Brides Helping Brides ™ - Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

PrincessRose Posted: Jul 27, 2004 10:03 AM

Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

Is it bad that we discuss our pre-booking experiences with vendors? Especially when mainly confined to FMs rather than on the board?

I mean, if they are jerks before they even get our money, isn't it then possible/probable that they will be even worse once they have our deposits and a signed contract?

For example:

A vendor is pulling the hard sell while you are trying to negotiate with him. During the conversation you mention that you are under a lot of stress because your father, who is paying for the bulk of the wedding, is lying in a hospital bed. You also mention that he is suffering from the same thing that killed His father less than a week before his wedding, an event which STILL stings in the memories of certain family members.

Later in the conversation you mention a few things that your parents want out of the wedding, that should be indespensible from the services being booked.

This vendor then tells you not to worry about what your parents want - because someday they'll be dead and everything that's theirs will be yours.

You book with someone else.

If that were to happen to a person, wouldn't you think she would be honor-bound to tell other people about it? I mean, if someone is that disrespectful while he's trying to get your money, wouldn't it be possible that he'd be just as bad on the wedding day?

I mean, if you don't mention the vendors name ON the boards and just answer requests for information with 'FM me with questions', that really isn't so bad.

Just a few thoughts on the subject.

Oh, and one more thing - a few people had given me some bad reviews about vendors that I am using too. I don't continuously come on here posting to discredit them.

palebride Posted: Jul 27, 2004 10:05 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

someone actually said that to you?

suven Posted: Jul 27, 2004 10:06 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I agree with you. But, I am also a person who had to CANCEL a contract with a vendor because I posted a GENERAL posted stating that I was concerned with A VENDOR...the vendor then sent me a nasty FM...

From my own experience, vendors DO read the BHB boards and OTHER BRIDES also TELL them about posts...

So, as much as I love LIW, my advice is: proceed with caution...

Corduroy94 Posted: Jul 27, 2004 10:53 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I wasn't sure if I should post but since I know what it's about here goes -

First, thanks Pricess Rose for all your posts - asside from what is a bit of a controversial topic you have always been helpful & supportive when I've posted! I couldn't agree more that what they said was totally inapropriate

2nd, I booked Sherwood Triart & am really glad I did. So far they have been very nice & extremely helpful. They've bent over backward for anything I need. I can only wish they'd done it for you

I try to judge my vendors on how the final result is. I think people need to meet with them & judge for themselves. If you are adamant about providing examples, lists of must have shots & assigning one or two BM's to help see that this happens - it makes a huge difference.

bethsiar Posted: Jul 27, 2004 10:57 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

honey I can't believe someone said that to you!!! and my thoughts are with you and your Dad. Please tell about this vendor so people don't waste time looking at them and so he can be punished for his terrible actions and words.

divabride Posted: Jul 27, 2004 10:59 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I totally agree with you. We all consider each other friends looking out for each other. If you had a bad experience, I would appreciate it if you told me just what you told us up above. No mention of their work, no mention of prices, just the fact that their professionalism was questionable. There was no mention of 'Do not use them' or 'Stay away'. Just a mere telling of a situation that happened to you. Some people dont know how to take the advice and go and mention it to the vendor, which is not the way to do it. Rather we should take the advice with a grain of salt and just keep it in the back of our heads.

charlotte227 Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I say post it as it is....we are all paying way too much $$$ for one day and would like some honesty....if a vendor gets upset they have a reason to....if they are a good business and fair they have nothing to worry about because they will always have return business via word of mouth...we all want the best that is why we come on these boards to share.

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:04 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

YUCK! What a nasty thing to say!!!!
I agree with Divabride.....if someone advises something about a vendor...it is up to a bride to decide whether to see them or not.

Karacg Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:08 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I am sorry you had this experience. In reply to your question, I would say let us know who it is. Honestly, there are SOOO many vnedors out there, besides the ones everone seems to pick on here or who advertise on LIWeddings.
The cheapest publicity is word of mouth --- good OR bad!! So if they want to be on here, they should be prepared for both.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:18 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

Just a comment from a past bride.

We are so focused on the job the vendor will do the day of the wedding but we often forget that we have to continue working with them after the wedding - So while we might click with a particular photographer, videographer, etc. Most likely you will NOT be dealing with that person after the wedding. So the people you meet with to book are often the ones you meet with later when dealing with thank yous, albums, videos etc.

