It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Original post by Thrilled

Mar 05, 2003 09:03 AM

This is purely meant as a faith thread in honor of the beginning of Lent - not meant to be exclusionary or anything. And I know faith is an intensely personal topic, so if you share, I thank you in advance for putting it out there.

As some of you know, I am converting to Catholicism and will be confirmed on Holy Saturday. I'm really excited about the whole shebang and for the first time in my life, am really sitting down and thinking about what Lent means, what penance means, and what Jesus is calling me to do. FH is a cradle Catholic and went to 16 years of Catholic school and finds my faith journey 'cute,' which irritates me. I think he's barely aware that it's Lent...

anyone?

Samanthas Mom Posted: Mar 05, 2003 11:00 AM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

and I have a question
sent u forum mail.....

nylisa Posted: Mar 05, 2003 11:05 AM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Rachel: If you would like to teach the children of your parish, all you need to do is speak to a priest of a sister in the parish and they will tell you who to speak to. You need to go to special classes in order to teach but, it is totall worth it. If you have any questions, let me know.

WithThisRing Posted: Mar 05, 2003 11:09 AM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

My father is Jewish and my mother is catholic. I was raised catholic.

It was great growing up and learning about both religions.

Though now I am far from practicing (yet I am having a full mass for my wedding because both our mothers are practicing catholics and we thought this would be a nice thing to do for them)

I gave up and lost complete faith in my religion. Both my fathers and my mothers. I stopped believing in my faith 6 years ago and it just turned me very bitter towards religion. I can count on one hand how many times i have been to church in the last 6 years. I go to temple every year with my dad for Yom Kippur.

To me it just feels like a regular day of the year. Though I did go to the feast of Saint Blaze which is the blessing of the trought. If I didnt, my mother would have strangled me.

So today just feels like any other day of the year. I eat meat on Fridays, and the last time I went to confession was when I made my confirmation.

Sorry to be the downer, but I have a lot of personal issues with faith and nothing has ever been able to change it.

tracyg Posted: Mar 05, 2003 11:26 AM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

I hear ya ChippTriD. I myself am Protestant (grew up Baptist, dads a minister, and got confirmed a Methodist). My FH is Jewish. I don't go to church. I believe in God but i believe a lot of the bible is a nice fable. I don't take it for fact. Thats why i have trouble with the Catholic faith. A lot (not saying all) of Catholics believe that if its in the bible its the truth and must be followed. A lot of the bible is very vague and can be open to interpretation... and thats where the trouble begins. If I were Catholic I would have a problem with someone telling me I can't use birth control.

Thats why I have problem with religion as a whole. All this 'i'm right, you're wrong!!' 'you're going to hell if you don't believe in this' I believe in a little of each religion out there.

kptoys Posted: Mar 05, 2003 11:51 AM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

I am catholic. I was baptised, received first communion and was confirmed. My dad died when I was 13 and I have been having doubts about God for over 10 years now. It makes me angry that someone who is supposed to have unconditional love for you will cause you so much pain.
I believe in God still but Im still hurt.
Im not getting married in a church and I think that bothers my mom... but these are my feelings.

Anniegrl Posted: Mar 05, 2003 12:11 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

I'm glad we're talking about this, because FH and I had a HUGE fight about Catholicism right before we got engaged. He knew from the get-go that I was Catholic but I guess because I don't go to church on a regular basis he didn't realize how much it meant to me to be Catholic (I'm trying to get back into it - going to mass tonight!)
Anyway, he tells me a couple of months ago that he thinks getting baptised as an infant is wrong, and that's how the whole fight started. He was raised Episcopalian, but turned into a straight Christian. He believes any denomination of Christianity is wrong, with Catholicism being the worst. He's the type of person that doesn't shut up until he proves that he's right, so hearing all this stuff for the first time about Catholicism really hurt and I was considering ending things with him because I just couldn't see marrying him in a Catholic church knowing how he felt.
Things are ok now, but I'm still uncomfortable with how he feels. I know he has the right to his own opinions, but the way that he attacked my faith so vehemently not only made me question our relationship, but my faith as well. I'm a 'cradle Catholic' too I guess, haven't really studied much about Catholicism since CCD. FH says Catholics are ignorant, that we have 'blind faith' because we don't even understand Christianity. That's true in my case, and its made me start to learn all over again about my faith.
For those of you that converted to Catholicism, can I ask why you did?

tracyg Posted: Mar 05, 2003 12:21 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

One thing to do, is really READ the bible. And I mean King James version, where its not interpreted to slant towards any belief.
I re read a lot of the Bible for a Literature class... and it opened my eyes to see all the things that certain religions believe REALLY aren't spelled out in the Bible. Its INTERPRETED that way. Original sin isn't defined in the bible. And it doesn't say in the Bible that Mary NEVER had sex. It's even hinted that she had other kids. It's interpreted that way, and original sin wasn't really made what the Catholics believe it is until St. Augustine.

Anniegrl Posted: Mar 05, 2003 12:27 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Yup, that's one of the points (original sin) that FH brought up during our argument. He said Catholics just made that up along with a bunch of other things. I'd never heard that before.

AlisonMT Posted: Mar 05, 2003 12:32 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Oh Annie, I am so sorry to hear that. That really hurts. I only have a sec b/c I am checking in between meetings but please FM me if you want to talk more about this. I'm not sure I can help from the religion side (I was raised Catholic but am more of a Christian and Matt and I are considering exploring options together to decide what makes the most sense for us both), but I am more than willing to listen and provide support.

