Joke of the day

As per request.....

She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. 'Who was it?' he asked. 'My husband,' she replied. 'I better get going,' he said. 'Where was he?' 'Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you.'

I thought this was funny..feel free to add yours!

How can you tell if a man is lying?

His lips are moving.

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse fall's into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.

He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.