IS REALLY CONSIDERING CANCELLING MY WEDDING..VENT OFF

LADIES I NEED YOUR ADVICE IM PISST, ANNOYED, BLAH BLAH....ME AND FH LIVE IN MY PARENTS BASEMENT (WE WANT TO BUY A HOUSE AFTER WE GET MARRIED). MY PARENTS, BROTHER, SISTER AND 10 YEAR OLD NEPHEW LIVE UPSTAIRS AND ME, FH AND OUR 21/2 DAUGHTER LIVES IN BASEMENT. THE SITUATION HAS ALWAYS BEEN THAT MY OLDER SISTER WHO LIVES ELSEWHERE WITH HER BF AND THEIR TWO KIDS HAS ABONDONED MY NEPHEW FOR THIS MAN ( I HATED HER AND STILL DISLIKE HER). TO MAKE IT SHORT EARLIER TODAY MY NEPHEW CAME AND SENT MY DAUGHTER TO COME DOWNSTAIRS AND TAKE HER COOKIES SO HE CAN HAVE THEM..I HEARD HIM WHISPERING TO MY DAUGHTER AND OF COURSE MY DAUGHTER DID WHAT HE SAID. WHILE MY DAUGHTER BROUGHT HIM THE COOKIES I FOLLOWED HER AND QUESTIONED HIM. MY MOTHER COMES TO INTERVENE AND BASICALLY TOLD ME NOT TO CRY OVER COOKIES...MY POINT WASNT ABOUT THE COOKIES BUT IT WAS THE POINT THAT HE SHOULD ASK ME NOT COMMAND MY DAUGHTER SO AS ALWAYS MY MOTHER COVERS HIM UP (HES ALWAYS CAUGHT TAKING STUFF AND HIDING STUFF AND LYING) AND SHE BASICALLY TOLD ME TO SHOVE MY COOKIES IN MY A** ...SHE TOLD ME I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM BUT WHEN I TOLD HER THAT MY SISTER WHO IS HIS OWN MOTHER DOESNT EVEN COME TO SEE HIM HELL JUST FROZE OVER IN OUR HOUSEHOLD (OH SHE IS ALWAYS DEFENDING MY SISTER TOO)..SHE WAS NEVER IN MY WEDDING PLANNING...I NEVER FELT ANY SUPPORT FROM HER OR MY SISTER (AND SHE WANTS MY SISTER TO BE MY MAID OF HONOR...NOT) I HONESTLY WANT TO SPEAK TO MY FH AND CANCEL THE WEDDING AND JUST BUY A HOUSE AND DO THE CIVIL OF THE PEACE WEDDING...I REALLY HAD MY HEART SET ON A WEDDING AND IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS ARGUMENT WENT FROM STEALING A COOKIE TO WANTING TO MOVE OUT...SINCE DAY ONE OF MY ENGAGEMTN I NEVER GOT A CONGRATULATIONS FROM MY MOTHER OR MY SISTER, I REALLY ON YOU GUYS AND MY COUSINS....I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO

I know you must be pissed but as someone on the outside (not knowing all the facts) So do not take offense to this..maybe your nephew is afraid to ask for the cookies...especially if he heard you say even his own mother does not come to see him...most times children know when an adult doesn't like them or has ill feelings...I learned this from experience with my bro's kid. Subconciously..I think because I don't get along with him and she reminded me so much of him I was basically taking out my not likeing him on her ( sorry that is so confusing)

Don't cancel you wedding for others..if you want that wedding have it

Sorry you are going through this

Thank you i really do appreciate your advice but i have no ill will towards my nephew at all its just that hes always been sneaky with everything and my parents put up with it but i dont....I dont care about the cookies he can have 20 for all i care but i should of include in my original vent that ive caught him numerous times taking stuff from me, ex- i couldnt find my ipod, found it in his school bag and he still denies it, but the argument of the cupcakes then escalated to me not loving my nephew. I love my nephew with all my heart but he is sooo disrespectful that me trying to teach him not to lie get burnt in the behind for this

i am so sorry this is happening to you!! Are you considering cancelling the wedding bc if you move out you wont be able to afford the wedding? or bc you just dont want to deal with your mom and sister at the wedding??

here are my thoughts - it ***** to be going through this but if you NEED to move out I get that - why not push the wedding back some so you can afford it and moving out... i know we are already waiting 2 yrs but whatever... or maybe do somethings to lower cost (cut guests, switch to a daytime wedding... things that cut cost but still allow for an awesome day!)

im sure that this ***** right now but why not get some locks and keep your fam (FH daughter) downstairs and try not to associate with upstairs until you cool off then just make some guidelines.. like during the week you all stay down stairs...

we currently live upstairs in my parents house (FH and i) and my bro lives in the basement... what we do is basically stay upstairs and go down like a visit not like we all live together... it works for the most part but there are no children involved...

