Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
Original post by PrincessRose
Is it bad that we discuss our pre-booking experiences with vendors? Especially when mainly confined to FMs rather than on the board?
I mean, if they are jerks before they even get our money, isn't it then possible/probable that they will be even worse once they have our deposits and a signed contract?
For example:
A vendor is pulling the hard sell while you are trying to negotiate with him. During the conversation you mention that you are under a lot of stress because your father, who is paying for the bulk of the wedding, is lying in a hospital bed. You also mention that he is suffering from the same thing that killed His father less than a week before his wedding, an event which STILL stings in the memories of certain family members.
Later in the conversation you mention a few things that your parents want out of the wedding, that should be indespensible from the services being booked.
This vendor then tells you not to worry about what your parents want - because someday they'll be dead and everything that's theirs will be yours.
You book with someone else.
If that were to happen to a person, wouldn't you think she would be honor-bound to tell other people about it? I mean, if someone is that disrespectful while he's trying to get your money, wouldn't it be possible that he'd be just as bad on the wedding day?
I mean, if you don't mention the vendors name ON the boards and just answer requests for information with 'FM me with questions', that really isn't so bad.
Just a few thoughts on the subject.
Oh, and one more thing - a few people had given me some bad reviews about vendors that I am using too. I don't continuously come on here posting to discredit them.
Barakabella
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
I think you are handling with dignity and should get credit for that. I also think that we have the right to be honest without fear of retribution. My review was very detailed because I wanted to give back to this site which --Saved me lots of money by being able to get prices from other girls who had been there before me (ie -- what did you pay for alterations...) --Introduced me to vendors I never would have found (JOHN OF FLOWER MICHELLE -- one of my wedding all-stars) --the ability to search for reviews on vendors under consideration However, IMHO, and I say respectfully that I think the best people to get advice from about vendor quality (as opposed to price quotes and such) are the women who are already married and had their weddings. I am always mystified by those who can speak volumes about the work a photographer did before he/she photographed their wedding for example. I think you feel like the vendors you book are going to be great but that it is really clearest the kind of service they provide during and after the wedding. The reason I think the Bride's Review is such a great resource is because you are heaing it from the horse's mouth RIGHT when their memory is best. I posted upon return from my honeymoon when all the little details were fresh in my mind. Many of us have had vendors that we were really excited about who did not exactly live up to expectations--this is something you can only know after the fact. Anyway, I say be honest, not inflammaotry or mean, and just report what experiences you have had factually and without malice.
FoxHollowbride0617
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and should not have to worry about what someone else is going to say. Princess, I am so sorry about your father and what was said to you was completely inappropriate. I think people do not post negative vendor comments because they know that someone else will be offended. I know of two vendors that are very popular that I would not use because of a situation a friend of mine had. I haven't posted it for that reason
Bunnymonkey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
The vendor involvement on the bridal boards is pretty revolting as far as I am concerned. No bride should be attacked for posting her opinion. I would love to hear about WHO said that to you (although from the posts following it, I can certainly ascertain and do my own searching on the ba$tard)
I am so sorry to hear about such a clueless and awful person. I am glad you did not go with him.
FH and I have already identified our main priority when booking vendors-write checks to the people we feel are genuine, passionate, good human beings. I know you always can't tell if someone is awful right from the start, but we are extremely intuitive and sensitive individuls and can hopefully tell when looking in a vendors eyes if they CARE about their work and others, or if they just want your money.
I would encourage everyone to do the same.
for you.
butterfly20
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
that is a horrible thing for a vendor to say... anyone should be able to post their real experience, as long as its real.... It doesnt necessarily mean the vendors bad, but its just one persons occurance, people can make their own decisions
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
i think its horrible that a vendor said that to you. and i don't think your intention was to bash that particular vendor ( i don't know who it was and that is not the issue.) but you kind of stirred up the pot of gossip and let people's imgination run away with them. i see that its hard for us as brides to be to not want to share our bad experiences with others on here, especially since we are only looking out for each other. i must go back to my mom's words of advise 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.' i think even FM's get a little high schoolish and just causes problems. forgive the vent, but just wanted to put my 2 cents in.
Bunnymonkey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a few thoughts - Long, But bear with me here.
In going back and doing a search on past posts about this particular vendor, it seems you have been angrily FMing everyone who has even a remote interest in using them, and even girls who have already paid a deposit to use them.
You had a legitimately bad experience, and you were hurt by it. This is understandable, given the fact that it all had to do with a very emotional topic:your father.
However, I do have to say that I think there is a fine line between informing brides of an ethically questionable vendor, and trying angrily and desperately to put a vendor out of business because they hurt you. The question is: How long will you continue to FM people about this vendor? Until you feel as if you have gotten revenge on him? I hate to analyze - but it seems your secondary concern is to warn brides, the primary to seek some relief for the pain he caused you.
There is a point where you have to let things go or they will eat away at you.
The vendor in question will suffer from his own actions eventually.