Anniegrl Posted: Mar 05, 2003 12:45 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Thanks Alison!
I FM you.

Thrilled Posted: Mar 05, 2003 01:18 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Hi Annie,
I'm sorry your FH gives you such a hard time about Catholicism. I think it always good to question one's faith, because it is my belief that questioning faith strengthens it. I do not, however, think it is fair to question other's faith. As I stated above, faith is an intensely personal topic and it isn't fair to pass judgment on others (like we keep trying to tell the terrorists who hate us for the simple fact that they view us as sinners who don't believe what they do). That being said, I'm sure your FH is a lovely man who is only trying to look out for you. Tell him it isn't fair to condemn or bash you though.
As to his contention that Catholics don't understand Christianity, I would only ask that he attend a few prayer meetings or Bible lessons (fat chance right?) at a Catholic Church before making that statement. Mary, by very definition, was the world's first Christian. I was raised Episcopalian and am converting to Catholicism because of its intense spiritual aspect, and that was someting I was looking for and needed in my life.

jennbaby Posted: Mar 05, 2003 01:21 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Congrats Rachel!

starhead Posted: Mar 05, 2003 01:43 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

I was raised Methodist, actually had to go to both religion class during the week and Sunday school and hated it. I do not agree with or practice any sort of organized religion as a result. I almost feel that if I wasn't so forced into it, I might be more willing to go to church sometimes but it totally turned me off to it. So I would say I'm an aethiest. Thankfully, this if fine w/ FH who was raised catholic and went to catholic high school (for the hockey program) and he feels the same as me. Personally, I have faith, in myself and my friends and family. That's all I need!

LisaT Posted: Mar 05, 2003 01:55 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

I was raised catholic - we used to attend mass every Sunday while I was growing up (till I was about 9). Did CCD and had my communion and confirmation - even had a full mass at my wedding (but that was my alter boy of a husband's choice - he grew up in catholic schools).

I don't know if I would qualify as a practicing catholic (either would DH anymore). I have faith, and believe in God, but I don't necessarily believe in all the teachings of the Church. We were going to Church a lot while preparing for our marriage and meeting with our priest, but we haven't been back much - except for weddings, baptisms, and when we're home in NY and go with his parents.

I admire those of you that are so into your faith. Its inspirational.

Samanthas Mom Posted: Mar 05, 2003 02:18 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Rachel, have you checked your forum mail?

Anniegrl Posted: Mar 05, 2003 02:50 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Thanks Rachel. FH and I actually had a second huge fight over this, on Valentine's Day no less, so the next day I had a talk with him and said basically what you said - that it's not fair to bash someone else's faith because it's a very sensitive subject for a lot of people. It's ok to have your opinions, but you don't tell someone that what they believe in is wrong and that they should change their beliefs.
What it came down to was really the fact that he always has to prove that he's right (he's so obnoxious like that). He wasn't trying to hurt me, just educate me. He's so incredible in so many ways, which is why I love him, but he can be a little insensitive sometimes, like most guys can be. Thank goodness he's a good listener though
And he's attended plenty of Bible sessions but not at a Catholic church. He knows the Bible really well.

Unfortunately I just got a voice mail message from my church - FH and I have to go to a weekend pre-cana because we live out of state, and I just found out that we have to pay $350!!! FH is going to flip out. I didn't know you had to pay for pre-cana!

LisaT Posted: Mar 05, 2003 03:28 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Annie - we lived out of state and we didn't HAVE to do the weekend pre-cana. We chose to, but we also had the free options of meeting with couples from your local church.

You should meet with a priest at the church in your neighborhood. Technically they govern your marriage and you should be doing your pre-wedding prep through them.

We had to get 'permission' (a letter) from the Diocese in in San Francisco for us to get married in NY. And we did all our pre-cana through our priest here.

Anniegrl Posted: Mar 05, 2003 03:32 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

I didn't know that - and I'm confused. I have to get permission from my parish here to get married in NY? But I'm from NY
I'll have to call my church here and get some answers. Thanks!!

LisaT Posted: Mar 05, 2003 03:43 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

We're from NY too, but since we no longer lived there - it couldn't be considered our parish any longer.

Claud2001 Posted: Mar 05, 2003 03:48 PM

Re: It's Ash Wednesday - Can We Talk Faith?

Annie - I had the same situation as Lisa...I was living in CA (near San Fran), but getting married in NY and we took the weekend pre-cana option (and, yes...paid the $350). However, we could have done it weekly. We decided it was just more convenient to get it over with during a weekend. And I am so glad we did - it turned out to be a great experience for us. The diocese of SF just sent a letter to my parish in NY, stating that we completed the Engaged Encounter retreat for marriage preparation. It's not permission - it's just stating that you completed the necessary requirements to marry in church. And, completing this locally just makes it more convenient for you.

I remember at the end of the weekend, the couples that ran the pre-cana asked for donations, to help support the program and also to help other couples who many not be able to afford the program to fufill their obligation in order to marry in a church. Jeff and I decided to be generous, and we donated the full amount of one weekend for one couple. (If that tells you how much the weekend meant to us!)

You should speak to your parish and see if there is anyway they can help you with the cost, or if you can attend weekly pre-cana discussions that don't cost anything.