Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....Well everyone now the 'summer dog' has a pumkin shirt and a pilgrim hat on...
Original post by june262004
We moved in upstairs from my cousins. They turned into the cousin from hell they act like 5 year olds. Im ready to move tomorrow. She sent me this email. We bought 70.00 worth of decorations yesterday. My husband took everything down like she asked and also took everything they had that the used like his tools from the shed our lawn chairs. He is going to take our lawn mower that they use and put it at my moms house. Im so upset. My husband is pissed.
Heres the email.. i can't believe this.
I was hoping to have heard from you by now but I guess you were busy or maybe still asleep. Anyway I have to get this out, I was up all night thinking about it. When Dan and I looked at the house we had to decide whether we were going to take the upstairs, or pay more and take the downstairs. The main reason that we chose the downstairs was that for the first time in 6 years I would have a front yard and garden that I could finally take care of and decorate on my own. You have seen the hours, more like days, I have put into making the outside of the house look just right.You guys stood there and watched me pull all of those weeds out of the front, plant all the flowers just so, and I have bought all kinds of lawn and garden things to decorate it. To come home yesterday and see that you guys had completely taken over and decorated for Halloween really upset me. I couldn't believe that you did that. I know that it sucks to be the ones not living in the main part of the house, I did it for 6 years, but it's just how it is. You guys live upstairs and we live downstairs. Whatever you want to do upstairs do, but the downstairs and the front of the house is something that I have taken a lot of pride in and was just getting to the point where I was really happy with the way it looked. Halloween is over 5 weeks away, I haven't even had a chance to change my spring/summer stuff over to fall. I have a lot of just fall stuff to put out before any Halloween stuff. It's just way to early to have that stuff up yet. If you guys want to be involved when we decorate in like 3 weeks you are more than welcome but to completely disregard all of my hard work is just not OK. You didn't even ask me what I was doing for the holidays. It was really unfair of you to do that. Please take the Halloween stuff down today and I will let you know when I am going to decorate and we can all do it together if you want to. I'm sorry if your mad at me about this, I really wish you didn't put me in the position to have to talk to you about it. I have waited to long to have a 1st floor of a house and it's not right that you took it away from me.
I'll be around tonight or you can call me at work and we can talk about it. I don't want to cause any trouble but I needed you to know and understand how I felt. I love ya Kris, I'm not mad just upset.
t
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Its not worth it. Take a deep breath.
Sometimes distance is the best thing even if you live upstairs. Have little contact as possible, which I know will be hard. Just try to seem busy all the time even if your not sooner or later she would get the hint. Unless she is really stupid. Go in and out and ignore her. Marriage and relationships always change people, some for the better some for the worse. Even having children do that too.
What has her husband said about all this?
Maribelle7777
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Kristin,
Do not babysit for your cousin anymore. Either do not answer the phone or take it off the hook but don't do it. You are not the automatic babysitter when the normal sitter is late.
Your cousin should have told you ages ago about her desire to want to be the landscaper and designer of the front lawn and to say 'do you mind if I put decorations out' or 'do you want to do them together' or something like that and expalin to you why she wants to be the controller of this. Big deal so she has the first floor doesn't mean she can decorate the yard as she sees fit, unless the landlord told her. And what is with the 'consulting' cr@p? I didn't know your cousin was Martha Stewart (if that was the case don't worry she's going to jail Oct 8th )
That is a great idea that mike took his tools and lawn mower out of the shed. Do not let them use it.
I would either say (or e-mail if you have different work schedules) 'I am sorry that my holiday decorations upset you so much. I had no idea that the landlord gave you exclusive use of the front lawn, otherwise I would not have put the three decorations on the lawn.
In addition, we've removed owr lawn mower and tools from the shed. This way you have room to put your own tools in it for landscaping the front lawn. Sorry we took up so much room with it.'
See this way you are showing her how petty she looks by saying how upset she was over the 3 decorations. 'Exclusive rights' of the yard is a dig because as far as you know she doens't have exlusive rights. If she does, you should have been informed of that when you took the apartment by the landlord. And the lawn mower removal thing shows that you know that while she thinks she has the right to decorate the yard herself or that you cannot do it w/o first consulting you, you know she's doing it with your mower and tools.
She sounds very petty. NOrmally I don't fight back with being petty but in this case sounds like taking the higher road wouldn't help.
I hope that she doesn't bother you anymore!
HearzBellz
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Oh yeah, I completely fogot anout the *built-in* babysitter....definately do not do this anymore.
I also agree with mary on the other points. That type of communication will either show her hoe petty she is being, or have her frustrated that she will not be able to use Mike's tools anymore....either way I think youget the point accross.
tina_cuse01
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Kristen, I am so sorry you have to deal with such childish behavior. She shoulds like she believes she is the house mother. Why does she believe she has any right to dictate to you how and when you decorate? Unbelievable!
Is there a way to section off the front yard? I know this sounds weird, but humor me....is there like a sidewalk the splits it or something? If I were you - next time you and hubby are home together I would go and put out your halloween stuff. It is your house and yard too, you pay rent as well. I could see if she owned the house and then rented it to you, but she doesn't. Plus the fact that your hubby and hers take turns mowing the lawn proves it is half yours.
