Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

Original post by ssdbk

May 18, 2005 08:56 PM

Ok, I know it's a personal question so feel free to answer the poll anonymously or FM me if you want to chat.

FH and I are not very religious at all but the Rabbi mentioned this to us.

The Rabbi said that even men sometimes go nowadays.

I only have one friend who ever went. She keeps kosher and is from a more religious familiy than I am. I spoke to some other friends who are shocked that I would consider it (based on knowing me, I guess).

FH thinks I should go just before the wedding, to experience it once so I'll always know what it is like, since I love to learn. Also, it is considered a mitzvah to go.

marymoon Posted: May 18, 2005 11:22 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

Posted by ssdbk

I had an employee once who was Orthodox and he kinda treated me like I'm not a real Jew. I cannot imagine what he would say if he knew that I mignt not go to the Mikvah.

Ok, to break up the seriousness of the discussion........my sisters kids are not really being raised in any religion (interfaith marriage). So, they were all invited to my FILs for Passover, which was very nice. My FFIL announced that we will all take turns reading from the Hagadah. My niece speaks up and says, 'I can't do that. I don't know how to read Yarmulke style.'

Well, it was funny at the time!!!!

ROFL. I think that's adorable.

At the seder, our 2 y/o nephew kept saying 'i'm not jewish! I'm fish!' (he was playing w/ a toy fish)

Goldi1021 Posted: May 18, 2005 11:42 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

Posted by ssdbk

I had an employee once who was Orthodox and he kinda treated me like I'm not a real Jew. I cannot imagine what he would say if he knew that I mignt not go to the Mikvah.

Unfortunately that is how it goes. My father had a retail business in Williamsburg, Bklyn for over 50 years. Every Friday afternoon, the rabbinical students from Eastern Parkway in Crown Heights used to make their way over to the store (many store owners in that area are Jewish) to ask him to wrap tefillin and 'make a donation'. I told him after a while to stop giving because the Union of Orthodox Rabbis had made a claim that those who followed the Reform and Conservative movements were not practicing Judaism. Yet we were good enough to take money from. Hmmm. And one Chanukah the Local Chabad had come to my first apartment in Kew Gardens (they look for mezzuzahs to find the Jewish residents in apartment buildings) to ask me if I wanted a menorah and to 'make a donation'. When I refused to answer my door to two strange men, they proceeded to insult me and tell me my mezzuzah was tilted too much.

THAT is why I could never follow Orthodoxy. I know PLENTY of Reform and Conservative Jews who are devoted to G-d and Israel. They have Shabbat dinners and even I myself registered for a challah plate with matching knife and candlesticks. MANY go to shul weekly. I consider them just as religious.

To me, Orthodoxy is when religion IS your life while the other movements have Judaism as PARTS of their lives.

ssdbk Posted: May 18, 2005 11:56 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

You are right--everyone should do what they are comfortable with and not push their views onto other people. I don't think that a religious organization should go door to door, even if they are trying to target their own (by looking for mezuzahs).

This is why I really hope that our Rabbi leaves it up to me about whether to go to the Mikvah. We only talked about it briefly.

marymoon Posted: May 19, 2005 12:12 AM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

That's one thing I personally have a problem with, orthodox people who say if you're not orthodox, or you're not at their level of orthodoxy, yu're not jewish, or similarly catholics who say if you voted for kerry, you're not catholic, or I've even been told by people I'm not a 'real' vegetarian. It's like, what's it to you?

I think people only do that because they feel threatened. Just be strong in your faith. It doens't matter what anyone else thinks, it's between you and God.

Goldi1021 Posted: May 19, 2005 08:47 AM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

Posted by marymoon

That's one thing I personally have a problem with, orthodox people who say if you're not orthodox, or you're not at their level of orthodoxy, yu're not jewish, or similarly catholics who say if you voted for kerry, you're not catholic, or I've even been told by people I'm not a 'real' vegetarian. It's like, what's it to you?

I think people only do that because they feel threatened. Just be strong in your faith. It doens't matter what anyone else thinks, it's between you and God.

Well put!

Blu-ize Posted: May 19, 2005 09:12 AM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

I was asked to do it by the Rabbi since we lived together first. I chose not to do it. I have made my peace with God for it.

Jax430 Posted: May 19, 2005 01:27 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

I did not go to the mikvah. I have friends who are Orthodox and go every month. I love the idea of going swimming in the ocean, though.

lrs2005 Posted: May 19, 2005 01:31 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

I love the idea of going swimming. That is a wonderful idea. Perhaps I will do that.

Goldi - I am so sorry that people did that to you. Not cool at all.

shelly3950 Posted: May 19, 2005 03:55 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

I went to the milkva before me wedding in Manhattan. It was a wonderful experience. My husband and I are not religious, but I think its a special tradition. Its like cleansing yourself and starting fresh. It was very spiritual and special. I went 2 days before the wedding.

I definitely recommend it. But that's just my opinion.

We have been married for almost 9 months and I haven't gone back.

ETA: One of the best parts (to me) was getitng your self really clean- no dirt under the fingernails, no nail polish, nothing and being naked- it was all so natural. I don't think you can get the same experience in the ocean. JMO.

Goldi1021 Posted: May 19, 2005 10:37 PM

Re: Jewish brides--are you going to the Mikvah???

Posted by lrs2005

I love the idea of going swimming. That is a wonderful idea. Perhaps I will do that.

Goldi - I am so sorry that people did that to you. Not cool at all.

Fortunately I know that there are people who take things to the extremes and i do not take it personally. To me, this is how you can turn people off to religion altogether. They are lucky I didn't renounce my faith entirely.