Yesterday I find out that the mother (who I know well) of one of my friends who is getting married in spring of 08 booked the shower w/o consulting any of the BMs. Yes, I'm a BM. We've already been told numerous times that the BMs are paying for the shower. I am totally fine with that...but shouldn't the mother than checked to see if her BMs were available that day? Well it turns out she booked it the day I'm getting back from my HM. If that's the only time she could have it...mind you it's 6 months before the wedding, fine, I'll pay and not go. But what made me more angry was that when another BM told her about my HM she said, 'oh, we'll she''ll just be a little jet-lagged, that's all' We're flying through the night from Hawaii...I would like to relax with my husband...maybe see our famililes and rehash the wedding I'm considering that last day still part of my HM. . Am I being selfish to not want to get off a plane and drive 2 hours to a shower?
UPDATE: I got a message tonight--they're changing the date now.
SusiBtoM
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Re: just a little vent
Not being selfish, just being reasonable.
JMO six months before the wedding is a bit early to hold a bridal shower.
carolinebr
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Re: just a little vent
that would annoy me. The BMs should have been consulted particularly if they are footing the bill
tricia3381
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IMO the mom had no busines picking the date with the consulting the BM's since u guys are the ones paying for it. i would call her and see if theres another date that works for 2 reasons- 1) ur going to be exhausted and 2) 6 months before the wedding is way too early to have a bridal shower.
ETA: i wonder if she's a little bitter that ur getting married before her daughter? not that it would make it right for her to do what she did, i'm just trying to figure out what would make her think its ok to book a shower that shes not paying for w/o consulting the BP.
Tobewed07
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Re: just a little vent
Posted by tricia3381
IMO the mom had no busines picking the date with the consulting the BM's since u guys are the ones paying for it. i would call her and see if theres another date that works for 2 reasons- 1) ur going to be exhausted and 2) 6 months in way too early to have a bridal shower.
Exactly!! That was just selfish and rude and her behalf!!
LB and DC
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Re: just a little vent
IMO, that was very inconsiderate - especially since the BMs are paying!! did you say anything to her?
IMO the mom had no busines picking the date with the consulting the BM's since u guys are the ones paying for it. i would call her and see if theres another date that works for 2 reasons- 1) ur going to be exhausted and 2) 6 months in way too early to have a bridal shower.
I agree. That was extremely rude and inconsiderate of her. Ick.
rkl1130
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Re: just a little vent
You are being reasonable. I would be annoyed too. Doesn't planning a shower involve input from everyone?! She really should've consulted ALL the BMs before booking things.
magbride
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Re: just a little vent
I still haven't talked to her...she only called one of the BMs claiming not to have anyone's number. I'd like to call her, but I have to get her cell phone..my friend lives at home. Ugh, I still can't believe she really thought I was going to be up for gettting off a plane and coming.
MissAngel
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Re: just a little vent
sorry - something weird's going on with my PC lol
MissAngel
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Re: just a little vent
Posted by LB and DC
IMO, that was very inconsiderate - especially since the BMs are paying!! did you say anything to her?
I totally agree - you're not wrong for feeling that way at all!
This is just a thought, but I don't know if it's too mean-spirited or not...Depending on how close you are to the other BMs, is there any way you can get most or all of them to also say that they're not available that day? If you can, then perhaps you could kind of force her hand to reschedule it? I'm willing to bet that she wouldn't want all (or most) of the girls to miss it since it would TOTALLY be spiting her daughter if you all weren't there. I don't know...I feel evil for even recommending it, but it's a thought...
lilangel
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Re: just a little vent
You not being selfish at all. You are just finishing your Honeymoon not to mention your going to be falling asleep if you do go.
thelastresort
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Re: just a little vent
Are you kidding me? That is ridiculous. You should call the mom and tell her that is not going to work for you and since you are paying for it, you want to be a part of it. Change the date. Plain and simple. I went through the same scenario last year but I didn't do it as diplomatically as I would have liked (I more like blew a hissy) but whatever! Why should you have to miss out on that?! Please. I'm sure her daughter will be PO'd too if she knew that.
futuremrsfab
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Re: just a little vent
That's ridiculous! First she should have checked the date, second-- who is she to determine where it is if you are all hosting it! You should talk to the other BM's and think about how to handle it as a group...
aimes1313
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Re: just a little vent
Posted by futuremrsfab
That's ridiculous! First she should have checked the date, second-- who is she to determine where it is if you are all hosting it! You should talk to the other BM's and think about how to handle it as a group...
I agree
AMGBride2008
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Re: just a little vent
No way... you are not being unreasonable. I would call the mother up and let her know that unless she changes the date that you won't be able to attend the shower becaue you'll still be on your HM.
StarryEyedBride
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Re: just a little vent
Posted by SusiBtoM
Not being selfish, just being reasonable.
JMO six months before the wedding is a bit early to hold a bridal shower.
I agree - that is early
AlmostKulak
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Re: just a little vent
I think it is completely reasonable for you to feel this way!! She shouldn't have booked anything if she is not paying for it, that was up to the BP the ones who are footing the bill. 6 months before the wedding???? She sounds like a lunatic I would talk to the other BMs and see if you as a group can change it.
diva7531
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Re: just a little vent
JMHO if the BM's are paying the mother should consult not book and if she knew you couldn't be there she should have waited. I would have a meeting with the BM's and see if it is plausible to move it to 1: closer to the wedding, 2: Convient for the whole BP. Hope everything works out for you, and if it were me I would not go to the shower.
