UGH HOLY CRIPES FMIL AND FSIL ARE INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I'll start this out by saying that basically because of FMIL's indulgence with FSD (long story)....FSD is in remedial reading 5x a week. So...I made my status on FB that my stepdaughter needed a spot in the Zoolander School for Kids Who Can't Read Good....OBVIOUSLY A JOKE!!! FH was right there when I wrote it and found it funny as well...anyway, I changed my status soon after that...I was trying to make light of a very distressing situation, because the reality is that FSD is really smart and if she hadn't been so indulged by FMIL she wouldn't be in this position.
...FSIL decided it WASNT funny at all, took it completely personally and ratted me out to FMIL!!!!! #1....FSIL doesn't even know FSD is in remedial reading because its not like FSIL could give a damn about anyone but herself...its impossible. But SERIOUSLY????? I mean HOLY CRAP WOMAN!!!! If you have an issue with something I've said....TAKE IT UP WITH ME YOU MORON!!!!
So not only was this thrown onto FH when he called FMIL tonight...but FH was kind enough to send FMIL our epics. Her response? 'They're nice...there are some I like and some I don't'....COMPLETELY MONOTONE. IS SHE KIDDING?!?!! I don't think she has noticed that HER ONLY SON is getting married because she has not ONCE been enthusiastic about ANY SINGLE PART OF THE WEDDING AT ALL!!!!!! She told him tonight she is 'learning' to love me. Because, as you all know, I am a terrible horrible person who is impossible to love!!!
WELLLLLLLLLL They've done it now!!! The kiddie gloves are off!!!! I'm done being nice to them when they have never been nice to me...they are going to get the exact same treatment they give me!! My mother was treated just like this by her MIL and she sat back and let her do it...I will not be letting another generation of women in my family be walked all over!! This is for me AND for my mother!!!
MikesBride2B
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Member since
Re: I've Had Enough!!!!!!
Posted by AdriandSteve
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
Please don't hate me for suggesting this - because I have heard your stories about her 'me-me-me' behavior - but maybe she was just trying to protect her niece? Granted, it would've been more adult of her to call you up and say 'hey...that's not so cool, can you remove it?' I know you've mentioned that your FSD's mom isn't really active in her life; maybe FSIL just wanted to make sure that her niece's new mom wasn't also a wackadoo. Again, I know about her prior actions, and I know it's a longshot. But maybe she had an actual concern?
ITA agree with this.
I understand your frustration with your FMIL and FSIL and i'm not saying to let her walk all over you but I'd still be careful. I dunno, imo you can talk to your parents and family however you want. But when it comes to the in-laws all the rules change. I understand it totally stinks that she doesn't seem to acknowledge that her son is getting married and I 100% agree with you. But that's not something that you should be worried about at this point. My FMIL isn't involved at all and that's fine. I've learned that you can't change the relationship that your FMIL and your FH have. All you can do is let it be and go about your business. Look at it as a blessing in disguise. There are brides who have FMIL that has the 'Marie Barrone' syndrome and are overly involved. The grass is always greener.
If I really thought for one second that FSIL was actually concerned for FSD I wouldn't be as upset...but if she actually were concerned, why wouldn't she take it up with the source directly??
IA with you that I have to treat FMIL and FSIL differently...I am still giving FMIL a chance, but I am not going to just sit there and take it anymore...how can she know what needs to be changed if I never say anything? But FSIL never gave me a chance...I wanted to get to know her and have a relationship with her and not only was she never interested, she had pretty much outright disdain for me from the start...so I'm done with her. FH and her do not have a good relationship so there's no reason for me to try...if she decides that she wants to grow up and be an adult and act civil towards me then we can talk.
The rub is that I DO care about FSD and I want what is best for her...and these women don't care to see that. They think if its not what THEY want then its wrong. Well screw that...they can't run my life.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: I've Had Enough!!!!!!
And this is why I don't have facebook lol.
AdriandSteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: I've Had Enough!!!!!!
Posted by MikesBride2B
Posted by AdriandSteve
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
Please don't hate me for suggesting this - because I have heard your stories about her 'me-me-me' behavior - but maybe she was just trying to protect her niece? Granted, it would've been more adult of her to call you up and say 'hey...that's not so cool, can you remove it?' I know you've mentioned that your FSD's mom isn't really active in her life; maybe FSIL just wanted to make sure that her niece's new mom wasn't also a wackadoo. Again, I know about her prior actions, and I know it's a longshot. But maybe she had an actual concern?
ITA agree with this.
I understand your frustration with your FMIL and FSIL and i'm not saying to let her walk all over you but I'd still be careful. I dunno, imo you can talk to your parents and family however you want. But when it comes to the in-laws all the rules change. I understand it totally stinks that she doesn't seem to acknowledge that her son is getting married and I 100% agree with you. But that's not something that you should be worried about at this point. My FMIL isn't involved at all and that's fine. I've learned that you can't change the relationship that your FMIL and your FH have. All you can do is let it be and go about your business. Look at it as a blessing in disguise. There are brides who have FMIL that has the 'Marie Barrone' syndrome and are overly involved. The grass is always greener.
The rub is that I DO care about FSD and I want what is best for her...and these women don't care to see that. They think if its not what THEY want then its wrong. Well screw that...they can't run my life.
I agree that having a child involved makes the situation 100% more difficult and I can 1000% see where your coming from there. All I can say is probably what you already know. You are the parent, not them. You and FH and final say in how you raise her. If they don't like it, that's their issue to deal with, not yours.
blessed18
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Member since
Re: I've Had Enough!!!!!!
block her from you FB status and pictures, etc. and yes FH should definitely put her in her place.
Scarpak
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Re: I've Had Enough!!!!!!
Sounds like your Future in laws could give mine a run for their money, Mine are equally insane. Im no longer a 2010 bride, but i just wanted you to know your not alone
