Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....Well everyone now the 'summer dog' has a pumkin shirt and a pilgrim hat on...

Original post by june262004

Sep 21, 2004 01:32 PM

We moved in upstairs from my cousins. They turned into the cousin from hell they act like 5 year olds. Im ready to move tomorrow. She sent me this email. We bought 70.00 worth of decorations yesterday. My husband took everything down like she asked and also took everything they had that the used like his tools from the shed our lawn chairs. He is going to take our lawn mower that they use and put it at my moms house. Im so upset. My husband is pissed.

Heres the email.. i can't believe this.

I was hoping to have heard from you by now but I guess you were busy or
maybe still asleep. Anyway I have to get this out, I was up all night
thinking about it.
When Dan and I looked at the house we had to decide whether we were going
to take the upstairs, or pay more and take the downstairs. The main reason
that we chose the downstairs was that for the first time in 6 years I would
have a front yard and garden that I could finally take care of and decorate
on my own. You have seen the hours, more like days, I have put into making
the outside of the house look just right.You guys stood there and watched
me pull all of those weeds out of the front, plant all the flowers just so,
and I have bought all kinds of lawn and garden things to decorate it. To
come home yesterday and see that you guys had completely taken over and
decorated for Halloween really upset me. I couldn't believe that you did
that. I know that it sucks to be the ones not living in the main part of
the house, I did it for 6 years, but it's just how it is. You guys live
upstairs and we live downstairs. Whatever you want to do upstairs do, but
the downstairs and the front of the house is something that I have taken a
lot of pride in and was just getting to the point where I was really happy
with the way it looked. Halloween is over 5 weeks away, I haven't even had
a chance to change my spring/summer stuff over to fall. I have a lot of
just fall stuff to put out before any Halloween stuff. It's just way to
early to have that stuff up yet. If you guys want to be involved when we
decorate in like 3 weeks you are more than welcome but to completely
disregard all of my hard work is just not OK. You didn't even ask me what I
was doing for the holidays. It was really unfair of you to do that. Please
take the Halloween stuff down today and I will let you know when I am going
to decorate and we can all do it together if you want to. I'm sorry if your
mad at me about this, I really wish you didn't put me in the position to
have to talk to you about it. I have waited to long to have a 1st floor of
a house and it's not right that you took it away from me.

I'll be around tonight or you can call me at work and we can talk about it.
I don't want to cause any trouble but I needed you to know and understand
how I felt.
I love ya Kris, I'm not mad just upset.

june262004 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Well we took everything down cause I was hysterical crying and no my spare bedroom is a mess cause it has everything we had downtairs in there. All the stuff from the shed too. mike was fighting with me about it he was like comeone can we put it back PLEASE...

boosh78201 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:44 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Well personally I would put the stuff back up, but let us know what happens tonight.

june262004 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:48 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

im scared to come home tonight. I don't really want to see her.

MrsTC Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:49 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Posted by june262004

im scared to come home tonight. I don't really want to see her.

is she that mean??

june262004 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:50 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

She never was until I was getting married. I can handle my own but I hate being in the fight with family u know.

boosh78201 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:50 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Posted by june262004

im scared to come home tonight. I don't really want to see her.

Will Mike be there when you get home? I wouldnt go alone, I would bring him with you.

june262004 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 02:51 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

no he works till midnight.

nferrandi Posted: Sep 21, 2004 03:12 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Please don't bite my head off but I really don't think this is something worth being upset over. First off, if she wasn't happy about the lawn situation than she should have come to you to discuss it. Second of all, I don't think there's any need for you to shed tears over this. You should just go talk to her and tell her, very matter-of-factly, that even though she lives on the ground level, that does not give exclusive rights to the lawn. Since you're both paying rent, and it's not like you're paying rent to her, you do not need her permission to decorate. I don't know how far you want to go with this, but if she's going to be difficult than maybe I would just 'give' her the front lawn and you can take the backyard. Granted, that means no decorating for you, but sumer will suck for them. That means, her kids can't play in your yard, they can't throw bbqs, etc.. If you DH is mowing the back lawn, then her DH better do the front- because since it's not your 'yard' why should you help maintain it? Be a tough a$$!

brideinapril Posted: Sep 21, 2004 03:13 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

You guys are funny.

tourist Posted: Sep 21, 2004 03:23 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Umm, I agree it is too early for halloween decorations, but really if the landlord lets you both use the yard, you can put stuff there too. You shouldn't have taken it down.

