Brides Helping Brides ™ - Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

mrswask Posted: May 12, 2004 10:20 AM

Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

We are going to a Bar Mitzvah on Saturday (day party) for the son of a teacher I work with. As you can understand, we are on a pretty tight budget - I don't want to be cheap - but what do you think is acceptable (budget-friendly) gift amount for a kid I have never met???
Thanks!!

MuchInLuvMichi Posted: May 12, 2004 10:24 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

usually its similar to a wedding like 100 p/person, does kinda depend on the location, for 2 pple even 150 is a perfect gift especially considering u dont know the kid..in my opinion..

mrswask Posted: May 12, 2004 10:25 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

For a Bar Mitzvah???

PrincessRose Posted: May 12, 2004 10:36 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

Oh Good Grief.

$100 for a Bar Mitzvah?!!!!!!!

$36 or $54 is perfectly acceptable, Michal.

I Gave my COUSIN an $18 check, $10 in Gift certificates to Krispy Kreme, and a Krispy Kreme Mug ($5), and I was his favorite gift giver.

Damn I wish I had invited more Brides to be to my Bat Mitzvah.

dublreedr Posted: May 12, 2004 10:49 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

I don't think I would give less than $100. Even if I don't know the boy!

MindyL28 Posted: May 12, 2004 10:54 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

I know my Bat Mitzvah was a million years ago but I don't think people are expected to give $100 each unless they can afford that. I think even $75 from both of you is fine or get him a gift certificate for $50 or $75 to a cool place like an electronics store (Best Buy, Circuit City, etc) so he can get something he wants.

MuchInLuvMichi Posted: May 12, 2004 10:59 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

i agree i wouldnt give less then 100, its a huge deal in the jewish tradition, these parties r as fancy as weddings typically

PrincessRose Posted: May 12, 2004 11:47 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

Do you guys want to come to my wedding?

My GRANDPARENTS gave me $150 for my Bat Mitzvah. I mostly got checks for $18 or $36. Mine wasn't SO long ago - only 11 years. I've been to my share since then, and things haven't changed so much.

TRUST ME - it's a big deal (otherwise why throw such a huge party) but it's not like the parents are looking to recoup the money, or like this is a young couple starting their lives together, saving for a home. A Bar Mitzvah is NOT a wedding.

nferrandi Posted: May 12, 2004 12:11 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

I agree with PrincessRose. I wouldn't mistake a Bar Mitzvah for a wedding, they're not the same thing AT ALL. I think $75 would be sufficient, $100 if you can afford to.

eogara Posted: May 12, 2004 12:13 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

Posted by nferrandi

I agree with PrincessRose. I wouldn't mistake a Bar Mitzvah for a wedding, they're not the same thing AT ALL. I think $75 would be sufficient, $100 if you can afford to.

I totally agree! I think it's a little ridiculous to be expected to give $100pp for a 13 year old's party! They've gotten so out of control since I was 13, my G-d!! I'd say $50-75 for the two of you is more than fine.

Jax430 Posted: May 12, 2004 12:42 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

While I agree with those who said it isn't the same as a wedding, many Bar and Bat Mitzvahs take place at the same venues and cost a similar amount. I remember getting $36 from most of my friends at my Bat Mitzvah 12 years ago, and anywhere between $50-$75 from couples. I think I would give at least $75 these days. l

Jax430 Posted: May 12, 2004 12:43 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

While I agree with those who said it isn't the same as a wedding, many Bar and Bat Mitzvahs take place at the same venues and cost a similar amount. I remember getting $36 from most of my friends at my Bat Mitzvah 12 years ago, and anywhere between $50-$75 from couples. I think I would give at least $75 these days. l

Jax430 Posted: May 12, 2004 12:43 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

While I agree with those who said it isn't the same as a wedding, many Bar and Bat Mitzvahs take place at the same venues and cost a similar amount. I remember getting $36 from most of my friends at my Bat Mitzvah 12 years ago, and anywhere between $50-$75 from couples. I think I would give at least $75 these days. l

Nora101004 Posted: May 12, 2004 12:45 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

I would give a multiple of 18 (which means life). For my boss' son bar mitzvah, I gave $54 and bought him a gift- try the store Zion Lion in Huntington or Chai 'N' Mazel in Commack, both on Jericho Turnpike

mrswask Posted: May 12, 2004 04:33 PM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

Thanks for the input ladies - I think I will prob do a multiple of 18 - I know what a couple of you are saying about it being a big day and everything - and it is - but bottom line - the kid is 13 years old - and it's the parents who choose to go as overboard as they do!!

Novembergirl Posted: May 13, 2004 08:06 AM

Re: Jewish Brides - Bar Mitzvah Gift Question

I disagree. I think you do give a similar gift as a wedding. Or you do a bond that matures when the kid does. Where is the Bar Mitzvah? Is a large wedding like party or a small party? I know the kids give each other chai or double chai but not the adults. I do think the type of party they are planning would affect the gift.