I agree...it's an old school thing. It's not about being nosy, it's just used as a guide as to how to reciprocate for future affairs. And, that also doesn't mean to say to make sure to give less than what you might intend based on the what someone else gave. It may be to make sure you are as generous as people were to you.
I agree. My parents did this for my sweet 16 and I did it for my shower and for my wedding. My parents won't be spreading the word around but just want it for personal knowledge.
Oh no, I don't think it's for anyone else to see. Each set of parents would get a list for their own side and that's it.
roan126
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this appropriate??
I honestly dont think its anyones business besides mine and DH. I can understand if she was going to an event in the near future and she wanted and idea of what to give as a gift. But his ninety-something-year old aunt? Not to be mean, but what kind of event could she possiby be throwing in the future? Plus I think its an invasion of privacy for the guests. Some were overly generous, some not so much, and if it were me I wouldnt want someone sharing that information with other people.
GinaZ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this appropriate??
Ya I hate that and think its weird. but I guess it makes sense. Say her friend invites her to their childs wedding and they give $500 and then that family only gave you $200. It might make them feel bad and vice versa. Dont stress out over it. While it seems weird, it also can prevent hard feelings.
cbcf
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this appropriate??
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by smplynluv
Posted by Gigi08
I agree...it's an old school thing. It's not about being nosy, it's just used as a guide as to how to reciprocate for future affairs. And, that also doesn't mean to say to make sure to give less than what you might intend based on the what someone else gave. It may be to make sure you are as generous as people were to you.
I agree. My parents did this for my sweet 16 and I did it for my shower and for my wedding. My parents won't be spreading the word around but just want it for personal knowledge.
]
I think a sweet 16 is one thing - you are younger. But as a married woman, your finances, I believe, should not be disclosed to anyone. And this is part of your finances - yours and your new DH's. I don't plan on telling anyone who gives me what. You wouldn't for a birthday gift - why for a wedding? What Uncle Joe gives you should NOT determine what your parents give Uncle Joe's son when he gets married -- just my belief. It all goes back to my feeling that a gift is a gift and not an obligation, so there is no I'll-give-what-they-give. Sorry if I have offended anyone but I feel pretty strongly about this ...
i completely agree....FH told his dad what everyone got us for our e-party and we have already had talks about this, FH thinks it's ok to tell his parents what their side got us for our wedding. AND I DO NOT! It is Fh and my finances as yuo said...no reason to need to know. i guess it could be traditional but my parents never once asked. And as I said above in my other post I don't agree with that tit-for-tat thing ill give what you gave me...NO...a gift is not an obligation exactly. And I would never want my FIL's or my parents to think maybe less of a person or differently about a person because of their present to us!
Kimbalina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this appropriate??
my mom and i have always discussed what i have gotten as gifts. I think that now it might be diffrent because it is FH and my 'present'. But... i understand telling my parents what was given from their own side... IF there is an event coming up.. not just because they want to know
TrueLoveIn2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Is this appropriate??
Posted by cbcf
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by smplynluv
Posted by Gigi08
I agree...it's an old school thing. It's not about being nosy, it's just used as a guide as to how to reciprocate for future affairs. And, that also doesn't mean to say to make sure to give less than what you might intend based on the what someone else gave. It may be to make sure you are as generous as people were to you.
I agree. My parents did this for my sweet 16 and I did it for my shower and for my wedding. My parents won't be spreading the word around but just want it for personal knowledge.
]
I think a sweet 16 is one thing - you are younger. But as a married woman, your finances, I believe, should not be disclosed to anyone. And this is part of your finances - yours and your new DH's. I don't plan on telling anyone who gives me what. You wouldn't for a birthday gift - why for a wedding? What Uncle Joe gives you should NOT determine what your parents give Uncle Joe's son when he gets married -- just my belief. It all goes back to my feeling that a gift is a gift and not an obligation, so there is no I'll-give-what-they-give. Sorry if I have offended anyone but I feel pretty strongly about this ...
i completely agree....FH told his dad what everyone got us for our e-party and we have already had talks about this, FH thinks it's ok to tell his parents what their side got us for our wedding. AND I DO NOT! It is Fh and my finances as yuo said...no reason to need to know. i guess it could be traditional but my parents never once asked. And as I said above in my other post I don't agree with that tit-for-tat thing ill give what you gave me...NO...a gift is not an obligation exactly.
******And I would never want my FIL's or my parents to think maybe less of a person or differently about a person because of their present to us!
The area I starred above is SOOOO true. I would HATE for anyone to think less of anyone because they could only afford to give us a certain amount. Even if they are family, you never know what people are going through. You just don't. And I already know that some people in my family aren't the best 'givers' - even if they have it, they don't give a lot - and FH has told me about those in his family, so I am not going to be surprised. I am fine with that. A gift is a gift, regardless of the amount.