GOOD LUCK - take a few days to cool off - then make your decision...

Sorry that your upset. But canceling that biggest day of your life isnt worth it. Maybe you might have to sit with him and let him that taking stuff without asking is wrong.I dont want to step on anyone feet but maybe he needs some guidance.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I think what you need to do is take a few days to cool off and remove yourself from this situation. Once you are cooled off you should revisit this situation and really try to ascertain what the problem is. Based upon what you wrote, it seems like the problem you are encountering is mostly based with your family. I think it's important to remember that parents sometimes may feel like they need to defend their son/daugther if something negative is being said about that person (this may have happened with your situation when your mom was defending your sister). Sometimes it can be very difficult living with family. I think that you should consider moving out and finding your own place. This may be able to help your situation substantially because sometimes seeing family day after day could cause more harm than good if there are already pre-existing problems. Sometimes it may be better for you to live separately from family and see them here and there for important events and holidays. If moving out and planning a wedding is too much financially, then maybe you could consider pushing your wedding date back. However, I don't think that you should cancel your wedding. Even though some family members may not be that enthusiatic about wedding plans, it's important to remember that the most important thing on your wedding day is you and your FH. If having a wedding is something that you have always wanted to have, then I think you should go ahead with it, and don't concern yourself over whether your family members are involved or enthusiastic. Sometimes people can also be jealous and that could be the cause for them not being concerned over your wedding. Again, I'm sorry that you are going through this. FM me if you want to talk!

2010 crasher here

Im so sorry your going through this.

If you are interested you can have a small destination wedding its less expensive and you can still have an actual ceremony (with min stress, if any at all). The people who will be there will be the ones who are there to support you on your day not stress you.

Im getting married on a cruise and it 1/4 the cost of a traditional wedding. If you have any questions feel free to FM me. I can give you a cost break dwn or just an ear if you want to vent

GL

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Posted by soontobemrsi

this is a horrible situations and with all the joy that surrounds engagements also comes drama and fighting as sad as that is.... My suggestion is to still have ur wedding... have it a restaurant or a small hall... i had my engagement party at a little catering room the whole thing cost about $5000 and it could have bee a fine wedding... we had about 100 guests... if u could afford something small like that and also save for the house and be able to move out then i think thats perfect!!..... its not the size of the wedding that counts u will still have a blast and celebrate ur love for one another.... if u want info on where i had my engagement part FM i would love to help i also know another cute little place ... so anything i can do let me know!!

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Thank you soo much for the advice :) you girls are really helping me with this situation and thank you for the suggestions

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Posted by ellie424

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I think what you need to do is take a few days to cool off and remove yourself from this situation. Once you are cooled off you should revisit this situation and really try to ascertain what the problem is. Based upon what you wrote, it seems like the problem you are encountering is mostly based with your family. I think it's important to remember that parents sometimes may feel like they need to defend their son/daugther if something negative is being said about that person (this may have happened with your situation when your mom was defending your sister). Sometimes it can be very difficult living with family. I think that you should consider moving out and finding your own place. This may be able to help your situation substantially because sometimes seeing family day after day could cause more harm than good if there are already pre-existing problems. Sometimes it may be better for you to live separately from family and see them here and there for important events and holidays. If moving out and planning a wedding is too much financially, then maybe you could consider pushing your wedding date back. However, I don't think that you should cancel your wedding. Even though some family members may not be that enthusiatic about wedding plans, it's important to remember that the most important thing on your wedding day is you and your FH. If having a wedding is something that you have always wanted to have, then I think you should go ahead with it, and don't concern yourself over whether your family members are involved or enthusiastic. Sometimes people can also be jealous and that could be the cause for them not being concerned over your wedding. Again, I'm sorry that you are going through this. FM me if you want to talk!

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Thank you so much for you honesty and view to my situation....FH just got off the phone with me and basically told me this is something we want and something we deserve and he is refusing to push the wedding back...He said we will find a way to deal with everything

I'm sorry you're going through this hon.

I agree with what the girls said about maybe just cutting down costs in certain areas of the wedding and using the extra money to move out a little earlier. I know you want a house, but maybe it would wiser to just have an apartment for now so you won't have to deal with problems at home.

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Posted by M_Berk-Glenn

2010 crasher here

Im so sorry your going through this.

If you are interested you can have a small destination wedding its less expensive and you can still have an actual ceremony (with min stress, if any at all). The people who will be there will be the ones who are there to support you on your day not stress you.

Im getting married on a cruise and it 1/4 the cost of a traditional wedding. If you have any questions feel free to FM me. I can give you a cost break dwn or just an ear if you want to vent

GL

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That doesnt sound like a bad idea Im going to give it a couple of days and see what happens