Don't let her tell you what to do and do NOT shed another tear because of her, she is so not worth it.
Good luck sweetie!
tina_cuse01
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
One last thing - did she consult you when she put up her losey summer decorations a couple of weeks ago or when she planted the flowers?
I would assume she didn't, so why should you!
Imagin916
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Dont cry over this!! She is full of ****!! She does not own the house, she has no right to take ownership of the yard. If she wants it to be 'her' yard, than she should buy her own lawnmower, furniture, ect. Dont babysit for her anymore..She cant have her cake and eat it too..
Moehick
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Definitely take a break from them. Relax and don't make yourself available to be at their beck and call.
pschica
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
you odn't deserve this. i woudl do what everyone has said - don't babysit and i LOVE the email idea back!! stay strong hon and from perosn who has a crazy family to anohter - just be thankful you have such a wonderful partner to be ther with you through this! (I would say try not to cry too much over this anymore but who am i kidding i would be crying too!)
MizStinker
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
I think you should speak to her about this - it will be the only way to clear up any future 'misunderstandings'. If neither of you are paying more for the use of the yard - and both do yard work (planting flowers, mowing lawn) than it is indeed shared.
Therefore I think you should introduce her to 'switching' holidays at this point because we have established that you share the yard. Christmas/ New Years is next (jokes on her)
I urge you not to contact the landlord about this - it is petty and not his decision to make if you can reasonably work it out together.
june262004
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Thank you everyone.
JimmysBride
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
I'm coming into this a little late but I have to say that I totally understand why she is upset. You two should sit down and discuss this like adults -- no spite games about taking your lawnmower and this or that.
If you're SHARING the house... which is what I'm getting from this... then BOTH families should have a say in how the decorating is done on the outside.
JMO.
june262004
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Posted by JimmysBride
I'm coming into this a little late but I have to say that I totally understand why she is upset. You two should sit down and discuss this like adults -- no spite games about taking your lawnmower and this or that.
If you're SHARING the house... which is what I'm getting from this... then BOTH families should have a say in how the decorating is done on the outside.
JMO.
She really isn't into the sharing thing. She was pissed and told me take my stuff down cause she lives on the first floor and she gets use of the lawn (which is not true) If we can't use the front lawn and decorate the way we want just like the way she wants then why should my Dh have to mow the lawn that we can't use?
ETA: If she was an adult and when she saw me monday instead of her saying 'it looks cute i have more to add' she should have really told me how she felt instead. She acted like a 5 year old and waited till the next day to send an email. not even a phone call an email.
She also never consulted us on the ugly fencing she put up or the ugly lawn decorations she put up.
Jenn524
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
I agree that you should sit down and discuss this like adults. You're family. You don't want to treat her like an annoying neighbor and like a stranger.
As far as why did she make the comment and then change her mind, maybe she was caught off guard by you decorating. I have to say it is a little early to decorate. So maybe when she came home and saw it she didn't know how to react. Maybe she was really upset but wanted to get control of her emotions first.
And I'm sorry but I agree that you should have consulted with her first. Not to ask her permission but to let her know that you wanted to decorate and ask her if she had plans on doing it. To me that would have been the more considerate thing to do. When I lived in an apartment complex and someone wanted to decorate the front steps they asked the other people in the building.
lvdolphins
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Kristin, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Please relax, take deep breaths and be strong! I agree..Dont babysit anymore! As a matter of fact, dont do her any favors if thats the 'payback' your going to get! Best Wishes
june262004
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Uh OH my hubby just came home and said the summer dog now has on a pumkin shirt and a pilgrim hat. he is freaking out that that is thanksgiving.
marymoon
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
How about you just wake up saturday morning and decie to decorate for xmas? I'll help!
june262004
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
Posted by marymoon
How about you just wake up saturday morning and decie to decorate for xmas? I'll help!
LOL Thats what my husband said.
maralynne
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
i am so sorry.. this lady has gone off the deep end.. i would just confront her.. tell her that when you started renting the land lord told you that both tennents have use of the yard, driveway, shed etc... apartments seperate..yard to share and thats why you hubby takes a turn mowing the lawn... if it's her yard why would he mow it.. if she wanted to deorate together thats fine.. it should be that way but explain to her how asking you to take you decorations down made you feel.. you didnt ask her to get rid of the silly dog statue that you don't care for...she could have let it go and politly asked if next holiday you could pick a time to decorate together... maybe she just feels that she has decorations for fall that got skipped because you put out he holloween ones...for me halloween is one of the first signs of fall! the fall decorations would be fine with the halloween decorations.. try talking first.. if that dosent work tell her to have the owner of the yard call you to take down your decorations.. then put a santa hat on the dog!
i'm game for a TP party! Anyone else know how to Saran Wrap a car!!!
good luck!! FM if you need me to compose a LIW feild trip!
june262004
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
LOL thanks. i once shrink wrapped a car it was fun.
maralynne
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Re: Is she for real. now that I am hysterical crying. ....
ahhhh! another night owl!!! my wedding is in 6 weeks and now drama is starting!!! definatly say SOMETHING to her!!! I havent wrapped a car since college but i'd love to go back down memory lane!!!
