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Is this crazy?

LoveRocks Posted:

Is this crazy?

FH and I, as well as the rest of our family, don't care for my brother's girlfriend for many legitimate reasons-- she's crazy and evil. We hope that she won't be in his life for much longer, but that's ultimately his choice.

Would it be insane of us to ask our photographer to PLEASE avoid taking pictures of her at the wedding? She's done enough damage in our family so far and I don't want to look at our wedding pics and see her face.
kellybean Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

Im sure people will disagree but absolutely not ...your day your pictures.....I wouldnt announce thats what your doing but you can def do it if you want!!

LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by kellybean

Im sure people will disagree but absolutely not ...your day your pictures.....I wouldnt announce thats what your doing but you can def do it if you want!!



I won't tell anyone except the photographer!
DavaDay Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

I'm kind of in the same boat with my sister. Nobody can STAND the person she's dating, but it's been 2 years and we've had to make peace with the fact that this is the person she's chosen, no matter how much it hurts us to see my sister suffer because this person is an a$$. Anyway. We've gotten into enough fights about this, and she's assured me that she's 25 years old and it's not my place to tell her who she can and can't date.

So what does this mean for my wedding photos? I will NOT ask the photographer to avoid taking pics of this couple. I never even thought of such a thing. That's drama that is completely unnecessary for my wedding. Plus, it means giving my sister's SO more attention than I'd care to give. So, let my photog take pics of the 'happy couple,' whatever, I'll just not put them in my album.

Sorry you're going through this too; I can empathize. But I don't see how you can tell your photog to do this and not let it 'slip' to your sister that this is happening, and it will only cause drama and sadness and anger that you don't need on your wedding day.
LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by DavaDay

I'm kind of in the same boat with my sister. Nobody can STAND the person she's dating, but it's been 2 years and we've had to make peace with the fact that this is the person she's chosen, no matter how much it hurts us to see my sister suffer because this person is an a$$. Anyway. We've gotten into enough fights about this, and she's assured me that she's 25 years old and it's not my place to tell her who she can and can't date.

So what does this mean for my wedding photos? I will NOT ask the photographer to avoid taking pics of this couple. I never even thought of such a thing. That's drama that is completely unnecessary for my wedding. Plus, it means giving my sister's SO more attention than I'd care to give. So, let my photog take pics of the 'happy couple,' whatever, I'll just not put them in my album.

Sorry you're going through this too; I can empathize. But I don't see how you can tell your photog to do this and not let it 'slip' to your sister that this is happening, and it will only cause drama and sadness and anger that you don't need on your wedding day.



I'm sorry you have to deal with a similar situation and I really do appreciate your honesty
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

I think if that's what you want - just tell your photographer.. if she gets a bit suspicious or whatever just have one single picture with her in it...that way she won't be in the loop of what you're trying to do.

When you get your proofs just don't choose that particular photo.
LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I think if that's what you want - just tell your photographer.. if she gets a bit suspicious or whatever just have one single picture with her in it...that way she won't be in the loop of what you're trying to do.

When you get your proofs just don't choose that particular photo.



Good point about just not choosing a proof with her in it. And I doubt that she'll get suspicious since she's usually high as a kite and totally out of it
Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

Ummmm when FH's sister got married I was not asked to be in any of the family photo's.....they are FAMILY photographs and at the time I was just FH's girlfriend......the only pictures I am in are candid pictures where we are dancing and stuff...I dont think there is any reason for this person to be in photos at all - she isnt family yet - a girlfriend of two years shouldnt be in pictures IMO....i dont think its rude of you at all.....i think its rude for this girl to assume she is going to be in pictures!! Unless of course, you asked her to be in your BP or something like that.....

good luck!
davenjess Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by kellybean

Im sure people will disagree but absolutely not ...your day your pictures.....I wouldnt announce thats what your doing but you can def do it if you want!!