If she owned the house, I'd say she was right, because you aren't renting the front lawn, but really it is up to the landlord who can put what where.

t Posted: Sep 21, 2004 04:14 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Maybe if you just confront her and talk frankly. Like the landlord said 'XYZ' see if she would come to some sort of agreement and point out the fact that she has not lived on the second floor. or something like that. Have you been able to do the yard? or any yard if that is her problem. It really isnt worth it. I will not say swallow your pride because you will choke if you hold it in. I know I would be pissed too. But I would probably do what your doing.

Whoses shed was it? If it was theirs what about getting your own and store your stuff there. DO NOT give them the key under any circumstances. If they ask just say you lost it and need to get a new lock. DOnt ask if you can put the shed in the back Just do it. As far as the parking spot I wouldnt over look it, to me it is as if they are just stepping all over you and you have to stand up. I would tell them that ther ei s no parking outside and you need to get your car in or that you need to load a heavy package just take an extremely long time to go back to your car and do several things between the house and make it a point so they see you and go back inside and just do your normall thing as you would have.

JMO long winded I know.

matron Posted: Sep 21, 2004 06:07 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

So much for family being better to move in with than strangers. Do yourself a favor and move out before a family war begins. That's just not right, esp. to do it over e-mail.

Jenn524 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 06:23 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

She should have spoken to you in person. The email was a b.s way out. But I have to say that every instance I know with an upstairs/downstairs living situation the downstairs has the rights to all of the yards. It's hard because you don't have a lease but if I were living on the downstairs level I would assume that the yard was all mine.

The situation is very complicated because you're family so you don't want to get nasty with her. I think you should have mentioned to her something ahead of time before you started decorating and upstairs/downstairs doesn't matter. It's being considerate to the other people you live with. And that's probably the best way to handle it in a family situation especially when there's no clear cut definition of who's entitled to what.

As far as the parking goes I would say something to her. You pay for that spot. It's not right.

Scoop Posted: Sep 21, 2004 06:30 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Since she doesn't own the house, it should be a shared input by the two of you regarding decorations.

RedHead Posted: Sep 21, 2004 06:36 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Posted by don424

screw halloween and decorate the front of the house with christmas stuff

\

Have to say i agree...she isn't your landlord..so she can get upset if she wants...let her deal with it..

mishandgerard Posted: Sep 21, 2004 06:40 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Why can't you both decorate the front of the house??? I mean they did not have a problem using your stuff in the shed when needed, but it is a problem for you to decorate the yard?

suven Posted: Sep 21, 2004 06:47 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

my own thoughts here: from reading her email, it does sound like she was trying to express that she was upset, but without trying to make you upset.

I would let it sit for a little while. I made a similar mistake: I read an email, got extremely offended , and then started a fight over it.

Later, after a few days had passed and I reread the email, I saw that it wasn't as harsh as I originally interpreted it.

Just be careful

palebride Posted: Sep 21, 2004 07:02 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

I think you should speak with her and let her know that you dont' feel that it's fair for her to have the only use of the lawn - that you are both renters and should share the lawn.
If she doesn't like it, tell her the Christmas decorations are next in line to decorate the lawn and see what she does

june262004 Posted: Sep 21, 2004 09:50 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

Well I just got home and there is a message on the machine that says 'thanks for taking it down Kris I knew u'd understand' GRRRR I didn't understand.... She doesn't get it. she didn't get it when she noticed our lawn furniture gone?

If we were entitled to use the lawn. Then why should my husband have to mow it every other week? And why does her husband get to use my husbands lawnmower?

Well ladies im off to Vaccuum. Since the last time we vaccuumed at 8 30 she called and said it was to late. now it's 9:50 O well.

DAMN I spilled a box of cereal.

lvdolphins Posted: Sep 21, 2004 10:00 PM

Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....

I am speechless.
She sounds like a b*tch. Dont let hubby mow the lawn anymore! Like other posters had said, decorate for thanksgiving and christmas NOW! You dont pay HER rent, who is she to tell you how to decorate!!!
Some nerve!