So yesterday was FH's 30th b-day. I had planned on taking him out to dinner to LOB (He loves the steak there lol). I called and made reservations on tuesday. I texted him to let him know and he replies with ' oh my mom said that she wanted to take us out for my birthday... I thought we were going on the weekend...' Totally a cop-out. On top of that MIL KNEW that I planned on taking him out last night. I told him Id just move the reservation to the weekend if he wanted to go with them. Fine. Onto yesterday. Im running around getting the last few minute things for him and MIL calls me. 'Oh since I'm playing for your dinner would you mind picking up the tip?' ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?!?!? That is beyond tacky and disgusting. I pretty much yesed her to death to get her off the phone and proceeded to call one of my BMs to vent. I already felt stepped on and disrespected because she went over my head to FH and asked to take us out, but then to ask me something like that?! Dont do me any favors lady.. To add insult to injury, when the check came at dinner she paid for the ENITRE dinner using GIFT CARDS and coupons. So she legitimately didnt spend a DIME on her sons 30th birthday. Am I over reacting by feeling the way I do? I have NEVER disrespected this woman or done ANYTHING to her to bring this on... Im incredibly hurt and I dont know how to bring it up to FH because hes very protective over his mom... I just feel like this whole thing was an outright shun to me... Does she not realize that in just over a year I will be his WIFE? Dont I deserve more respect then this?
lauren1802
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Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!
Posted by angelicd77
I post on another site as well and someone just commented this on my post:
Sunfire (message) September 2012 US @angelicd77: I honestly really do not understand what you're upset about. She is his mother. She took both of you out for dinner for his birthday. What a bad Mom for wanting to spend time with her son on his birthday. Asking you to get the tip? No big deal, at least not to me.
IMO you need to work on your attitude if you plan to marry this man or you're in for a long life of misery and battles. I have a 20-yr old son and if a woman thought of me the way you think of your FMIL he'd drop her at the curb and that would be that.
Seriously, chill out! She didn't do anything wrong.
Now I feel like Im being rediculous lol
this is probably your FMIL or someone just like her. tacky.
vanillataco
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Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!
What an awful situation!! I would be so pissed! My future in laws consider me as family already and I would be so offended if they asked me to pay for the tip b/c they are paying for my meal. It's one thing if you're just splitting the check 50/50. To ask you to pay for tip is like telling you to pay for your own meal indirectly
Serenalee13
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Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!
Posted by vanillataco
What an awful situation!! I would be so pissed! My future in laws consider me as family already and I would be so offended if they asked me to pay for the tip b/c they are paying for my meal. It's one thing if you're just splitting the check 50/50. To ask you to pay for tip is like telling you to pay for your own meal indirectly
I agree! I would feel a little awkward. I think you have every right to feel the way you do!
Fanoula169
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Member since
Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!
Tackiness just rose to a whole new level...I wouldnt say anything only because its going to cause unesary drama and in the end you will turn out to look like the bad person. The mom will preach to her son how she wanted to celebrate his 30th bday and went out of her way to take you guys out and this is the thank you she gets....im just playing devils advocate but just be careful how you handle it because ur FH is protective of his mom. I would still be really pissed off though, you have every right to be.
KroertGS
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Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!
Posted by vppjzv
Does he read this site? He might already know!
I would be offended too, and I think that's rediculous especially since she paid in gift cards! It's a tough situation but my FH grandfather said to us that even though they're family, I'M FH's 'family' and everyone else is second now. He will have to be able to listen to you, and should be protective of you too as his wife at this point.
I completely agree. He can be protective over his mother, that's fine , but the spouse comes first. If I were in your shoes, I would say something.
KroertGS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is she for real?!?! VENT!!!!!!
Posted by angelicd77
I post on another site as well and someone just commented this on my post:
Sunfire (message) September 2012 US @angelicd77: I honestly really do not understand what you're upset about. She is his mother. She took both of you out for dinner for his birthday. What a bad Mom for wanting to spend time with her son on his birthday. Asking you to get the tip? No big deal, at least not to me.
IMO you need to work on your attitude if you plan to marry this man or you're in for a long life of misery and battles. I have a 20-yr old son and if a woman thought of me the way you think of your FMIL he'd drop her at the curb and that would be that.
Seriously, chill out! She didn't do anything wrong.
Now I feel like Im being rediculous lol
This lady can have fun taking care of her son for the rest of her life because no woman in their right mind will deal with a MIL like her. LOL. Boundaries and respect!!!
