It's been a while since...

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by zoe282

I think no matter what everyone will change. It's hard to know in your 20's how you will feel about things in your 30's and 40's....I guess all anyone can do is hope that the relationship is strong enough to handle people changing. Who knows down the line if you will live where you want to live, or when children come into the picture how that will affect things....I guess if you think about it too much it will drive you nuts!

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So true! There are a lot of big things that will be happening to all of us in the next few years alone - buying a house, children, new jobs, moving to another state, etc.

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Those things, often times, put strains on a marriage!!!!

great thread - i am learning a lot!

LOL great job matilde learn about divorce the day before your wedding

Fh and I have been dating the whole time he has been in the Marine Corps. Almost 4 yrs.

Now if we can get through hardly seeing eachother but knowing we love each other soooo much. And we can get through him being deployed to Japan, being deployed to Iraq and not seeing each other for almost a year

I KNOW we can get through anything together!!!!!

so what I mean is- I want to say I know we wont get divorced but I wont because like someone siad you go into a marriage thinking that and then it can change! So I am just going to say I am confident if we ever had to come to that situation I know we would work and try our hardest!! Because we have had to work and try hard in our relationship before!

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Posted by ant n tilde

great thread - i am learning a lot!

LOL great job matilde learn about divorce the day before your wedding

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Posted by cbcf

Fh and I have been dating the whole time he has been in the Marine Corps. Almost 4 yrs.

Now if we can get through hardly seeing eachother but knowing we love each other soooo much. And we can get through him being deployed to Japan, being deployed to Iraq and not seeing each other for almost a year

I KNOW we can get through anything together!!!!!

so what I mean is- I want to say I know we wont get divorced but I wont because like someone siad you go into a marriage thinking that and then it can change! So I am just going to say I am confident if we ever had to come to that situation I know we would work and try our hardest!! Because we have had to work and try hard in our relationship before!

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well said, Catie. you are right, no one goes into marriage thinking, 'If it doesn't work out, I'll just get divorced'. I'm going into my marriage thinking, it will be fantastic and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that we are always there for each other, communicating and growing together. If I am one day faced with severe issues or problems that will ead to divorce, well, then, I'll face it then.

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Posted by ant n tilde

great thread - i am learning a lot!

LOL great job matilde learn about divorce the day before your wedding

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so sorry, tilde!

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

But what happens as you change and 'grow' apart. sometimes people just arent the same???

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great point. I mean the person you are at 20 will be completely different from the person you will be when you're like 50 years old, or even if you stay the same your husband can be the one who changes. Its hard no matter what

i mean with over 50% divorce rate then obviously people dont expect divorce when they're getting married or they wouldn't do it. A small percentage yes dont care and its like a sport to them but thats a small percentage.

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As I said in an earlier post... EVERYONE changes... it's human nature. I think that it's so important to constantly be communicating with one another so that when you do grow and gain more interests, or start a new job, or take on a new hobby, your husband/wife can be involved in it...

I know someone very close to me who is seperated and she never saw it coming, but we all did... in a year he was a completely different person and she didn't grow with him...

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this is what i am a little worried about...i am not scared that fh and i are going to get divorced we both have the same views about it. but we have such a strong communication connection since we never see eachother lol i just think when he comes home for good it is going to be alot of readjustments with living together and not leaving each other after 2 weeks (which i am very excited about ) but also fh is going to be growing and changing after getting out of the military. i know it is going to be hard for him to come back to 'civilian life' he always says it. but i know i will be there for him no matter what. but it might be hard our first couple months! especially since we will be trying to get used to what each other are like to live with haha

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In my opinion, you'll have to work harder than most newlyweds, but if anyone can do it, you and Chris certainly can!

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thanks danielle!!! like i said before i know it will be hard growing and adjusting. but we have the strength and the wonderful communication to help us through!!

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Posted by ant n tilde

great thread - i am learning a lot!

LOL great job matilde learn about divorce the day before your wedding

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Ya thats rough! You should't be reading this!! lol

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by cbcf

this is what i am a little worried about...i am not scared that fh and i are going to get divorced we both have the same views about it. but we have such a strong communication connection since we never see eachother lol i just think when he comes home for good it is going to be alot of readjustments with living together and not leaving each other after 2 weeks (which i am very excited about ) but also fh is going to be growing and changing after getting out of the military. i know it is going to be hard for him to come back to 'civilian life' he always says it. but i know i will be there for him no matter what. but it might be hard our first couple months! especially since we will be trying to get used to what each other are like to live with haha

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When your FH gets back into civilian life it will be difficult because he's so used to structure. I'm sure you know but he'll probably have quite a few jobs before he settles on something he likes. Just be patient and things will be okay

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thank you so much!!! that really makes me feel better. because i feel people dont understand sometimes. one of my best friends just think he is going to get out and become a cop (he wants to be suffolk so bad) and live that life. but i know it wont be like that. it will be hard for him like you said bec of structure and he might not get called right away when he gets home so he will need several different jobs (especialy since he didnt go to college) and i am always going to be there to support him!!!

thank you though!!