If their customer service is less than stellar when you are looking into booking with them - how do you think they will treat you 1) after they get your money or 2) after the wedding in general. THIS IS WHY vendor interviews from future brides can be very important - if they treat people who have not booked with them this way they will very likely treat them the same AFTER you have paid them their money.

I know MANY people who were victims of places where the wedding day was perfect but the after dealing were horror stories.

Corduroy94 Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:25 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

Not to drag this on but PricessRose is right for posting what happened to her. I know that there are some folks on here that are VERY upset that she tells people to FM her on this vendor. If something this upsetting happened to anyone else I'm sure they'd post it too. Isn't the point of this board so that we can post the good & bad?

I'm happy with the vendor & clearly the other brides that booked them are too BUT that shouldn't stop future brides from being aware of what happened so they can decide for themselves.

(sorry I just got am FM from someone I don't even know complaining to me on this topic)

PrincessRose Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:27 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

For the record - I had NO INTENTION of telling anyone who the vendor in question was on the boards. Anyone who wanted to know could FM me for that information and has over the last few months.

However, since Corduroy has told everyone EXACTLY who it was who said those awful things, I am absolved of any wrong doing in that effect.

BTW, Corduroy - my comments had NOTHING to do with you. They were about another person who likes to come on here and tell everyone not to listen to me. If you booked with them, Fine by me. I'm glad that they weren't awful to you. I hope it stays that way.

I think we are all old enough to know how to make decisions for ourselves, and we all know that vendors are going to get good reviews and bad ones. But to come onto the board telling people that someone on here is just vendor bashing for the sake of vendor bashing is in poor taste.

Also for the record - I met with a lot of vendors who I didn't book with for one reason or another. You will note that I have NEVER bashed any vendor on the boards (although the low-lifes in question I'm sure know exactly what I've said about them which is fine by me). Furthermore, I tell people who ask about other vendors that I saw the good things about them, and rarely do I mention the bad unless they did something in VERY poor taste (like remind me of the fact that my Dad is going to die).

I am also not one of those people who says 'If you don't use all the exact same vendors as I did I'm not going to be your friend!' Go ahead, use who you want! But if someone posts asking a question about a vendor and I think there's something they ought to know, I'm going to tell them! That's what these boards are for, are they not?

heidla Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:32 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I think that we should absolutely share our experiences. That is what I thought was one of the purposes of this board.

You can state your experience and not be slandering a vendor. To simply tell a story is different then saying 'Stay a way from' or 'Beware of'. I have read many reviews of vendors (good and bad) and I trust in my ability to decide things for myself.

Corduroy94 Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:35 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

Princess Rose! I just sent you FM as yours came in

ETA - I think we have the same 'problem'

wc0143 Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:37 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

Okay but here is where I go NUTS (and I believe got flamed by someone before for teh same reaction) ...

PrincessRose told anyone to FM if they wanted to know the vendor ... why then does something think they have the right to post who she spoke of in confidence??????????

Not that the VENDOR should be protected from bad press but knowing about bride abuse from vendors, the BRIDE should be protected from nasty FM's etc from a ticked off vendor.

Off my soap box ...

PrincessRose Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:40 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

Corduroy and I are totally cool - we're FMing each other back and forth and we are incidentally in a similar boat!

Just wanted you all to know that she and I are OK with each other.

Thank you, ladies, for your support.

Corduroy94 Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:45 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

You are too funny! I'm glad I'm not the only one in that 'boat'!! I mean come on it's just a web page people! Aren't we all in this for better or worse?! Princess Rose you rule!

laudipop Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:48 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

I obviously missed something, because I have no idea what you guys are talking about! But I wish more people would report negative things they've heard/experienced with vendors. It's a lot more helpful to hear about potential problems before booking a vendor, because even if you book them anyway, you know what to watch out for as you work with them.

If the vendors are reading these boards, they should be prepared to see things they don't like. Or else they should behave in such a professional manner as to not cause complaints.

PrincessRose, I'm so sorry anyone said such an awful thing to you.

Kriss2c Posted: Jul 27, 2004 11:48 AM

Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.

First off, I am so sorry to hear about your father. Second, I am sorry that you came in contact with such a sh*tty excuse of a human being, especially while trying to plan what is to be a joyous occasion.

Third and final, I think that you are being very diplomatic with how you are handling this situation. If it were me, I would want to take out a full page color add in the Sunday New York Times detailing such an unpleasant experience.