Is this crazy???

ginamarie1022 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:35 PM

Is this crazy???

I was just wondering if anyone else has heard of anything so silly...

Here's the situation...

Last Sunday, my fiance asked his brother-in-law to be one of his groomsmen and the brother-in-law happily accepted. Then a few days later, my fiance gets a wacky message from his sister (whose husband was asked to be in our bridal party). She leaves a long rampling message saying that her husband can't be in our wedding party because it's improper for a married man (her husband) to be walking down the aisle with someone that isn't his wife! She also said that she can't take care of their children alone that day, so she needs his help. Now, their children are 6 and 3, not infants! Plus they were going to be flower girls, so their dad would be taking care of them during picture time!

I am not going to let this ruin my mood or my big day, but I guess I have to vent Is it me or have you ever heard of anything as ridiculous as my FSIL's excuse not to have her husband participate in her own brother's wedding. Why is it that people get bitten by the obnoxious bug when other people get married?

kahlua716 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:40 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

I think that your FSIL is being ridiculous, but there's nothing you can do about it. maybe she's burned cause you didn't ask her?

Don't let it get to you...weddings can bring out the worst in people.

cookiemonster Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:40 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

OK, first of all, does she think that he's going to like the BM who walks down the aisle with him so much that they're going to run off and have some passionate affair in the bathroom during the cocktail hour?? They're going to be touching for all of 30 seconds! Second, the only time the FGs would be without Dad is when he's standing up with your FH, and then there's a roomful of people who will be 'watching' them so they won't get into any trouble! I think this is pretty ridiculous on her part and I can see why you'd be peeved! IMHO, she's either jealous b/c her DH and her kids were asked to be in the wedding and she wasn't, or she's just a little bit cracked. Either way I'm sure her DH and your FH will talk to her and things will work out fine, and it won't ruin your special day!!

twinkletoes807 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:41 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

She definitely sounds like she's overreacting. Weddings bring out the worst in people, I swear!! Good luck! Hope it all works out for ya!

PreshusSmurf Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:41 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Maybe she's trying to guilt you into asking her to be a BM?

Bride4Mike07 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:42 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

I think it is ridiculous! I've never heard of such thing! It's not like the person he's walking down the aisle is the person he's going to marry?! Or have other intentions with! What is wrong w/ her? Three of our GMs are married, and three of my BMs are married, and they're not walking down with their significant others...She's insane! Good luck sweetie...

Future Mrs. Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:50 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

The bottom line is, that she is insulted that she was not asked to be in the wedding party, and her husband (your BIL) was.

That's all it comes down to. If she were in your BP, this never would have happened.

I was in a very similar situation. My husband's brother was his best man; I did NOT ask his wife to be in my BP. I simply did not feel close to her at the time, and didn't feel it necessary to have her in my BP just to be nice. In all the time my husband and I dated, she never once reached out to me, never calls us, never once tried to forge any kind of relationship.......and it really was her duty to reach out to me since they were already married before DH and I even met.

Do NOT let this impact your big day in any way. And DON'T feel obliged to have her in your BP either. Its just one of those awkward situations. Let her and her husband handle it. If your BIL decides not to be in the wedding, then so be it.....no worries.

Soon2beMrsH Posted: Apr 30, 2007 08:54 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Maybe she is hurt that you did not ask her to be in your wedding? Or, she may just be insane with jealousy. Either way I hope everything works out. I'm sorry you and your FH have to deal with this.

wcollado Posted: Apr 30, 2007 09:02 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Posted by PreshusSmurf

Maybe she's trying to guilt you into asking her to be a BM?

i cosign

MrsRallis07 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 09:07 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

I completely feel for you. I was recently in the same boat as you are. I asked a good friend of mine to be a bridesmaid (her fiance is a friend of my FH) and he did not ask him to be a groomsmen. She accepted the offer even purchased the bridesmaid dress & shoes. Then a few weeks later she calls & tells me she can't be my bridesmaid if my FH isn't going to ask her fiance to be a groomsmen. I hate to laugh it off.
I thought it was ridiculous & I'm sad to say it actually ended our friendship. (all her doing)

There's nothing you can do. Trust me in the end she's the one that will look ridiculous for being so childish. Maybe she's jealous!!!

Kaytea Posted: Apr 30, 2007 09:28 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

i think she's just upset she's not in your BP.

It ***** to be the guest of someone in the BP because the guest would have to roam around while their significant other had to do the BP stuff. I felt terrible at my FH's brother's wedding. He was in the bridal party and I was forced to mingle with people I didnt know! It was so weird to be there.

AeroJenn Posted: Apr 30, 2007 09:38 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

wow....sounds like someone has a big trust issue with her husband who gives a hoot if your DH walks down the aisle with another woman for all of 30 seconds in someone else's wedding? It doesnt mean anything. wow....

HollyMac Posted: Apr 30, 2007 10:11 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Sadly, I have a crazy sister-in-law and she did the same thing only told my brother not to accept. They don't have any kids but I think she motivation behind it is the fact that she wasn't asked to be in the bridal party.

Knowing how crazy she is- I am soooo happy I didn't!

Some people are not happy until they try to ruin your day.

diva7531 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 10:37 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Wow, when they say that weddings bring out the worst in people, they mean it!!! Sounds like the big green head of jelousy rearing it's ugly head!!!! So sorry that this is happening to you, but def. don't let her bully you into asking, she sounds childish and rude and woudl prob ruin the vibe of your BP!!! GL

Leslie143 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 10:56 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

i honestly think maybe she is jealous that he gets to be in the wedding and not her?! she is acting immature, and i would be pissed if i was you. but dont let it get to you, im sure he can fond someone else to fill his place. goodluck hun

PegaLega Posted: Apr 30, 2007 10:58 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Posted by PreshusSmurf

Maybe she's trying to guilt you into asking her to be a BM?

This is what I think-definitely! She probably feels being that SHE is his sister she should be in it before her husband. Dont let it get to you!

ginamarie1022 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 11:02 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Thank you for your support, girls! I never even thought my FSIL would be insulted that I didn't ask her to be in my BP since I am am only having 3 girls - 2 being my sisters and 1 being my cousin. I am not even asking my close friends to be in it - I want to keep my BP small. My FH has 2 sisters so he asked their husbands to be his groomsmen. The one sister is acting all cuckoo and the other one is totally fine about the whole thing.

The worst thing about this is that my FH got so mad about his sister doing this that he told her that now he doesn't even want her girls to be flower girls for us.

SeptBride70 Posted: Apr 30, 2007 11:04 PM

Re: Is this crazy???

Posted by twinkletoes807

She definitely sounds like she's overreacting. Weddings bring out the worst in people, I swear!! Good luck! Hope it all works out for ya!

Agreed!

I can't believe this crazy girl.. she is upset if her DH walks down with someone else?!! I have never heard of such a ridiculous thing before!! I wouldn't care if Vin was in a wedding party and had to walk with someone else- that's insane!!

StarryEyedBride Posted: May 01, 2007 09:20 AM

Re: Is this crazy???

I think that's a silly reason for not being in the wedding, but I'm sure that's not the real reason. There's probably something deeper and she's just pushing excuses at you. Are you comfortable enough to talk to her yourself? If you are, maybe ask her whats up... or have FH do it if he's comfortable. I think one of you should talk to her..or both of you. This might be something you can work out.