted. this took about 2 hours because we went over each person to confirm that we both new the people.
then FMIL got her side of the family to review & my parents got our side of the family to review. i turns out that everyone was happy.
i realize that this wont work for everyone but what everyone needs to understand is that the bride & groom should be the ones to make the lists & then have them reviewed, no matter who is paying.
LouMar2010
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
i would say if you are inviting 60 people from your side, then your family is only obligated to then pay for 60 people from your fh sides. because its crazy for your parents to have to pay for all of those people. any that go over his parents should pay for.
SummerGroom10
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
If you are paying for it, it is not wrong at all to be mad, what we did was we told our parents that the people they wanted to invite that we didn't know they would have to pay for.. That seemed to be the most reasonable thing to do and they all agreed on it..
Espo22
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
DH's side of the family was over 60 people, maybe 80 or more and this was with us cutting off some family members on his side lol. His dad has 7 brothers and sisters so all of them with their spouses, plus dh has about 23-25 first cousins whom are all married so all of them and their spouses, just his first cousins with spouses were about 50 ppl. So about 65 ppl just on his dads side lol. Then his mom has 2 other sisters, the older sister has 3 kids all married. BUT dh knows all of them VERY well and i knew all of them too and have met them and been to family functions with all of them. Any family event they are all there and all keep in contact so we had no choice. Thank god my side of the family is VERY small but in the end we still ended up with 275 guests.
Its hard to tell them not to invite their own family but if he doesnt even know them then that is a bit different. I would do the whole guestlist first and see how many people you have and see if its about 20-30% over your minimum, if so then you should be good since 20-30% usually decline. If its way over that then say you two will have to sit down and really cut down on the list.
CloudNine
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
my parents side is 114 people and FH's is 40...we cant help it that we have a big family. i think that family is important to the wedding so i reall yhave no room to cut people..kinda just hoping some people wont show. maybe have an A, B and C list and invite more as people say no?
mikendeanna
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
Every time I mention the 'LIST' we break out and fight. My main point to my FH is it is our wedding. Our parents already had their chance. So if they didn't invite those certain people to their wedding tough S*it because they aren't coming to mine. If they are going to come than that person who is inviting they will pay for their dinner. This is my time to shine with my friends and the people I care about.
mosh424
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Re: is it wrong of me to be mad?!
Posted by CloudNine
my parents side is 114 people and FH's is 40...we cant help it that we have a big family. i think that family is important to the wedding so i reall yhave no room to cut people..kinda just hoping some people wont show. maybe have an A, B and C list and invite more as people say no?
Yeah, I would discuss maybe setting a limit on it. Tell them you want X amount of guests at your wedding (say 200) and each parent can invite X amount (say 20 or so) I think 60 is excessive...