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by cbcf

this is what i am a little worried about...i am not scared that fh and i are going to get divorced we both have the same views about it. but we have such a strong communication connection since we never see eachother lol i just think when he comes home for good it is going to be alot of readjustments with living together and not leaving each other after 2 weeks (which i am very excited about ) but also fh is going to be growing and changing after getting out of the military. i know it is going to be hard for him to come back to 'civilian life' he always says it. but i know i will be there for him no matter what. but it might be hard our first couple months! especially since we will be trying to get used to what each other are like to live with haha

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When your FH gets back into civilian life it will be difficult because he's so used to structure. I'm sure you know but he'll probably have quite a few jobs before he settles on something he likes. Just be patient and things will be okay

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thank you so much!!! that really makes me feel better. because i feel people dont understand sometimes. one of my best friends just think he is going to get out and become a cop (he wants to be suffolk so bad) and live that life. but i know it wont be like that. it will be hard for him like you said bec of structure and he might not get called right away when he gets home so he will need several different jobs (especialy since he didnt go to college) and i am always going to be there to support him!!!

thank you though!!

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Absolutely! He's been supportive of you going to school and when he's back it will be your turn.

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Mici n KC

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Posted by cbcf

this is what i am a little worried about...i am not scared that fh and i are going to get divorced we both have the same views about it. but we have such a strong communication connection since we never see eachother lol i just think when he comes home for good it is going to be alot of readjustments with living together and not leaving each other after 2 weeks (which i am very excited about ) but also fh is going to be growing and changing after getting out of the military. i know it is going to be hard for him to come back to 'civilian life' he always says it. but i know i will be there for him no matter what. but it might be hard our first couple months! especially since we will be trying to get used to what each other are like to live with haha

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When your FH gets back into civilian life it will be difficult because he's so used to structure. I'm sure you know but he'll probably have quite a few jobs before he settles on something he likes. Just be patient and things will be okay

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thank you so much!!! that really makes me feel better. because i feel people dont understand sometimes. one of my best friends just think he is going to get out and become a cop (he wants to be suffolk so bad) and live that life. but i know it wont be like that. it will be hard for him like you said bec of structure and he might not get called right away when he gets home so he will need several different jobs (especialy since he didnt go to college) and i am always going to be there to support him!!!

thank you though!!

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Absolutely! He's been supportive of you going to school and when he's back it will be your turn.

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that is very true!! he has been very supportive of me going and working and complaining about it all and i will most definitely be there for him!

I definitely believe in it. It's not something that I would ever WANT to go through and I hope I won't. Life is too short to be unhappy and sometimes people do grow apart and sometimes bad things happen in marriages.

My uncle got married and had kids and had a wonderful job...the complete life! His wife turned into a MISERABLE biatch! She made his life hell and the whole family knew it....and quite honestly we would have supported him in whatever choice he made. But they had 2 kids and for that reason he stayed and lived a not so happy life when he was home. Their relationship even effected the kids. My uncle ended up having an affair with a woman that our whole family knew about and LOVED (weird I know!) Their affair lasted 25+ years! My uncle ended up getting cancer and he passed away 3 years ago...still with his wife. I remember a couple of days before he passed away the woman he was seeing came to visit him and I remember how truely happy she made him. I just wish he could have left and had a happier life. He was such a wonderful guy who everone just LOVED except my aunt I guess.

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Posted by AS

If I had gotten married it would have ended in divorce, thank goddddddd i didnt

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As hard as it is to end it before, it's so much better than after. I had a friend cancel her wedding 6 days before, but she just knew things weren't going to get better. She was so much better off. She's happily married now.

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Posted by ant n tilde

great thread - i am learning a lot!

LOL great job matilde learn about divorce the day before your wedding

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well to me it sounds like you both have a strong relationship

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Posted by yelley77

this turned out to be such a great thread!! and we were civil!! YAY!

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WOW us 08 brides are acting proper

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by yelley77

this turned out to be such a great thread!! and we were civil!! YAY!

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WOW us 08 brides are acting proper

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Can't be. It's only been up for about an hour.

Any bets on when the drama starts?

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Posted by MikeandJess

I definitely believe in it. There are a lot of marriages that just don't work out, no one does anything wrong, no one is to blame, sometimes people that were once in love can just grow apart. It's sad but true.

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I second this. I can never imagine it happening to me and my FH, but everyone says that. So I do believe in it, but I would hope that we would both try as hard as we could to fix things, of course. Abuse is not fixable, in my mind, but cheating can be forgiven and worked out, I think. Like Danielle said, I don't know until I'm in the situation. FH has been cheated on before (NOT BY ME) and I know he was very, very hurt by it - there was no working it out - so I do not think he would ever do it to someone else.

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by yelley77

this turned out to be such a great thread!! and we were civil!! YAY!

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WOW us 08 brides are acting proper

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Can't be. It's only been up for about an hour.

Any bets on when the drama starts?

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maybe bc its our year we feel we have to act different and set a good example

true it has been only an hour