Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

So yesterday was FH's 30th b-day. I had planned on taking him out to dinner to LOB (He loves the steak there lol). I called and made reservations on tuesday. I texted him to let him know and he replies with ' oh my mom said that she wanted to take us out for my birthday... I thought we were going on the weekend...' Totally a cop-out. On top of that MIL KNEW that I planned on taking him out last night. I told him Id just move the reservation to the weekend if he wanted to go with them. Fine. Onto yesterday. Im running around getting the last few minute things for him and MIL calls me. 'Oh since I'm playing for your dinner would you mind picking up the tip?' ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?!?!? That is beyond tacky and disgusting. I pretty much yesed her to death to get her off the phone and proceeded to call one of my BMs to vent. I already felt stepped on and disrespected because she went over my head to FH and asked to take us out, but then to ask me something like that?! Dont do me any favors lady.. To add insult to injury, when the check came at dinner she paid for the ENITRE dinner using GIFT CARDS and coupons. So she legitimately didnt spend a DIME on her sons 30th birthday. Am I over reacting by feeling the way I do? I have NEVER disrespected this woman or done ANYTHING to her to bring this on... Im incredibly hurt and I dont know how to bring it up to FH because hes very protective over his mom... I just feel like this whole thing was an outright shun to me... Does she not realize that in just over a year I will be his WIFE? Dont I deserve more respect then this?

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

I can't believe she called and asked if you would pick up the tip!!! Did she ask you for the tip $ when the check came? I would def. bring it up to your fh and see what he says.

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

I just took the tip money out and put it on the table. I didnt want to cause a scene and to FH it just looked like I offered. I just dont know how to bring it up to him since hes so protective of his mom...

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

That's so weird. I mean I know with my FH at this point his money is basically my money - so in essence - it would be like he paid for his own tip.

If someone invites out than they should pick up the entire cost no matter the circumstance. If they can't afford to pay the tip then they shouldn't invite you out or they should bring you somewhere they can afford.

It's a stinky situation, but there are so many worse things in life - I wouldnt stress over this. Just tread carefully and if she becomes too overbearing just try to let her know how you feel in a nice way.

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

that is WAY beyond cheap and tacky and rude!!!

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

I agree that there are worse things in life, and yes, the tip thing bothers me and I think it takes tacky to a whole nother level, but what bothers me more is that she purposely asked him to dinner when she knew that I was planning on taking him... I just feel so disrespected and shunned about the whole thing

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

maybe her gift cards were expiring. lol

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by lauren1802

maybe her gift cards were expiring. lol

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Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by angelicd77

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Posted by lauren1802

maybe her gift cards were expiring. lol

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Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

Hes lucky he can turn on a computer let alone find this website lmao. Nobody in his family seems to understand that they need to back off.. its like the closer the wedding comes the tighter they want to hold on... its like um.. helloooooo hes 30 and getting married... ugh I cant take this!

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

I would take him out this weekend for his birthday and not bring up anything with his mother until after this weekend (it is his birthday week after all). You definitely need to discuss this with him because things will only get worse and boundaries need to be set.

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by sandr325

I would take him out this weekend for his birthday and not bring up anything with his mother until after this weekend (it is his birthday week after all). You definitely need to discuss this with him because things will only get worse and boundaries need to be set.

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I def wasnt going to say anything until after I took him. I just dont know how to approach it...

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by lauren1802

maybe her gift cards were expiring. lol

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lol!!!!! Too funny.

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by angelicd77

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Posted by sandr325

I would take him out this weekend for his birthday and not bring up anything with his mother until after this weekend (it is his birthday week after all). You definitely need to discuss this with him because things will only get worse and boundaries need to be set.

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I def wasnt going to say anything until after I took him. I just dont know how to approach it...

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is she always like this with you?

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

Your right - that brings tacky to a whole other level.

I have a problem biting my tongue though and probably would have said something to his mom about trying to take him out when she already knew what your plans were. Nothing rude or anything but enough to get your point across that you are annoyed.

I would discuss it with FH too because like you said, you are now his family and should be his first priority.

Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

I post on another site as well and someone just commented this on my post:

Sunfire (message) September 2012 US
@angelicd77: I honestly really do not understand what you're upset about. She is his mother. She took both of you out for dinner for his birthday. What a bad Mom for wanting to spend time with her son on his birthday. Asking you to get the tip? No big deal, at least not to me.

IMO you need to work on your attitude if you plan to marry this man or you're in for a long life of misery and battles. I have a 20-yr old son and if a woman thought of me the way you think of your FMIL he'd drop her at the curb and that would be that.

Seriously, chill out! She didn't do anything wrong.


Now I feel like Im being rediculous lol

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by Noelle2013

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Posted by angelicd77

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Posted by sandr325

I would take him out this weekend for his birthday and not bring up anything with his mother until after this weekend (it is his birthday week after all). You definitely need to discuss this with him because things will only get worse and boundaries need to be set.

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I def wasnt going to say anything until after I took him. I just dont know how to approach it...

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is she always like this with you?

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No thats whats really weird. We always had a fairly good relationship. Lately she seems to just be getting petty with stuff like this and I just dont get it...

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by angelicd77

I post on another site as well and someone just commented this on my post:

Sunfire (message) September 2012 US
@angelicd77: I honestly really do not understand what you're upset about. She is his mother. She took both of you out for dinner for his birthday. What a bad Mom for wanting to spend time with her son on his birthday. Asking you to get the tip? No big deal, at least not to me.

IMO you need to work on your attitude if you plan to marry this man or you're in for a long life of misery and battles. I have a 20-yr old son and if a woman thought of me the way you think of your FMIL he'd drop her at the curb and that would be that.

Seriously, chill out! She didn't do anything wrong.


Now I feel like Im being rediculous lol

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Don't listen to this lady, she sounds like a wacko.

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by db276952

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Posted by angelicd77

I post on another site as well and someone just commented this on my post:

Sunfire (message) September 2012 US
@angelicd77: I honestly really do not understand what you're upset about. She is his mother. She took both of you out for dinner for his birthday. What a bad Mom for wanting to spend time with her son on his birthday. Asking you to get the tip? No big deal, at least not to me.

IMO you need to work on your attitude if you plan to marry this man or you're in for a long life of misery and battles. I have a 20-yr old son and if a woman thought of me the way you think of your FMIL he'd drop her at the curb and that would be that.

Seriously, chill out! She didn't do anything wrong.


Now I feel like Im being rediculous lol

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Don't listen to this lady, she sounds like a wacko.

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The general consensus on the other site is that Im over-reacting and Im crazy. Whatever... I may be sticking it LIW permanently after this for my vents.. I like you guys way better

Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!

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Posted by db276952

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Posted by angelicd77

I post on another site as well and someone just commented this on my post:

Sunfire (message) September 2012 US
@angelicd77: I honestly really do not understand what you're upset about. She is his mother. She took both of you out for dinner for his birthday. What a bad Mom for wanting to spend time with her son on his birthday. Asking you to get the tip? No big deal, at least not to me.

IMO you need to work on your attitude if you plan to marry this man or you're in for a long life of misery and battles. I have a 20-yr old son and if a woman thought of me the way you think of your FMIL he'd drop her at the curb and that would be that.

Seriously, chill out! She didn't do anything wrong.


Now I feel like Im being rediculous lol

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Don't listen to this lady, she sounds like a wacko.

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--she's a wacko