I agree completely with Kelly - but would tell NO ONE except the photographer!
LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by Future Mulligan

Ummmm when FH's sister got married I was not asked to be in any of the family photo's.....they are FAMILY photographs and at the time I was just FH's girlfriend......the only pictures I am in are candid pictures where we are dancing and stuff...I dont think there is any reason for this person to be in photos at all - she isnt family yet - a girlfriend of two years shouldnt be in pictures IMO....i dont think its rude of you at all.....i think its rude for this girl to assume she is going to be in pictures!! Unless of course, you asked her to be in your BP or something like that.....

good luck!



She already said something to my mom that she's excited about the 'family portrait' and that she'd like a copy so I guess she thinks she will be included! I don't feel like it is appropriate at all since they are dating-- not engaged-- and she's not in the bridal party-- although she did ask to be in it. Sure, candid shots are fine, but she's a huge picture whore so there has to be some boundaries.
LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by davenjess


Posted by kellybean

Im sure people will disagree but absolutely not ...your day your pictures.....I wouldnt announce thats what your doing but you can def do it if you want!!



I agree completely with Kelly - but would tell NO ONE except the photographer!



It will be mine and FH's little secret
Summertimegal424 Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

ha i wish i could do that to FH whole family!

LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by COwens424

ha i wish i could do that to FH whole family!



FH and I both have some winners in our families
BoxOfRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

I think it's OK to ask the photographer to take some photos only of the family. I'm sure they've encountered this situation before. To make it more subtle, maybe you could take some with the offensive SO and some without--then, none of the proofs with her wind up in the album.

LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by BoxOfRocks

I think it's OK to ask the photographer to take some photos only of the family. I'm sure they've encountered this situation before. To make it more subtle, maybe you could take some with the offensive SO and some without--then, none of the proofs with her wind up in the album.



Yeah, I'm sure they hear this shiit all the time!
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by LoveRocks


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I think if that's what you want - just tell your photographer.. if she gets a bit suspicious or whatever just have one single picture with her in it...that way she won't be in the loop of what you're trying to do.

When you get your proofs just don't choose that particular photo.



Good point about just not choosing a proof with her in it. And I doubt that she'll get suspicious since she's usually high as a kite and totally out of it



LoL I know the type.. a friend of mine had to deal with something similar and just told her photographer to take like one or two pictures with him (the brides cousin) in them so that he's none the wiser.
When she got the proofs back (since they had like over 400+ proofs) she just didn't choose one with that cousin in them, but the rest of the family was at least happy he made it into a couple of picutres but didn't know the situation with the cousin. So in essence all were happy in the end.

Glad I can be of help
LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by DGoldfarb0776


Posted by LoveRocks


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I think if that's what you want - just tell your photographer.. if she gets a bit suspicious or whatever just have one single picture with her in it...that way she won't be in the loop of what you're trying to do.

When you get your proofs just don't choose that particular photo.



Good point about just not choosing a proof with her in it. And I doubt that she'll get suspicious since she's usually high as a kite and totally out of it



LoL I know the type.. a friend of mine had to deal with something similar and just told her photographer to take like one or two pictures with him (the brides cousin) in them so that he's none the wiser.
When she got the proofs back (since they had like over 400+ proofs) she just didn't choose one with that cousin in them, but the rest of the family was at least happy he made it into a couple of picutres but didn't know the situation with the cousin. So in essence all were happy in the end.

Glad I can be of help



It will all work out and besides, she may be passed out after CH
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

HA!
mariaobride Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?

i dont think it will be crazy why have photos of someone on your most important day that normally makes you miserable - trust me it will be done professionally by the photographer she wont even know and if she does too bad

LoveRocks Posted:

Re: Is this crazy?


Posted by mariaobride

i dont think it will be crazy why have photos of someone on your most important day that normally makes you miserable - trust me it will be done professionally by the photographer she wont even know and if she does too bad



That's exactly how we feel about it! And you're right-- I'm sure the photograppher won't make it obvious and too bad if she does realize it

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