My FML thinks this is odd... then again, she thinks everything I do is odd...
I don't want a bo-k toss or garter toss... anniversary dances are okay, but I had an idea...
I asked my FMIL and my mom what their first dance songs were and the dates of their weddings. At some point in the wedding the DJ will say something like 'Ladies and Gentlemen will the parent's of the groom please step out on the floor - on such and such date 1962 Tom and Lily danced their first dance as a married couple to I Love You by someone' So then they would dance a few seconds into it, photographer would snap some shots and the DJ would invite the rest of the guests onto the floor. Then maybe after dinner the same would be done for my parent's first dance song. I thought it was really cute...
It takes about as much time as the corney and out dated tosses - sorry, but at my age my friend's don't want to be reminded or made a spectacle of b/c they are single. As someone who is getting married for the first time at almost 34 years old, I always hated the stupid tosses... it's like - yes, I'm always a BM never a Bride... why don't you just stick me in the middle of a dance floor and throw something at me that maybe I'll catch so I can finally get married. You may think I'm crazy, but my single friends I know will be VERY grateful. I don't know any single girls who don't wish that they weren't hitched. Not saying they don't exist, they just don't exist in my circle. My older single friends are freaking out as is about the possibility they may never marry or have kids... lets just point that out at the wedding for 'tradition' sake.
raema29
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Re: Is this so wierd?
i am def not doing the bok toss or garter toss ... i think i will do the anniversary dance but your idea is very cute & different ... i like it
carolinebr
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Re: Is this so wierd?
I am not throwing the bo-k for the EXACT same reason.
Mssissy
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I think it's a GREAT idea!
madseason
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I love your idea! Make it your own! the toss and garder, although traditional, are kind of corny and can be very embarassing to some ppl, believe me...
AeroJenn
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I think its a wonderful idea. I am doing the bo-k toss, but I will also be doing a special dedication to all the couples celebrating anniversaries and I'll have the DJ play my parents wedding song (since they are celebrating 25 years 2 weeks after our wedding). Go for it sweetie -- i think your parents will feel honored (and FILs should too).
Ilovebriani
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i like your idea too! i agree that a lot of people dont really like getting up for the bok toss. my group of friends is similar, so i dont know how well a bok toss would go for me either. your idea is very cute though. a nice tribute to both of your parents and something different! Go for it!!
TLC1018
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I think it is a great idea and love when people personalize the wedding to themselves...
Mrs.Ptobe
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One WOULD think that my FMIL would feel honored when I try to do things to include her, but instead I get 'ooookay? I've never heard of that or seen that before'. It's like a disapproving 'oookkkaayyy'. So she hasn't seen stuff before, does that make it wrong?
I also asked her if her and her husband would like to walk FH down the aisle... again I got 'oookkkaayy, I've never seen that before'. Like I asked her to hang from a cliff or something!
Meanwhile I was 'blessed' with her saying about going dress shopping... 'now where did I buy my dress for the first one?' In other words, FH's first wedding... like I need to hear about that? That she loves to throw in... I'm going to be the 'second one' the rest of my life and we'll always have to hear about the 'first one'. FH NEVER talks at all about his first wedding - THANK GOD!!! Sorry, I had a venting moment there. You just don't know how bad I want to tell her that I don't want to hear 'the first one' ever again!
portjeffbride
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Re: Is this so wierd?
Posted by Mrs.Ptobe
One WOULD think that my FMIL would feel honored when I try to do things to include her, but instead I get 'ooookay? I've never heard of that or seen that before'. It's like a disapproving 'oookkkaayyy'. So she hasn't seen stuff before, does that make it wrong?
I also asked her if her and her husband would like to walk FH down the aisle... again I got 'oookkkaayy, I've never seen that before'. Like I asked her to hang from a cliff or something!
Meanwhile I was 'blessed' with her saying about going dress shopping... 'now where did I buy my dress for the first one?' In other words, FH's first wedding... like I need to hear about that? That she loves to throw in... I'm going to be the 'second one' the rest of my life and we'll always have to hear about the 'first one'. FH NEVER talks at all about his first wedding - THANK GOD!!! Sorry, I had a venting moment there. You just don't know how bad I want to tell her that I don't want to hear 'the first one' ever again!
Ah yes, there's a special kind of charm only FMIL's can convey..... Since misery loves company, let me share one of my FMIL moments:
FMIL to FH: This relationship is a mistake. You will soon realize your mistake and find a good (polish) girl. You will tire of FW. She is too old and heavy. She has nothing to offer (FFIL sits nodding in the corner in agreement ) Notice how they judge women? They have to be young and pretty... absolutely nothing about morals, personality, or education! alas, that's why I can't take them seriously...
Just let it go. That is the function of in-laws... to test your dignity, civility, and self-respect. Don't let them pull you down to their level of behavior. always maintain the moral highground, and you will conquer!
TreAnt425
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Re: Is this so wierd?
I am probably doing the anniversary dance instead of the bok and garter toss - they are just not my thing
Munchkn16
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Posted by TreAnt425
I am probably doing the anniversary dance instead of the bok and garter toss - they are just not my thing
same... my friends and i were so reluctant to do the bo-k/garter thing at a friend's recent wedding; i can't inflict it on all the same people again.
Mrs.Ptobe
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Posted by portjeffbride
Ah yes, there's a special kind of charm only FMIL's can convey..... Since misery loves company, let me share one of my FMIL moments:
FMIL to FH: This relationship is a mistake. You will soon realize your mistake and find a good (polish) girl. You will tire of FW. She is too old and heavy. She has nothing to offer (FFIL sits nodding in the corner in agreement ) Notice how they judge women? They have to be young and pretty... absolutely nothing about morals, personality, or education! alas, that's why I can't take them seriously...
And I am much prettier than FH's ex (granted I'm a year or 2 older), not to sound conceited, but his ex even said it once if you can believe that!... I'm so with you on how we are judged, my mother and father would never say these kinds of things to FH. I bend over backward for FMIL, whereas his ex abuses her (there's a child that's why she even talks to her). But every opportunity she can FMIL has to remind me that FH was married before... I KNOW, WHO CARES? DROP IT!!!! 'But she's the mother of my grandchild'... UGGGHHH!
I'm sure you have plenty to offer that's why your FH is with YOU!
donegal419
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oh my god... I LOVE this idea! i am definitely going to have the band play my parents' song! how sweet!!!
Mrs.Ptobe
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I'm glad this idea is a good one after all...
milana
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thats a great idea!!
I am also not doing the garter or bok toss simply because i dont really like it
giannismomma05
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I love the idea ... Its your wedding go for it ..
Autumn08
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I'm 23 and I never like nor participated in the BoK toss. Ok maybe when I was 9 but I didnt' catch it. I don't want to do it at my wedding and would rather the anniversary dance.
jaiese
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Re: Is this so wierd?
Your idea is great. I'm not doing the bouquet or garter toss. Unfortunately, there's lots of divorce in my family, so anniversary dances aren't really going to work for me, but I think it's an excellent substitute for you. Great idea!
MattandTricia07
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Re: Is this so wierd?
My sister did this at her wedding...she had my parents' wedding song played and her in-laws wedding song played- it was really nice. My mom was tearing up and her in-laws looked so cute!! She didn't do the whole toss thing either, which I am also not a big fan of- just not me. We're going to do the anniversary dance and play their wedding songs.
