It might be over

It might be over

FH and I have been having some serious conversations. We have been dating for eight years. We have been a great couple. We have realized some differences that can become serious problems later on. Tonight he toold me that we have worked out great as boyfriend/girlfriend but he has doubts that we will be great as husband and wife. This all revolves around finances. You know how they say that can be the biggest problem in a marriage. He is afraid that our difeerences can result in divorce.

I am so upset and I don't know what we can do to save this!

Re: It might be over

Re: It might be over

awwww hang in there sweetie! Why don't you go see a counselor and have a third party help you work it out ~ like couple counseling....

Re: It might be over

Very sorry but if your together that long maybe you could work it out with counseling?

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Thanks for the support! I just don't know if we can fix our problem. I am more conservative with my money and he is risky. This can affect us in the future!

Re: It might be over

i am sorry to hear that.....but maybe talking to some one might help see what you can do to work it out!

Re: It might be over

Re: It might be over

I'm so sorry

I know financials can be extremely difficult. I used to be extremely conservative with my money a/k/a cheap, and FH just spended it like it's water.

There are ways to compromise and you've been dating 8 years, it shouldn't be what sets you apart.

Try spending on something you would never, or have him save at a time he would never think of. Eventually, there will be an understanding and it will hopefully work out.

Good Luck and I'm so sorry to hear this news.

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As a business woman in finance I would recommend like the other ladies to seek help from a third party - You would be suprised as to how they can help the issue once things are put on paper and discusses. It is worth a try to save your relationship

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Try to work it out, and try to get some help.

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i'm so sorry..

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Posted by kfox715

Thanks for the support! I just don't know if we can fix our problem. I am more conservative with my money and he is risky. This can affect us in the future!

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Sorry to hear about this!!!

I know just want you mean about Fh being risky and me being conservative... I have been dealing with the same problem, but I dont think its something that should break the 2 of you up!!

Listen, my parents have been married almost 30 yrs and my mom is the 'I have to pay off the entire credit card bill like weeks before it is due, even if it means we're left with $0 to spend...' And my dad is total opposite... he goes out and has to have his 'toys' (aka cars, trucks, boats, etc etc) He is suchhhh the spender, but somehow they have always made it work....

Now with my FH... when an idea pops into his head, hes just gotta run with it... He does not contemplate anything before he buys it and it annoys the **** outta me... so now I tell him 'Let the idea simmer for about a week. If you still feel that strongly about what you want to buy, then get it...' (By then the fleeting moment has faded and we all save some $$)

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I truly believe that if a person goes out and works, the other should back off when it comes to spending. Sure we make a lot of decisions together, but I know there are things I buy that could go to better places, but FH doesn't say anything b/c I work my butt off. Likewise when he buys something I think is a little over the top, I don't bug him b/c I know he works hard. I just think you have to find a happy medium... that is what a counselor is going to advise you to do anyway. I think it's better (and happens more often or not) when both people don't have the same attitdues toward money - as long as it's not a real problem, like bankruptsy, gambling or constant state of high debt and/or someone doesn't work and relies on the income of the other. Just my 2 cents.

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I am so sorry to hear you are having problems. I agree with the rest, I think if you both love each other and don't want to see this relationship end, I would try counseling. Finances are tough....It is one of the hardest things to blend together...probably even harder then in-laws...well....idk i guess they tie....but I would try speaking to someone. It def. can't hurt. HTH

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good luck hun...i am sure the two of you will work things out.

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I'm sorry

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I think a counselor could help. If you two are willing to work on it, your marriage will work.

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OMG .. No ... I hope everything went good last night and realized that you cant live with out eachother... However I do know what you mean FH calls me cheap all the time & i think he thinks a lamborgini is more important than a house sometimes but I feel everything can be worked out except lying and cheating. maybe you should always keep a separate bank account in a different bank for yourself so you can feel a litttle secure...