So my MIL has sent me a list of her friends and family that attended the wedding, and asked me to let her know what each gave us as a wedding gift. I think part of her reasoning is because she wants to know what to give if she is invited to an event in the future, but that doesnt make sense for some of the people on her list. DH told me to send her the info, so I did, but I kind feel like its none of her business.
ALOT of ppl do this, and parents do ask for this info some are just curious and others just want to know what they have to give in the future...it seems to be the old school way and many do it.
that is a little strange, she could just ask, but if she wants it...whatever i guess.
Posted by Espo22
ALOT of ppl do this, and parents do ask for this info some are just curious and others just want to know what they have to give in the future...it seems to be the old school way and many do it.
yep - at our e-party our parents asked what certain people gave - to see if they gave back what our parents already gave to their kids and to know what to give when its their kids turn - im sure they will ask again about the wedding
I was planning on doing this for my own knowledge. I was just curious to see.
Totally normal. At least in my family. We don't want to over compansate or under. So we try to keep it within reason but not too much over to make the person feel bad if they can't do it in return. Example, my cousin spent $14.99 for my shower gift and now her shower is 3 weeks before my wedding and I will do a little more than that but I will not go overboard. As I am paying for a wedding.
Posted by Espo22
ALOT of ppl do this, and parents do ask for this info some are just curious and others just want to know what they have to give in the future...it seems to be the old school way and many do it.
A lot of parents ask for this info. I don't think it's a big deal.
My mom was outraged that when her friends daughter got married she DIDNT share what her family gave. I think this an old school thing....they are curious and also want o gage what to give in the future,,,it does seem wierd to me but apparentyl its normal in our parents generation HTH
Honestly, I would not provide that sort of info to my fmil or my own mother for that matter. heck fh & I will not even ask fbil & his wife what they received from people - that is not right.
Posted by Future Mulligan
yep - at our e-party our parents asked what certain people gave - to see if they gave back what our parents already gave to their kids and to know what to give when its their kids turn - im sure they will ask again about the wedding
i guess i am oblvious to the whole old school traditional thing- i personally think its rude to ask but then again i am not use to that way- had i grown up knowing this i would think it is okay to do - i guess your mil is just being traditional i dont think she means anything by it
My father asked me for the same list, and I have no problem giving it to him since he is paying for the wedding. Its not how I would choose to do things, but if FMIL wants a list of the people she invited , then fine , I wouldn't give her EVERYONE
FH's parents and mine asked. I kept a list for myself as well. Maybe it is the old school way, but people like to keep in gifting in mind.
Posted by Kerin2804
Honestly, I would not provide that sort of info to my fmil or my own mother for that matter. heck fh & I will not even ask fbil & his wife what they received from people - that is not right.
Posted by Gigi08
I agree...it's an old school thing. It's not about being nosy, it's just used as a guide as to how to reciprocate for future affairs. And, that also doesn't mean to say to make sure to give less than what you might intend based on the what someone else gave. It may be to make sure you are as generous as people were to you.![]()
Not a big deal. My parents will want to know too.
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Posted by smplynluv
Posted by Gigi08
I agree...it's an old school thing. It's not about being nosy, it's just used as a guide as to how to reciprocate for future affairs. And, that also doesn't mean to say to make sure to give less than what you might intend based on the what someone else gave. It may be to make sure you are as generous as people were to you.![]()
I agree. My parents did this for my sweet 16 and I did it for my shower and for my wedding. My parents won't be spreading the word around but just want it for personal knowledge.
