Jewish Brides-How do you feel?

I married a Roman Catholic in 2006 and I remember being nervous and often having secret second thoughts. HE was perfect (like PERFECT), but the religion thing bothered me, but only deep down, and I never admitted it. I was just wondering how everyone else feels going through an intermarriage?

Do you ever feel guilty? Do you ever feel like you might be missing out on something, some kind of authentic Jewish life? What's your impression at this stage?

hi. my fh is Catholic, Personally, no i have never once felt this, If I had, i might not have been with him at this stage. i wish i had more advice for you but i just never felt like that. im also not very religious although i do believe in my religion and God, im also very open to different religions and sharing a life with him that combines the best of both. possibly if i was more religious, i would have different feelings about this,.

are you getting married again to someone who is Catholic, are you feeling this way possibly because you're unsure if they will support you still having Jewish practices and religion in your life? I would approach this with honesty and sincerity with your fh (if youre getting married again) and just try to work out why you are feeling like this, If you end up feeling like you are really uncomfortable marrying a person from another religoin, I would take some time to yourself to think things over,

I am marrying someone not Jewish and I am.

Being Jewish does not defy me but I am proud of my heritage (esp since my Dad was holocaust survivor).

But then again, I am a person who kinda frowns against ALL organized religion.

And if someone is that perfect, where he comes from should mean nothing. I dated Jewish guys that treated me like crap. And non Jewish too.

I am marrying someone who is Jewish. I always felt that marrying outside my religion was not an option for me. But I made that decision way before ever meeting anyone significant.
BUT, if I did meet someone who I love immensely religion would've plaid very small part of my decision to marry that person or not.
I dont think anyone should feel guilty about their life choices if they were right at that time.

Is your DH doesnt support your religious practices? I would talk and explain how it is actually quite wonderful to have such a great mix of religious views, traditions and life experiences. If the problem stems from u personally maybe u need to evaluate where this is coming from

I am also Jewish and FH isnt... i guess it doesnt bug me so much cause FH doesnt follow any organized religion.... im sure my mom would be very happy tough if i had wound up with a nice Jewish boy though...sorry mom!

But what about holidays? Passover, Chanuka, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, etc.

How will the kids be raised?

(These things bothered me because we could never have a clear answer on what to do...)

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Posted by ronixo

But what about holidays? Passover, Chanuka, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, etc.

How will the kids be raised?

(These things bothered me because we could never have a clear answer on what to do...)

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I'm confused. Are you still married? Was religion an issue during any of the planning? Or just something you never talked/thought about and wish you had?

We resolved our issues, but it was a long hard road at first, and if I could do it over again I might have taken it more seriously with him in the planning stage.

I'm just wondering what other Jewish brides are mentally/emotionally going through at this point, if any of these things occur to them/you. I don't think they really did for me.

I am Jewish and my FH is Presbyterian. I never thought I would date outside of my religion...Jewish children and a Jewish home is something that has always been incredibly important to me.

When FH and I first started talking and we realized there was a spark, I laid out my bottom line right up front: I wanted a Jewish home and Jewish children, and if he couldn't live with that then we shouldn't even get involved...obviously he was okay with it, and is open to learning about and living in a Jewish home.

We agreed that he wouldn't convert unless he chose to...he still goes to church on Sundays and is as involved as he likes.

Sometimes I do worry a little that at some point he'll resent me for his children being Jewish...but I just have to trust in the fact that its not like him to be that way...and if he does, we'll deal with it when we get there.

i answered above but in regards to children and im not saying this would work for everyone but i think it was a great piece of advice and my fh and i are going to follow this

so someone told me, if you are going to choose one religion or the other to raise the children to be, then your choice should be based on which parent will uphold and teach the children best about the religion. basically, they were saying regardless of why you might choose one religion or the other, dont choose one and then dont teach the children about it, raise them to be a part of it because the decision will have been for nothing and more about the parents than what was best for the child.

so neither fh or i are very religious however it seems that i know more about judaism than he does about catholisicm and so we decided that i am better suited to teach our kidswhat it is to be jewish than either of us do to teach our kids to be catholic. also i was raised jewish however my mom had me be a small part of the christian holidays as well, like getting a little gift at christmas, dying eggs on easter just so i would have my eyes open to other religions and not feel left out when many of my friends were celebrating the other holidays. we will do the same with our kids and expect we will let them know that they are celebrating these holidays with little traiditons because their dad was raised catholic

Thanks for your replies. It's interesting to see how mellow most of you are, as I was certainly not (although had no one really to freak out to - I mean what would they tell me, so don't get married???)

So what actually wound up happening is that I told him how I felt, and after a few conversations (and crying), he realized what a deep, important thing it was to me and started to look into it seriously.

He got really into it, and to make a long story short, he wound up asking ME if we could move to an orthodox neighborhood. He converted, we had another wedding (really small) and now we're orthodox Jews.

But I think about it sometimes - Could I have lived with myself if things were different? If we were conservative, probably. But now that we have a child, I realize how much we couldn't have accounted for before.

Anyway, I know everything about a Jewish wedding, so if anyone has questions, I love to talk about it. Also, please FM or email me if you have a general Jewish Q (holidays, family, etc). [email protected]