Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

wacky Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:31 PM

Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

How to tell if you're a Goombah:

All Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $179 stove from
American Appliance in the basement to cook.

Strohmeman and Wonder was for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches only.

There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living
room,front,porch and backyard.

A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining room.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco
American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can (tomato paste is
the exception).

The following are Italian Holidays- First weekend in October- Grapes for
the Wine, 3rd weekend in August- Tomatoes for the Sauce Speaking of
which, it's Sauce and not Gravy.

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. We are Italians, we don't
care about cholesterol so turkey is an infamnia.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi,lasagna.

If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap em in the face--its SHCAROLE for
that matter, if they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know
that there is no wedding nor is their an Italian in the soup. Also, the
tiny meatballs must be made by hand.

No matter how hard you know you were going to get smacked, you still
came home from church after communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread in
the gravy pot, snuck out a fried meatball and chowed down- you'll make
up for it next week at confession.

Sunday dinner was at 1:00

Getting screamed at by mom- half the sentence was English, the other
half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you
in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen, while you're in the
living room.

alina Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:33 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

This is hillarious, even for non italians

wacky Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:34 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Glad you liked Alina, I didnt want to be scolded.

alina Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:37 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Scolded, for what?

We all have our first amendment in mind

wacky Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:39 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Alina I was just kidding. I was a royal pain the arse today, but I love saying things that stir the pot.
'
'It makes for an interesting day. Yes I do need mental help

kmcwed Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:42 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Too funny Wacky.

You're in rare form today!!

MrsBtoBe2005 Posted: Oct 22, 2003 06:51 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Good one Wacky!

WithThisRing Posted: Oct 22, 2003 07:18 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

hysterical....

I love it

Half sounds like my own family

SweetCin704 Posted: Oct 22, 2003 07:26 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Too funny & I'm not even Italian.

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Claud2001 Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:25 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

I happened to get a big laugh at that...and I am Italian. Wacky, where did you find that?

wacky Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:29 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

A friend, I thought it was hysterical. Especially the mom with the shoe

Wendy Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:33 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

LMAO!!!! This is so funny! I'm not Italian either (Irish) but I had some Italian friends growing up and this is so true!!

jenny2penny Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:42 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

You forgot to mention the plastic cushion covers to protect the couch

wacky Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:43 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

jenny

boosh78201 Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:49 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Very funny, I am italian and the getting yelled at in English and Italian has happened to me many a time

wacky Posted: Oct 22, 2003 08:50 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

me too my mom still yells in both

IrishTracy Posted: Oct 22, 2003 10:02 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

My BF is Italian Her family was considered my 'second family' And boy o' boy this brought back memories!! SO funny!!!

Misty Posted: Oct 22, 2003 10:04 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Abso-freakin-lutely hilarious.

anna Posted: Oct 22, 2003 10:19 PM

Re: Italian Joke Dont read if you dont laugh at stereotypes

Wacky, I love your 'stirring the pot' personality

I can relate VERY well to just about all of those!!

As I was feeding my son Stage 3 Gerber food today, I thought 'ugh if my mom saw this now'. ITs pretty much 'chef-boy-ar-dee' looking stuff... She gets SOOO ANNOYED (and disgusted and offended) when she sees me feeding it to him, telling me to give the poor kid REAL FOOD
I DO give him 'real' food, those jars just come in handy as I wean him off baby food altogether!

LOL about the million dollar kitchen. Id tailor that sentence to 'sicilians' because amongst Italians, we tease our sicilan friends about being the more flashy (the older generations can even be called 'gaudy' ) homes and styles of dress...

Mom's got those statues EVERYWHERE and you better not look at it and NOT kiss it!
Oh, at the feasts, dont you DARE walk passed the Saint's Statue and not put at least a dollar!

Ragu ?? UGGHHH. I can just hear my mother as she walks the aisles of the supermarkets.

Thanksgiving - SO TRUE. I never make it to the turkey, Thats why my only memories of turkey are the next days leftovers

Soup - I have some of those tiny handmade meatballs of my moms right in my freezer, for anytime I wanna make that soup. I forgot it was called wedding soup.. We have it at least at every occasion..

Church-GOD FORBId YOU ATE before church!
Youre supposed to have communion 'a digiuno' (on an empty stomach).. but God forgave us because we were children

Half English-half italian? My nieces have caught on to that lingo. and are pretty darn good at it, even teaching my hubby to speak that way!

Those were all hilarious.. I can go on and on..